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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mumsnet Vs Real life.

999 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 06/03/2018 11:44

Inspired by a comment on an active thread at the moment. The comment was along the lines of
"Only on mumsnet would you be advised this"

I've also seen it on a few threads where posters point out that only mumsnet would you be given this advice and never in real life.

So what advice/tips do you see mentioned on Mumsnet that you just don't think would be said in real life.

I'll start!
You can guarantee a poster will give the advice that OP needs to pack his bags and kick him out, on something really minor. They don't suggest being an adult and have a conversation first, it's straight away pack his bags and show him the door.

What other Mumsnet pearls of wisdom do we have?

OP posts:
TomorrowBeckons · 13/03/2018 16:17

If your dc is not predicted all A’s at A’level, they are a low achieverand you schooldays just scrap their A’level study altogether.

If they aim for a non RG, they will never be employed.

In real life, dc gets 3 C’s (average results),goes to a non RG university with great links to industry. Dc does lovely rewarding course with a great placement. Gets good job upon graduation.

minipie · 13/03/2018 16:22

MN: You must never ever take any risk ever, even if tiny, with your DC's safety or THEY WILL DIE

RL: Weighs up the pros and cons and happily takes a few risks if they see fit eg glass of wine when pregnant, baby in own room from 3 months, forward facing car seats

Dandellion · 13/03/2018 16:24

Oh dear, you lost me at 'hun'. Can't possibly take you seriously now.

PeterPiperPickedSeaShells · 13/03/2018 16:26

On MN the pleural on anecdote is data - "x" happened to me, therefore whoever says "y" is wrong

TomorrowBeckons · 13/03/2018 16:51

Sorry bout all the typos.

LimonViola · 13/03/2018 16:58

people who never, ever ring in sick ever.
op "I have a fever, been sick and a raging sore throat but we are understaffed."
followed by dozens of people saying to take ibruprofen and paracetemol and they will feel better when they get there.
in my normality, if people are ill they take a day off and are frowned on if they come in and spread illness

See, that is a perfect example of someone with privilege that doesn't know it.

May be typical in your world to call in sick when ill. In every single non professional job I've ever had (factory, retail, waitressing, pizza delivery, checkouts) you don't call in sick as doing so would risk you your job. Even more so in precarious zero hour jobs.

If you've never experienced the crushing fear of ringing in sick and being guilt tripped or shouted at by your boss insisting you go in you're extremely privileged and out of touch with literally hundreds of thousands of workers who live in fear of losing their NMW often zero hour job that pays pittance, treats them with no respect or autonomy but they can't afford to lose.

Only since qualifying in a profession have I experienced jobs where I ring in sick and they say 'no worries thanks for letting us know, get well soon!'. On NMW you just don't. You go in with sickness and diarrhoea to a food service shop because you can't afford to not pay your rent cos you don't get sick pay and will have your hours docked next week.

PoorYorick · 13/03/2018 17:36

I literally LOATHE showy, expensive, OTT weddings, with 2 grand dresses, 7 to 10 bridesmaids, and 7 course meals at some wanky 5 star hotel that serves seaweed soup for the starter. And they always have about 300 guests; 250 who the bride and groom barely even know. It's just all for show and they are clearly just trying to prove something.

This is all about you seeing things as you are, not as they are. I've rarely seen a better example.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 13/03/2018 17:42

yorick, I think it’s quite clear there’s actually more than a little bit of jealousy going on with that poster...

PoorYorick · 13/03/2018 17:51

Yeah, I agree. Another MN thing, you must hate any wedding that wasn't conducted for a fiver in a kebab shop.

I've been to cheap weddings and expensive weddings and I love em. People I like being happy, chance to get dressed up and have a free meal, wine and dancing. What on earth is not to like? The only times I've hated weddings were when my own life was in the shitter and even then I knew the problem was with me.

Also, sometimes - just sometimes - you get what you pay for in terms of quality.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 13/03/2018 17:54

Yes, and the bride has to wear a dish rag from Lidl’s. If she gets one from Sainsbury’s she’s up her self with ideas above her station. Oh, and a kebab shop is unthinkable luxury. It should be in a public toilet. In Penge.

PoorYorick · 13/03/2018 18:00

And maybe hire someone to punch all the guests in the face as they come in. After all, you really want to make sure that nobody has any fun.

