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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not need so much grief? (car bump related)

223 replies

Kione · 08/03/2018 10:19

I haven't written in ages but I need some venting/discussion/support/insight from the good ol' mumsnetters.

Yesterday I bumped a car whilst reversing in the school run. A tiny thing that marked a lot for the (non)speed I was doing. I left a note, my name number. The lady called me really angry last night, I said I was keen on sorting everything quickly, I'll pay whatever, I apologised, the rest. She said she'd be in touch.

This morning she is perched at the door for 20 minutes checking cars going past. I park take kids to school and meet her at my car, she is taking pictures, demanding my insurance details there and then and telling me I am not good at driving, all in anger. I say I have a Doctors appointment (true) and can't go in there and then, and then I work in the community so can't left my service users down so I'll be in touch. She left in a huff and I am in tears at the way she spoke to me.
I have done all the right things I can think of after an error that happens to most people all the time, I will call her today to arrange a meet but I want my husband with me.
Seriously, do I deserve so much grief towards me? At the end of the day, I am going to pay!

OP posts:

Original poster

Kione · 08/03/2018 18:50

HanutaQueen I NEVER told her I didn’t want to use insurance, and didn’t leave a promise to psy in the note! I thought this was something that we needed to mutually agree.

I realise how naive I am...

OP posts:

PerfectPenquins · 08/03/2018 18:51

Forget it op, the woman had everything she needed with the first phone call. She didn’t need a policy number and she didn’t need to meet up to discuss versions! She has no bloody version she wasn’t there lol she’s mental and and an angry person it must be hard work to the keep that up all your life. She has everything don’t engage with her further.

Ollivander84 · 08/03/2018 18:51

I get what you're saying. You gave her your name and number and she had the reg of the car which is all she needs to make a claim
She doesn't need your policy number at all.
I crashed into my neighbours car and caused about 4 grand worth of damage to the two cars and there was no hassle involved
GO THROUGH THE INSURANCE though. Seriously my car rolled about 7ft when the handbrake slipped (a punto) and rolled into one of those giant things that Top Gear tried to destroy. We were both parked and not in the cars. First he tried to claim personal injury despite the statement "I was not in the car" and then claimed more, it ended up the insurance paying out over £3000. My punto had a small scratch, £50 of damage

martellandginger · 08/03/2018 18:56

take your own pics of her car - did you do that?

IWantMyHatBack · 08/03/2018 18:58

So much fuss over nothing on this thread though. The woman sounds like a headcase. You left your details OP, she didn't need anything else, you didn't need to meet her or 'make a plan'. Accidents happen, you just have to deal with it.

I've had two bumps (both times not at fault, once rear ended and one where someone shot out at a roundabout and hit me). Just took a photo of the reg number, and the damage, and rang the insurance when I got home.

Original poster

Kione · 08/03/2018 19:02

Ollivander84 oh my... did your insurance go up a lot?

OP posts:

Original poster

Kione · 08/03/2018 19:03

perfectpenquins thank you.

No, I didn’t take pictures.

OP posts:

Ollivander84 · 08/03/2018 19:03

Kione - yes a fair bit

Original poster

Kione · 08/03/2018 19:06

Thanks Iwant

Oh well, I’ll have to start saving.

OP posts:

user1497718723 · 08/03/2018 19:30

You haven't done anything wrong & if she had thought about it rather than jumping off the deep end you could have fixed it privately & avoided both premiums increasing next year. Don't worry about it - you've done everything you can!

Storminateapot · 08/03/2018 19:35

All OP is guilty of here is not wanting to go into an angry stranger's house this morning to discuss 'versions'. She gave all information that was required for the woman to be able to make a claim yesterday - all responsibilities discharged. She has admitted fault, there is no need for versions.

If the angry woman thought she needed a policy number she was wrong. Maybe those of you who are nitpicking over that need to educate yourselves on what information you need in such a situation. Policy number the only information she wasn't given and she didn't need it.

It's sorted, let the insurers do their thing. I wouldn't step into the house of a stranger who was ranting & raving at me either and I'm surprised any of you are so careless of personal safety that you think it was a reasonable demand.

Dljlr · 08/03/2018 19:36

Glad you've got it sorted op and shouldn't need to see or speak to her again.

Some of the responses you've had on here are either written by the painfully dim or wilfully unpleasant.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 08/03/2018 20:01

The only thing OP did wrong was to not include her reg on the note she left and that seems to have been an error which she remedied when she spoke to the aggrieved party. You do NOT have to give all your insurance policy numbers. All you the other person needs is your name and registration for their own insurance company who will then do the rest.

Tainbri · 09/03/2018 07:01

As everyone has said, you don't want to be dealing with her, leave it to insurance. One thing, you say she was parked and so you and then you reversed into her? We're you both legally parked in the first place? If she was on a double yellow for example, she'll be paying for you! That happened to my husband when a car pulled up next to the local shop, he didn't even see it as he was in a truck. Pit the tow hitch through the door!! bit because they were parked illegally he didn't have to pay and didn't affect his insurance.

GnotherGnu · 09/03/2018 08:11

HanutaQueen, if telephoning someone who has asked you to call them would raise your stress and anxiety levels through the roof, you would really have to think about whether you should be on the road. Driving can be an infinitely more stressful exercise than making a phone call.

SoupDragon · 09/03/2018 09:25

he didn't even see it as he was in a truck

Good job it was a car not a pedestrian. He didn’t see it because he didn’t check properly before manoeuvring.

PrimalLass · 09/03/2018 09:28

I have had various people drive into me etc over the years and unfailingly it's 50/50 as to whether they will admit fault and just get on with it or try and look 'cooperative' then do all they can to wiggle out of it

You are not meant to admit fault at the time. Insurance companies tell you not to.

Ski4130 · 09/03/2018 09:36

Don't get involved face to face with her, and inform your insurance company why. I would also tell her, if she texts/calls/tries to talk to you again, that you won't be engaging with her directly any longer due to the way she spoke to you previously. You say it's in the hands of your insurance company, if she wishes to discuss anything, she can go to them.

Redpony1 · 09/03/2018 09:41

if telephoning someone who has asked you to call them would raise your stress and anxiety levels through the roof, you would really have to think about whether you should be on the road. Driving can be an infinitely more stressful exercise than making a phone call

What utter tosh.

I HATE making phonecalls, it really worries me for no logical reason at all. However i could drive anything anywhere for hours - not comparable in the slightest. Some people have something they find causes them a high level of anxiousness, it doesn't mean they cannot preform other tasks that in someones elses opinion, causes more stress.

Tainbri · 09/03/2018 17:30

Soup it was a flat sports car pulled up on double yellow behind. He would have seen a pedestrian as he'd have used his wing mirrors and checked the pavement. Anyway, he wasn't in the wrong as he won the case!!

Original poster

Kione · 12/03/2018 16:03

Well I admitted fault because it was, and believe it or not I wanted to cause the lady the least stress possible. She was legally parked.

OP posts:

PrimalLass · 13/03/2018 08:45

It's hard not to. But AFAIK it is a condition of insurance that you don't, and could invalidate it.

heron98 · 13/03/2018 09:37

I hit a dry stone wall with my car (my fault) and dinted two of the door panels. It is going to cost 2k to fix which is more than the car is worth so we are not bothering. It's because you have to replace the entire door, plus electric windows etc. So yes, the damage might cost more than you think.

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