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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell friend/bride her choice in shoes is terrible

255 replies

TheWonderfulCat · 08/03/2018 04:00

So my friend is getting married in 6 months and has just told us bridesmaids (im the MOH) that she wants us to wear converse shoes with our lovely dresses.

The shoes will look terrible with the dresses and Im dreading wearing them.

Should I say anything? And if so, what?
Or should I just suck it up?

OP posts:
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5
m0therofdragons · 08/03/2018 19:10

My friend had 11 bridesmaids in white dresses and red converse. Sooo comfy and looked very striking walking through the centre of Bath from the church to the reception. Not a bad choice at all (although wouldn't be mine).

I really hope I never have to marry again, I can't deal with pettiness like this!

Winebottle · 08/03/2018 21:30

Converse aren't cool.

No pay, no say. Even if she was paying, I would still let her know what I thought although I would be prepared to back down if she was set on it.

Puffycat · 08/03/2018 21:39

You may not like it but it’s her day, her way! Converse are cool!

Sar500 · 08/03/2018 21:53

I think it's really cheeky expecting the bridesmaids to pay for their own outfit. However for the sake of an easy life I would wear them or find something similar (and a lot cheaper) use insoles/ whatever is available to make them more comfortable and then change into something else after the photos. It just isn't worth falling out over.

TheWonderfulCat · 09/03/2018 01:37

Im married and said where whatever shoes you like, seeing as Im not buying them :)

OP posts:
TheWonderfulCat · 09/03/2018 02:05

"love for her partner" thats a laugh!
(i dont mean that in a narky way at all, just that he really emotionally abuses her and expects her to do all the cooking and cleaning. He wont even walk to the kitchen bin!)

OP posts:
FizzyDipDabs · 09/03/2018 02:56

If you really feel like that, you should decline participating in the wedding.

invitroveritas · 09/03/2018 08:39

he really emotionally abuses her and expects her to do all the cooking and cleaning

What?? As a friend (hopefully Confused) of the bride why on earth are you condoning the partner's abuse by celebrating her marriage to him?

The terrible footwear is obviously the least of the problem here...

EastDulwichWife · 09/03/2018 08:48

I hate them! They look cool, but I find them so incredibly painful. Far too narrow for big pig feet like mine.

Nimmykins · 09/03/2018 17:23

I wore gold Fit Flop trainers for my wedding. They were great. You’ll be comfy.

Saying that I didn’t provide shoes and yet let the bridesmaids whatever they wanted.

thisappisrubbish · 09/03/2018 17:26

Much more comfy than high heels but hey, I guess it's her wedding and her call. sorry but I think you just gotta suck it up

lilypoppet · 09/03/2018 17:31

Some wedding venues have floors where you can't wear heels

xkatie27x · 09/03/2018 17:35

My bridesmaids would be wearing cowboy boots - I’d be upset if one of them asked to change when everything matched!

exaltedwombat · 09/03/2018 17:39

Does there HAVE to be a uniform?

MotherOfBeagles · 09/03/2018 17:44

I wore a bear onesie as a bridesmaid at my brother and sister in laws wedding. She had 9 "bearsmaids"

Yep.

When you're a bridesmaid you smile sweetly and support the bride. Unfortunately thems the rules.

Thebluedog · 09/03/2018 17:44

Just suck it up. It’s their day and not yours. And in the grand scheme of things, one day wearing footwear you don’t like, is hardly the end of the world is it?

Have a laugh with it, giggle and enjoy the day. It’s a pair of bloody trainers ffs! Hardly a lifetime in chains is it

Roversandrhodes · 09/03/2018 17:55

I wouldn’t be pleased .I would say something in a tactful way but if she wasn’t budging I’d just go along with it .
People who wear converse to get wed make
Me cringe,Especially husband and wife matching .I just think ,grow up

lololove · 09/03/2018 18:01

I loved my converse but I walk so weirdly that they go smooth in one spot so I've stopped wearing them.

Like a few people have said though, I found them to be really quite narrow so always went a full size up - ie 8 instead of a 7 and then they were really quite comfortable.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 09/03/2018 18:01

We have to pay for our own shoes and theu have to be white.

People need to start saying no to wedding demands. She's telling you what to spend your own money on, all for the privilege of going to HER overpriced party? Fuck that.

TheDowagerCuntess · 09/03/2018 18:01

You’ll be comfy

Much more comfy than high heels

It might surprise some people, but comfort actually isn't the main priority for some people (and anyway, heels aren't necessarily uncomfortable).

'Comfort' is the reason a lot of people look ... less then optimal, shall we say. Wink

Linzbe · 09/03/2018 18:03

I wanted converse for my wedding shoes but like you OP I have wide fit so I got some of my favourite trainers (Rocket Dog Jazzin) in white and matched the laces with our colour theme. Could you do something like that?

To tell friend/bride her choice in shoes is terrible
Nomorechickens · 09/03/2018 18:04

MotherofBeagles bearsmaids ??Grin How old were you?

Michellelovesizzy · 09/03/2018 18:05

Cant u just wear them its one day... its awful i know but she is ur friend

Yved11 · 09/03/2018 18:06

The whole bridal party at my wedding wore converse with their suits and dresses. It looked amazing and would of broken my heart if someone refused to wear them. 😔

X

mrsBeverleyGoldberg · 09/03/2018 18:06

I like it. Don't say anything.