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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was dd being unreasonable not to give up best seat for old man?

391 replies

deno · 09/03/2018 18:53

DD1 is in her first year at uni in London, studying politics, and regularly attends talks given by politicians at different universities/lecture halls across London.

She was attending a talk by a Lib Dem MP at Queen Mary's - she'd been to the lecture theatre there before, so knew where the speaker would sit, and where in the lecture theatre she needed to sit to have the best view - the aisle seats on the left hand side of the centre block of seats. She got there very early, was the first in, and sat down in the nearest to the front aisle seat on that side of the room.

A few minutes later, an old man walks in, and looks like he wants to sit in the same row, so DD stands up to let him past her. But instead of walking past, he says to her, "Aren't you going to move up then?". She says that she wants the aisle seat, and he replies, "Well, I was hoping to sit there." She points out that she is happy to let him get past her into the same row, or the aisle seat in the row behind is available, but he starts insisting that his eyesight is too bad and sitting one foot further back will mean he won't be able to see.

At this point, DD sat down and just stopped talking to him. He huffed loudly and sat down in the row behind her, and then kept muttering to himself about how awful young people these days are, until the talk started.

Was DD being unreasonable not to give up the best seat to the old man?

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 09/03/2018 18:54

No she wasn’t.

YouTheCat · 09/03/2018 18:54

She sounds quite rude.

YouTheCat · 09/03/2018 18:55

But then so does he.

MrsSeverusSnape · 09/03/2018 18:55

Nope.

PuppyMonkey · 09/03/2018 18:55

She WNBU.

FuzzyCustard · 09/03/2018 18:56

Sounds like they were both being a bit unreasonable. DD was there first, and didn't have to move, but could have given up her seat without too much hardship; the gentleman may genuinely have wanted that seat for good reason, but didn't go about it the right way.

A bit of give and take helps the world go round.

SmashedMug · 09/03/2018 18:56

No she wasn't unreasonable and she wasn't rude. She got there first and she wanted the seat she'd chosen. If he wants the aisle, he should get there earlier.

If you hadn't mentioned his age, no one would say she was rude or unreasonable.

AmysTiara · 09/03/2018 18:57

It seems odd that in the whole of a nearly empty room, the man insisted that was the exact seat he needed to sit in.

I don't think she was rude.

Papplewapplewoo · 09/03/2018 18:57

She was not bu at all

FairiesVsPixies · 09/03/2018 18:58

He sounds like a cheeky git, nothing to do with being old. It would be different if there were no other seats available.

GreenOr · 09/03/2018 18:58

Chances are he was thinking the same as her and was pulling a fast one

Theresasmayshoes11 · 09/03/2018 18:58

They both sound rude really. He should have got their earlier if he wanted that seat but your dd is young and could see and hear just as well one row behind.

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/03/2018 18:58

She wasn’t being at all unreasonable. Hope the talk was good!

He was being very rude expecting her move to for him. I wonder if it was because she was younger than him or a woman. Either way, she was perfectly polite and he was taking the piss.

Galaxyfarfaraway · 09/03/2018 18:59

I think she was being unreasonable to not give up the seat. Would one row back really of been so bad. He was an elderly man bit a fellow student. Showing respect for elderly is just being decent surely. And would of cost her nothing.

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/03/2018 18:59

Of course she wasn't U.

He could have sat in front or behind. If He cared that much he could have got their earlier himself.

Unless you are disabled and there are no seats you can't just demand people move Confused and even then you'd ask nicely.

Graphista · 09/03/2018 18:59

"so knew where the speaker would sit, and where in the lecture theatre she needed to sit to have the best view" yet him having (not surprisingly) poorer eyesight is irrelevant?

He may also have wanted to sit in an aisle seat to visit the loo more frequently as needed or because he's no longer fit to scramble along jammed in awkward seating as many lecture halls have.

Yes she was unreasonable teach her some manners and to think and consider others!

TERFragetteCity · 09/03/2018 18:59

Being old, I often need to sit on the aisle or i am in crippling pain with not being able to stretch my legs out. I also have bad eyesight.

But hell, she got there first. Fuck anyone else. That's politics, so she is well set.

Galaxyfarfaraway · 09/03/2018 19:00

Not a fellow student.

ClumsyFool · 09/03/2018 19:00

How does she sound rude @YouTheCat? OP I think the man was being very rude and had no more right to that particular seat than your daughter. It’s not like he had no seat left to sit in, he just didn’t get to have the exact one that he wanted.

Trinity66 · 09/03/2018 19:03

No she wasn't being unreasonable or rude as someone else suggested, sounds like he was trying to guilt her into getting the best seat

Alisvolatpropiis · 09/03/2018 19:03

Terf

There was an aisle seat directly behind, completely vacant. So no reason for the op’s daughter to move.

ClumsyFool · 09/03/2018 19:03

Also to those saying the gentleman might have needed an aisle seat, it sounds as though there were other aisle seats available, the one behind where he actually sat in fact.

WorraLiberty · 09/03/2018 19:03

If she got there very early and was first in and he got there just a few minutes later, surely there must have been other seats just as suitable for him?

Or did it fill up quickly?

GummyGoddess · 09/03/2018 19:03

But @Graphista he could have an aisle seat, just not the one he wanted!

I don't think she was rude, what was the point in engaging with someone who felt entitled to that particular seat when they were surrounded by other free ones. He was probably just cross that he wasn't early enough.

CatsForgotPassword · 09/03/2018 19:04

No. There were other seats, and other aisle seats available.