I once worked briefly in events management so I do notice certain details and admire the thought that went into them. In my experience, if there really is a lot of attention to detail and co ordination, it's usually because the bride is something like a graphic or interior designer and she's just good at aesthetics and likes to do that sort of thing.

I don't really know why so many people are determined that people who have the means for a more expensive wedding and choose to do so must be punished with divorce. If they can't afford it, they'll be punished enough financially, what more do people want?

I wish MN would channel its anti consumerist/capitalist ire away from weddings and greetings cards and more towards blood diamonds, cheap sweatshop clothing and animal testing.

LeighaJ · 13/03/2018 18:01

Eltonjohnssyrup

"It should be in a public toilet."

One where the groom will need to self identify as a woman to go in with his bride? Or basic family toilet? Grin

NerrSnerr · 13/03/2018 18:02

Don't forget it's an invitation not a summons Grin

Eltonjohnssyrup · 13/03/2018 18:06

Oh yes. And it’s absolutely fine for guests to turn up in either a wedding dress or full mourning or in nipple tassels and a thong if they feel like it. With their non-wedding party children dressed as bridesmaids and page boys. You can wear whatever you like.

DalekDalekDalek · 13/03/2018 18:06

I literally LOATHE showy, expensive, OTT weddings, with 2 grand dresses, 7 to 10 bridesmaids, and 7 course meals at some wanky 5 star hotel that serves seaweed soup for the starter. And they always have about 300 guests; 250 who the bride and groom barely even know. It's just all for show and they are clearly just trying to prove something.

Honestly redandsilver with an attitude like that the bride and groom would probably prefer it if you hadn't attended. You sound like a miserable git!

minipie · 13/03/2018 18:07

Oh yes!

MN: it's an invitation not a summons, if you don't want to go don't go

RL: Not that simple, the inviter's feelings will be hurt if we don't go

LeighaJ · 13/03/2018 18:11

"RL: Not that simple, the inviter's feelings will be hurt if we don't go"

Then they'll come on MN for advice over hurt feelings and be advised to go "NC"

iTonya · 13/03/2018 18:14

MN: I've been asked to be a bridesmaid and the bride wants me to commit to a week-long hen do, a separate spa weekend, a bridal shower and to building the Taj Mahal out of cocktail sticks on the day. She also wants me to be a size 10 by May. What should I say?

RL; friend asks you to be a bridesmaid, you go to one weekend in a cottage in Derbyshire with her college friends who are... fine, and agree to wear a dress from Monsoon that itches. You have a nice time.

SneakyGremlins · 13/03/2018 18:14

We need a second thread!

cucaracha · 13/03/2018 18:15

I doubt it really happens in RL, but if you really would have to sell your house and a kidney to attend a wedding, it would be fine to decline.

In RL, it would be fine to wear a nice outfit you already have, travel cheaply and have a lovely time.

wakemeupbefore · 13/03/2018 18:18

minipie , putting your DC in forward facing car seats when shouldn't, is not 'taking few risks'. Its just very, very stupid and irresponsible. Hmm

wakemeupbefore · 13/03/2018 18:21

MN: it's an invitation not a summons, if you don't want to go don't go

RL: Not that simple, the inviter's feelings will be hurt if we don't go

Not at all, were one to decline politely and early.

I literally LOATHE showy, expensive, OTT weddings, with 2 grand dresses, 7 to 10 bridesmaids, and 7 course meals at some wanky 5 star hotel that serves seaweed soup for the starter. And they always have about 300 guests; 250 who the bride and groom barely even know. It's just all for show and they are clearly just trying to prove something.

^^

Yes with a cherry on top. Ghastly affairs such 'shows'; unless the couple is very high-flying and families are expected to invite all that matter, then it's understandable but never enjoyable.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 13/03/2018 18:26

Yes with a cherry on top. Ghastly affairs such 'shows'; unless the couple is very high-flying and families are expected to invite all that matter, then it's understandable but never enjoyable.

Again, that says more about you. If I get to wear a nice frock, have a free meal and get pissed with my mates I usually have a great time, regardless of if they’ve spent a tenner or £10,000 quid on it. And when someone has been kind enough to invite you to celebrate something so special with them, it’s unkind to judge.

Monoblock67 · 13/03/2018 18:27

Wow.

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