Mumsnet Vs Real life.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

Inspired by a comment on an active thread at the moment. The comment was along the lines of
"Only on mumsnet would you be advised this"

I've also seen it on a few threads where posters point out that only mumsnet would you be given this advice and never in real life.

So what advice/tips do you see mentioned on Mumsnet that you just don't think would be said in real life.

I'll start!
You can guarantee a poster will give the advice that OP needs to pack his bags and kick him out, on something really minor. They don't suggest being an adult and have a conversation first, it's straight away pack his bags and show him the door.

What other Mumsnet pearls of wisdom do we have?

@SneakyGremlins - why, take yourself off shopping / meet friends for lunch / take up yoga of course!

Oh dear god the vulva thing!!

Wtf!!!

Oh and any mental health issue excuses you from acting like a dick. (Hint - it doesn't)

The over abundance of narcissists! It’s actually a fairly rare diagnosis.

Oh yes, any thread where an OP is wondering how their neighbour, who doesn't work and claims benefits, can afford a new Range Rover and 3 yearly holidays to the Caribbean is met with:
"Jealous much?"
"It's absolutely none of your business"
"Keep your beak out"
"I bet you read the DM"
Etc etc.

@NotTakenUsername I wasn't referring to a specific thread.

That the day your dcs turn 18 they should be able to do absolutely everything by themselves and how dare you try to help

(this thread is a bit similar to the Mumsnet Myths one)

No one in real life is ever offended by a tout for cash as a wedding gift, they're all fine with it in real life and hand it over, and if you're in Ireland, everyone hands over 100+ euros/person. They must all be fucking minted there.

If you suggest the op might be contributing to the issue you are victim blaming

"To be honest, it sounds like you/he/she has mental health issues and you need to go to the GP to get help asap"

Except there is often little to no help as there is currently a mental health provision crisis and even if you are offered something it might not be the help that you need.

"You should leave him asap. I've just looked it up and it says you are entitled to housing benefit"

Except housing benefit rarely covers the rent any more, 99% of private landlords don't accept housing benefit and even if you find one that does you will need a deposit and at least a months rent in advance even though housing benefit is paid two weeks in arrears. Oh, and there is very little if any social housing in many areas. But apparently we have a 'very generous welfare state'.

People hate weddings and inviting someone to your wedding is a big imposition on the invitee.

Only the very greedy could possibly average more than 1,600 calories a day.

In real life, I hear people saying things like 'that's nuts!', 'mental!' 'Insane' etc. pretty frequently.

But if something says something like that on MN they are accused of using disablist language. I understand their point but I literally only ever see this on MN.

And regarding A and E there is always an assumption that every town has a minor injury unit so up will say my fingers hanging off as a
I chopped through whilst slicing carrot batons should I go to A and E , can you not go to a minor injury unity ( we dont have one and im not sure where there is one

Groups of friends at the school gates are invariably bitchy cliques to be ignored and scorned on mumsnet. Rather than, you know, just friends chewing the fat for five minutes after dropping off their children.

Only on mumsnet will the argument continue 36 hours after the last post from the OP

"It sounds like you/she has PTSD"

No, it sounds like you/she had a very upsetting experience and is having a perfectly normal reaction which doesn't involve flashbacks of threat to life, numbing, nightmares, primary dissociation, hyperarousal....you get the picture.....

MajestyRoyale
Where do you live?
Baby carriers are everywhere in the south east

Grapes are some kind of syrupy decadent treat which will rot children's teeth.

Somebody over the age of 40 did a twatty thing. Could they have dementia??

This. I don't know if we have a particularly young contingent now but my god, they seem to think that 40 is practically dead rather than actually y'know, young.

In RL no one would say "vulva" instead of "vagina".

Go for a spa day. Get a cleaner.

Bringing your child up as Vegetarian is up there with neglect / abuse according to some on here. Only ever heard that on MN

Get a cleaner