To not need so much grief? (car bump related)

[Kione]

I haven't written in ages but I need some venting/discussion/support/insight from the good ol' mumsnetters.

Yesterday I bumped a car whilst reversing in the school run. A tiny thing that marked a lot for the (non)speed I was doing. I left a note, my name number. The lady called me really angry last night, I said I was keen on sorting everything quickly, I'll pay whatever, I apologised, the rest. She said she'd be in touch.

This morning she is perched at the door for 20 minutes checking cars going past. I park take kids to school and meet her at my car, she is taking pictures, demanding my insurance details there and then and telling me I am not good at driving, all in anger. I say I have a Doctors appointment (true) and can't go in there and then, and then I work in the community so can't left my service users down so I'll be in touch. She left in a huff and I am in tears at the way she spoke to me.
I have done all the right things I can think of after an error that happens to most people all the time, I will call her today to arrange a meet but I want my husband with me.
Seriously, do I deserve so much grief towards me? At the end of the day, I am going to pay!

So you haven't given her your insurance and you haven't discussed repairs? I'd be upset if I were her too. Don't be surprised if you next hear from your insurance - if she got your number plate she can pass that to her insurance and they'll trace your insurers.

StaplesCorner, the cheque thing is funny!

It might have been easier.

But you didn't give her insurance details until after you started this thread unless I'm mistaken? Because your husband told you not to.

Christ OP people on here are just arguing with you for the sake of it. Ignore them, they clearly have nothing better to do!

Right this was the same confusion. The Insurance details are my name, registration, insurance company and my phone number. I gave her that. She thought she needed the policy number but jept calling it “insurance details”, so today I called my husband and he said “you gave already given her the details!” So then she acused me of refusing to give her “details”. So I wrote here and I called her insurers to work out what else she wanted, that’s when the insurers and here told me the policy number although itbis not necessary “it helps”.
My last call to her went like this:
“Mrs such, sorry to bother you again, I found out what tou were asking fir; my policy number is bla bla, I really hope we can sort this quickly for you”.

Sorry the typos, am on the phone with carpal tunnel syndrome (that was the dr appointment)

Happened yeah, so I go off shortly.

You're claiming two mutually exclusive things, OP. They can't both be true, so obviously people are arguing with you. You aren't making sense.

DropZoneOne, I have already called my insurers and informed them.

I can see why OD (other driver) was annoyed. Her car is pranged and it’s only on the third go she gets your insurance details (dr appointment, work excuses sound like you’re uninsured/ making excuses).

Plus take responsibility- sensors not working, soft door, husband away and deals with these things.

But look insurers are now dealing, you know what to do if it happens again and sorry you were upset

Eh? Whatever blastomama, you are being deliberately obtuse because a lot of people have understood it.

Aridane I gave her my details the fist time she called! Aaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh

I’m cancelling the cheque!!!!!!!

A lot of people have misunderstood it.
You're in the wrong and you know it.

It not your insurance details

Aridane yes they were. That was confirmed.
Blastomama my only wrong doing was bumping her car, the rest was confusion because I could not understant what dhe wanted which was not helped by her anger; and that is sooo patronizing.

Fucking hell, what on earth has happened to this thread?!

OP, I wouldn't bother engaging with posters who can't be bothered to read your posts properly, just ignore them

Right sure OP. You totally gave her the insurance details straight up. Despite telling us in your second post that you didn't because you weren't planning on going through insurance.
Whatever OP. Rather pointless thread.

I didn’t give her the policy number,but she had everything needed to make the claim.

IWantMyHatBack I know, its gone nuts

Sure.

Arseholes everywhere.

Gah, read the fucking thread before typing your stroppy response 🙄

“ah, see my husband and friend (that didn't witness but saw her car because it's her neighbour) say we shouldn't get insurance involved because it would only be around £200 and my insurance will go up a lot, it has been no claims until now. Because you unanimous reply I take this is not so reasonable to do and I should really go with the insurance?
Thing is my husband sorts that out and I didn't even know where to start, so I need him but he is at work right now. (so am I by the way but making phone calls for a service user)“
although my husband and friend and friend said it might be better no insurance, by this point she had already called me for first time and I had given her my name, number, etc. Everything except policy number...

Nope, read the whole thread and I still think the OP is BU even though some of that is through being badly informed (which annoys me also as if you are responsible enough to drive a car you should be responsible enough to know what to do in case of an accident).

I have had various people drive into me etc over the years and unfailingly it's 50/50 as to whether they will admit fault and just get on with it or try and look 'cooperative' then do all they can to wiggle out of it.

From her point of view she had a note on the windscreen with a number and a promise to pay. She then has to go through the inconvenience of calling you (which would raise my stress and anxiety levels through the roof right now) and hope you've left a correct number. You then don't really seem to know what details are necessary; I get that you're a bit clueless but she doesn't know you're not just trying to be vague. At that point I'd be thinking 'she is trying to get out of this and is going to deny it all when it gets to the insurers'. So yes, I can see why she wanted photos of the damage to your car. You obviously started off (from your husband's advice) saying you didn't want to go through insurers which would ring huge alarm bells with me.

I'd be thoroughly pissed off at this point in time and would not trust anything you said until I'd got an assurance from the insurers that you had admitted fault to them.

I was rear ended by a guy in a truck who admitted fault at the scene (and it's almost always your fault if you rear end someone) then tried to backtrack afterwards. I do not trust anything someone says when they have driven carelessly enough to damage me or my car.

And although I wasn’t sure if I we were going to use insurance, I gave her the details because she adked for them. I was tryingbto do the right thing and I thought using insurance or not was something we were going to discuss later. I never refused her anything.