Mumsnet Vs Real life.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

Inspired by a comment on an active thread at the moment. The comment was along the lines of
"Only on mumsnet would you be advised this"

I've also seen it on a few threads where posters point out that only mumsnet would you be given this advice and never in real life.

So what advice/tips do you see mentioned on Mumsnet that you just don't think would be said in real life.

I'll start!
You can guarantee a poster will give the advice that OP needs to pack his bags and kick him out, on something really minor. They don't suggest being an adult and have a conversation first, it's straight away pack his bags and show him the door.

What other Mumsnet pearls of wisdom do we have?

expatinscotland
you know nothing about being an au-pair, do you.

I am loving the it's-not-posh-to-have-an-au-pair detour this thread has taken. That's an only on mumsnet for me.

I've known people who've done this kind of work but nobody who's hired an au pair or nanny.

Live in help and a spare room to house them in?! Sweet.

My dh earns shed more than me, I hated work and enjoy just being a financially kept woman. Can you still be a sahm when the kids are grown up?

Mumsnet
he will leave you financially destitute and you are very vulnerable. Surely you must be bored and feel unforfilled not working 60 hours a week as a nursing sister?

Me. Nope it’s fucking great

"I cant pay the rent this month because of a series of unforseen circumstances. I had previously put 10k into my kids college fund when I was a bit more flush. WIBU to borrow from that until I get back on my feet?"

MN "that is STEALING from your child! Its not your money its their money (even though you put it there) you are the lowest of the low for even THINKING of touching it even if you pay it back. Without a college fund your kids life is ruined before its begun"

RL "fuck yeah you do what you gotta do to keep a roof over your kids head. Food and shelter trumps college fund. Sort the essentials now, worry about the extras later. my kids dont have a college fund either but so long as theyre fed & happy & supported Im sure theyll do fine, dont give it a second thought!"

Of course not, cockroach, I am completely ignorant, me. Never worked as one, knew anyone who worked as one, travelled anywhere. That's definitely true of anyone who disagrees with you, naturally, they just aren't as expert as you .

Suggesting you leave your long term partner as they didn’t make you a cup of tea this morning.

moofolk
My friend works as a cashier in a supermarket, her husband is a firefighter, they have an au-pair, they will be delighted to be called posh.

Another friend is a nurse, he is a paramedic, another posh couple with an au-pair!

In RL, only people working shifts who can't rely on a child minder because of their weird hours!

@dandellion

It came as a total shock to me that DH and I couldn't possibly be genuinely in love with each other when we married because we had quite an expensive wedding at an expensive venue.

Stealth brag?'

Well, you and your DH may be 'in love with each other,' but it's a well documented fact that the more you spend on your wedding, the more likely you are to divorce fairly quickly.

There are sources for this everywhere. Too many to list.

Just google "people who spend more on the wedding are more likely to split."

I literally know of SIX couples who spent copious amounts on their wedding, (£20,000-£25,000 plus, including a 2 or 3 grand wedding dress,) who split between one and four years after the wedding day. And the 7 or 8 couples I know who spent just £1000 to £2000 on the entire wedding, (and had a £100 wedding dress,) are still married after fifteen to twenty three years.

I literally LOATHE showy, expensive, OTT weddings, with 2 grand dresses, 7 to 10 bridesmaids, and 7 course meals at some wanky 5 star hotel that serves seaweed soup for the starter. And they always have about 300 guests; 250 who the bride and groom barely even know. It's just all for show and they are clearly just trying to prove something.

My friend works as a cashier in a supermarket, her husband is a firefighter, they have an au-pair, they will be delighted to be called posh

Having an au pair is a posh thing to do. But alone, it does not make somebody posh without other factors.

I go to a lot of classical concerts and grew up playing in an orchestra, some would call that posh (parents had the money for lessons and an instrument and the time and transport to get me to rehearsals and the spare cash for a concert outfit) yet as a whole I'm incredibly far from posh!

