Mumsnet Vs Real life.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

Inspired by a comment on an active thread at the moment. The comment was along the lines of
"Only on mumsnet would you be advised this"

I've also seen it on a few threads where posters point out that only mumsnet would you be given this advice and never in real life.

So what advice/tips do you see mentioned on Mumsnet that you just don't think would be said in real life.

I'll start!
You can guarantee a poster will give the advice that OP needs to pack his bags and kick him out, on something really minor. They don't suggest being an adult and have a conversation first, it's straight away pack his bags and show him the door.

What other Mumsnet pearls of wisdom do we have?

Log it with 101.

Somebody over the age of 40 did a twatty thing. Could they have dementia??

'I wouldn't call £40k a year a decent wage.'

(get your head out of your arse - you may want more money or not be able to countenance life without a cleaner, but you can at least have the basic decency to acknowledge that most people live on substantially less and that would be a dream salary)

'Why wouldn't you do something kind for your DCs?'

(asked in a plaintive tone (admittedly in my head) as if life must be sacrificed upon the altar of motherhood)

Adult of any age doing a twatty thing - is there mental health issues?

Being selfish, self centred or just disagreeable is certified Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Sending an email / letter to people you could easily talk to instead dh, best friend etc

You drink more than the recommended units in a week, you're obviously a raging alcoholic and drink dependent. The majority of Mumsnet only has a shandy on Christmas Day.

“Take in ironing” if anyone states they are short on cash or living on the poverty line

You can 'just get a credit card' when you're in dire financial straits. And you must have something you can flog on eBay.

The SEN thing is huge on MN. On any other board or in RL I have never "met" as many people that have children with additional needs or suggest it if someone posts about their child's behaviour.

That you should describe the miracle of reproduction from start to finish using anatomically correct names for all body parts and that children should have a deep scientific knowledge of this by around the same time as they can recite their ABCs...

Throwing food out bang on its use by date without first checking if it's still ok to eat.

That surely everyone must be able to afford £25.

Had a minor argument? LTB
Let your hungover husband look after the kids and have a spa day.

Instead of confronting 'DH' about the possibility of an affair you must 'get your ducks in a row' and find valuable evidence before just asking outright. Make sure you have money and your passport... I don't really know what people think will happen to need a passport!

Make a chicken last a week easily!

Have at least 3 month salary in savings - obviously it would be nice to have this but it seems unfathomable to some that people really cannot afford it - hence taking in ironing

I don't really know what people think will happen to need a passport! Opening a new bank account, or doing anything where they want id.

That inviting people to "just" the evening of a wedding is horribly bad form. Maybe it's a regional thing but everyone I know doesn't bat an eyelid unless you're close family

Thankfully i don’t know anyone in real life who is like most of the people on mumsnet. I imagine a lot of Mumsnetters to have doilies and specific pen they use for writing letters of complaint.

People would not be at all disappointed if their kids became strippers or worked on the bins but would disown them if they became a banker or a Tory MP.

Husband being a dick? Spa day
Kids playing up? Spa day
Waitrose out of artichoke hearts? Spa day
Leg fallen off? Spa day
Meteorite crushed your house? Spa day