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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a weird message from colleague?

294 replies

Octaviaeight · 10/03/2018 19:46

New colleague sat next to me for about a month (she's been in the company a year but just moved to my department).

She messaged me on Facebook last night and said just letting you know that I was in a car crash last night.

I wasn't at work this week and I won't be next week either so wouldn't have noticed her missing.

I'm not her manager, her absence doesn't need to be reported to me at all.

Obviously I asked how she was but I'm not a close friend of hers. We've never socialised.

She has a boyfriend and lots of family so she's not lonely.

Is that an odd message to send?

OP posts:
troodiedoo · 10/03/2018 21:05

Unsolicited?! She's not selling double glazing.

Poor woman, hope she's ok.

MotherofaSurvivor · 10/03/2018 21:06

@FissionChips Genuine question and no disrespect if you do, (my DD may also has this) but could you possibly have ASD? As your comments always seem to rub everyone up the wrong way?

Original poster
Octaviaeight · 10/03/2018 21:07

.. if you don't put 'emphasis' on facebook don't add people you're not bothered to hear from ever.

She added me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Octaviaeight · 10/03/2018 21:07

Unsolicited?! She's not selling double glazing.

Oh my days Hmm please show me one post where I used the word unsolicited

OP posts:
dangerrabbit · 10/03/2018 21:08

Sounds that she is in shock and wants to let people know. I’d send her a polite message saying sorry to hear that hope you’re ok, see you back at work, and leave it at that.

GertieMotherwell · 10/03/2018 21:09

This is a weird thread.

Misseeeee · 10/03/2018 21:09

She added me

But presumably you accepted??

MarthaArthur · 10/03/2018 21:09

octavia you realise pp are quoting and talking to other posters on here right? She never aimed that at you.

NotACleverName · 10/03/2018 21:09

I would just ignore and put on my restricted list. A work college is just that.

Another weird response. I'm not getting these blank/block/ignore responses. Is this another one of these MN things? In the real world surely to god you'd reply with some sympathy, not just go from 0 - block?

Zazzleza · 10/03/2018 21:10

Poor girl. Just hope she’s not having a Saturday nosey on mumsnet to take her mind off the accident!

MarthaArthur · 10/03/2018 21:10

Poor woman hope she is ok. The worlds getting shit. We used to have social clubs and chat to neighbours and the man in yhe corner shop. Now its considered strange to talk to a bloody coworker. Sad sad sad.

GlitterGlassEye · 10/03/2018 21:11

Jesus, just send the poor lassie a quick message saying you hope that she’s ok. Job done. Why all the overthinking? I was in a car crash myself a few days ago and hope that I’ve not offended anybody by letting them know Hmm.

RingtheBells · 10/03/2018 21:12

It’s a bit of a drama, I would have just said oh, I hope you are ok and no one was hurt

TheMaddHugger · 10/03/2018 21:12

backs back out the door. Ooops wrong room

To think this is a weird message from colleague?
PoorYorick · 10/03/2018 21:14

People said why did you add her if she’s not your friend. My response was I don’t put emphasis on Facebook, I don’t have a criteria to meet if someone adds me.

You didn't say anything about your 'criteria' for friendship, you made a comparison between how you use FB and how others do (you give it less importance, of course), and made the point that you don't post much. |

None of which is relevant. It's not the medium she used that seems to bother you, it's the fact that she told you about the car crash at all. Presumably you'd have found it more intrusive if she'd texted you, if she had your number.

And I don't know why that's got you so wound up, seriously. She thought you might notice her absence (you think she remembers your holidays?) plus she's probably shaken and telling lots of people. That's all it is. Not a big deal.

Feel free to tell her to fuck off, punch her in the face and kick her grandma if you really want her to get the point.

PoorYorick · 10/03/2018 21:15

Another weird response. I'm not getting these blank/block/ignore responses. Is this another one of these MN things?

Yeah, I think it is. Along with never answering the door. I guess these people never buy things online.

NotTerfNorCis · 10/03/2018 21:16

I'd agree with what others have said, she's reaching out in a moment of stress. It's natural.

FissionChips · 10/03/2018 21:17

I wasn't aware my comments always rub people the wrong way MotherofaSurvivor Confused .
I don’t see why people have such an issue with what I said, I can’t possibly be the only person who does it, why would you want contact when you’re just going about your day?!

MyNameIsNotSteven · 10/03/2018 21:18

Feel free to tell her to fuck off, punch her in the face and kick her grandma if you really want her to get the point.

Fuck me, I love Mumsnet. Brilliant retort. Grin

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 10/03/2018 21:18

I thought I was an anti-social misanthropist but people on this thread really take the biscuit.

She was in a car accident. It's can be a terrible shock - I was in one that I walked away from and didn't need medical attention for, and I had flipping flashbacks of the impact for months.

Grow a heart and ask how she is.

MadMags · 10/03/2018 21:18

You’re very weird, OP.

I’m sure if she knew what you were really like she wouldn’t have dared to sully the sacred halls of your Facebook messenger by telling you. Hmm

MadMags · 10/03/2018 21:20

@FissionChips someone messaging you has absolutely no impact on your day at all. You don’t have to respond. You don’t have to do anything.

Serialweightwatcher · 10/03/2018 21:20

The worlds getting shit. We used to have social clubs and chat to neighbours and the man in yhe corner shop. Now its considered strange to talk to a bloody coworker. Sad sad sad.

Too right

GlassHalfFullOfWee · 10/03/2018 21:20

She thinks you and she are closer than you think you are.

She told you in case you found out third hand and were offended that she hadn’t told you directly.

My two pence.

DalekDalekDalek · 10/03/2018 21:21

I’d block and blank though , unexpected communication freaks me out

Christ, what do you do if someone stops you in the street and asks for directions? Run away screaming?

I've seen some weird posts on AIBU but this is up there is strange attitudes. If everyone was like some people on here, no one would ever leave their house.