On another thread an OP who was struggling with her toddler and couldn't even afford to live with her partner as she would lose benefits, was advised to "get a live in nanny".

Oh how I lol'ed

It may be that fewer and fewer young people want to be treated like an indentured servant for a few scraps from the master's table. Well I worked as one in France and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I also had an au pair and she was just that 'au pair'. Such a bitter comment

A man becomes uncertain about having kids/more kids.

MN: He is completely unreasonable, he has lead you on all of these years, just to marry you and have maid, he is abusive, massive red flag. He should have told you THE DAY YOU MET how he felt about having children.

Real life: people change their minds.

redandsilver I think you are confusing me with someone who gives a toss about your opinion?

Yes, our wedding was relatively expensive but it certainly wasn't showy or OTT and we just had family and close friends.

Still very happily together after 25 years, thank you.

people who never, ever ring in sick ever.
op "I have a fever, been sick and a raging sore throat but we are understaffed."
followed by dozens of people saying to take ibruprofen and paracetemol and they will feel better when they get there.
in my normality, if people are ill they take a day off and are frowned on if they come in and spread illness

Oh, and you have to stay at home if you have a mere sniffle to satisfy germophobes.

OP: my DD (17) is completely out of control. Smoking weed, drinking, staying out, does nothing around the house. What should I do?
MN: change the Wi-Fi password.
RL: kick her arse into next week.

the whole russell group uni malarkey and mumsnet obsession with same.
in real life most kids go to other unis/dont go to uni and manage to have perfectly decent careers and lives

redandsilver
bitter much?

MN: everybody survives on £20 a week
RL: some people have more money than others

Just catching up on this thread and the last few posts have me confused .

We had a super cheap wedding, well under 2k so that means I’m stuck with him for life?
OR
I’m a kept woman, he goes out and earns the money and I’m quite happy not working and just pottering around, so he’s going to leave me destitute?

Which one is it? Asaggghhh MN is messing with my mind

Having an au pair is always a bit posh in that it usually involves having a big enough home to put one up

@Sluttybutty what the fuck are you blathering on about. You are literally making NO sense.

@cucaracha

No not bitter, just pointing out FACTS hun. You keep telling yourself I am bitter though if it makes you feel better.

@dandellion

redandsilver I think you are confusing me with someone who gives a toss about your opinion?

Bit touchy aren't you?

Didn't say you had to give a toss about anything did I hun?

Just posting facts, that people who have a ludicrous showy expensive wedding, (trying to prove how much better they are than people who spend very little,) are more likely to split sooner. That is a FACT.

How lovely for you that you have been married 25 years, you are obviously the exception to the rule. Woo hoo.

@redandsilver are you deliberately trying to annoy people with your comments? I was joking btw, which is actually the whole point of the entire thread, humour

MN: If you don’t provide a free bar at your wedding you are a terrible, entitled rude person to expect your guests to a) attend your wedding in the first place and b) pay for their own drinks when they have spent their life savings on a new outfit, travel, accommodation and a gift.

RL: Every single wedding I have been to has had wine provided on the tables, champagne for a toast, welcome drink, but no free bar.

redandsilver
We spent around £18k nearly 20 years ago on a wedding ABROAD and we 're still going strong. I can't think of many people who spent that much less, and only a couple are divorced so far.

You are missing the point that weddings are not to prove a point one way or another, but having a lovely day with friends and families, and it adds up. Charles and Diana have divorced though, and I am guessing their wedding wasn't that cheap, so there, you are right

You sound bitter because you care so much about the amount others have spent on their big day. Why do you care so much? We are saving to help our kids pay for theirs if they wish, maybe we should set money aside for their divorce lawyer?

I love how having a bit of disposable income makes you "rich" on MN

To be fair, charging your guests for drink seems to be a UK thing, I have seen a couple of weddings like that in this country, but never seen a wedding without free drinks abroad and people don't seem to know the concept. I am sure it also applies to some other countries, but it's not worldwide thing.

It sounds as strange as charging your guests for wine when you invite them for dinner.