Mumsnet Vs Real life.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

Inspired by a comment on an active thread at the moment. The comment was along the lines of
"Only on mumsnet would you be advised this"

I've also seen it on a few threads where posters point out that only mumsnet would you be given this advice and never in real life.

So what advice/tips do you see mentioned on Mumsnet that you just don't think would be said in real life.

I'll start!
You can guarantee a poster will give the advice that OP needs to pack his bags and kick him out, on something really minor. They don't suggest being an adult and have a conversation first, it's straight away pack his bags and show him the door.

What other Mumsnet pearls of wisdom do we have?

If you say 'I don't have anyone who could look after my child at short notice'

It's all 'surely there's someone? A neighbour? A cousin? Your mate? The nice lady from the post office? You're being quite defeatist OP'

If you have separate finances you're heading for the divorce courts, there's only "family money".

Spa closed, what now iklboo?

13 year olds getting £50 per week pocket money and "how can they afford to do anything with less?"

"He/she/they are not your friend" .
Most of the major friendship dramas. I don't know anyone in real life who falls out and cuts people out of their life for the kidn of minor infringements that would get you excommunicated on here.

All meals are homecooked from vegetables grown in your own garden and sometimes your own chickens. Ready meals are industrial slurry and baked potatos or something on toast for supper is a crime against nutrition and child wellbeing.

However also supreme kindness, support and solidarity with strangers.

Cheese and toilet brushes are of the devil.

Upset poster moans that her Dc dad didnt organise a mothers day

Mumsnet well you are not his mother are you

Real life that's a shame he could have got you a card

That you are a special snowflake if you use parent and child parking even if you have three kids, one of which is a baby and just had a Caesarian section. You must not be disgruntled in anyway if the last space is taken by a young looking man on his own in a sports car, as he may have a hidden disability.

That everyone loves a parking thread and if someone congratulates the op on her diagram they are hilarious.

When you are short of money for something - can't you just dip into savings? . Ffs, if you're struggling to afford something you probably don't have any savings to dip into.

That if you say gender instead of sex it is akin to standing in the middle of the town square shouting “I hate all women!! Hail the patriarchy!!”

Mumsnet: my child is good at maths, how do I access a gifted child programme?
Real life : my child is good at maths, so I bought him a Suduku book.

People can get very shirty about adults celebrating their birthday on MN

Calling all male behavior is abusive, for example if someone's DH is abusive snapped when he shouldn't after a long hard day.

I even saw someone calling a DH abusive because he raised concern about her drinking everyday rather than considering the possibility that the OP drank so much.

That you should 'confront' people and 'have it out with them' (despite the majority demographic on here being fairly middle-class, a lot of people seem to favour the screaming-in-the-street type of conflict resolution).

That anyone who wants more out of life than monogamy, childcare and domestic work is 'immature'.

That you have to invite the horrible bully who has been terrorizing your child to their Birthday party incase they feel left out if they are the only one not invited.

Men should work 60 hours a week, do 50% of housework and childcare, and have no hobbies.

Somebody over the age of 40 did a twatty thing. Could they have dementia??

Yes it always makes me laugh when someone says this.

Also if someone is skint - become a cleaner or a childminder. Yes, because it's that straightforward.

That you can re-train for a new career whenever you fancy

Only on mumsnet do you see the perennial threads claiming that ltb advice is routinely given out for minor, easily resolved issues.

'If you had flu you would not be typing on mumsnet. When I had the flu DH was nearly on the phone to the undertakers, no way could I have looked at my phone'

Anyone who's a bit of a selfish knob is instantly diagnosed as having narcissistic personality disorder.

There's no such thing as a picky eater, adult or child - they must have sensory issues.

All mothers-in-law are evil.
Mother upset you? Go NC.
It's all about your little family unit from the start.
Any woman over about 50 is old and horrible.