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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be NEVER speak to SIL again?

410 replies

MadSister1818 · 03/03/2018 18:04

DB and SIL came to stay with their 2 DCs 5 and 2.

After they had gone, I noticed my old bear was missing. Looked high and lo but nothing.

Spoke to DB earlier and asked about my bear. Turns out the 5yo had taken a shine to it and asked SIL if she could take it. SIL SAID YES!!!

To make it worse, she only went and bloody lost it on the way home Sad

I’ve had this bear since I was a baby. It was my most trusted companion and confidant throughout my childhood. DB knows this. But he was laughing whilst being apologetic about the whole thing.

I know I’m overreacting and it was just an accident but I am SO upset.

AIBU to never speak to SIL again? (Obviously I will through gritted teeth but right now I feel like having a full on tantrum).

OP posts:
SpringHen · 03/03/2018 18:06

Was it left out on the guest bed like a gift/guest toy?

I leave little gifts for guests in the guest room. Nothing prescious is there for use

Samcro · 03/03/2018 18:07

I would seriously never speak to her again
Who does that?
I still love my teddy... i am now wondering where he is

WednesdaySpinner · 03/03/2018 18:07

Angry YANBU, can’t believe she thought it was ok to just take it without even asking you

iammargesimpson · 03/03/2018 18:07

She should have asked you but at the end of the day it is a soft toy.....so if it were me I would let it go and just put away anything else precious like that next time they visit.

SleepingInNewYork · 03/03/2018 18:08

YANBU —and it is probably easier to ignore her if you bury her under the patio—

WednesdaySpinner · 03/03/2018 18:08

@samcro I am also wondering the same thing about mine now....

Nicknacky · 03/03/2018 18:09

Totally not unreasonable to be angry. You don’t take things from peoples houses just because your kid wants them!

Any chance it will turn up? Or any chance she is lying about losing it?

macbethh · 03/03/2018 18:09

Never speak to her again

FrancisUnderwood · 03/03/2018 18:09

I'd be questioning whether it really was 'lost'.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 03/03/2018 18:10

Who the fuck just takes things?

What did your DH say? Does he know how upset you are? I would be telling them in no uncertain terms how pissed off I am. And possibly send them out to find it

PhelanThePain · 03/03/2018 18:10

Right well they need to be retracing their steps, contacting everywhere they stopped on the way home. Searching all their cases. Has she even apologised??

FabulouslyFab · 03/03/2018 18:10

Oh my days I would be fuming! How selfish. YANBU! x

ivykaty44 · 03/03/2018 18:11

How did they lose it? Ffs is she completely incompetent? Or just stupid?

Swearwolf · 03/03/2018 18:12

Do they know how angry you are? I'd tell them they need to find it!!!

SleepingInNewYork · 03/03/2018 18:12

In fact, now I think about it I would be so annoyed I would telling her to go out and find it or else I’d report her to the police for theft. I wouldn’t, as that would be a waste of police time, but it would hopefully make them think twice and realise they are thieves.

Original poster
MadSister1818 · 03/03/2018 18:12

I doubt DB would lie about losing it. I think he’s actually very embarrassed by the whole thing especially as he knows how much I loved my bear growing up.

Argh! I am seriously considering @SleepingInNewYork’s suggestion Angry

OP posts:
LexieLulu · 03/03/2018 18:13

Have you got a picture of it? Post on local FB pages?

NorthernKnickers · 03/03/2018 18:13

Oh my god I'd be devastated...truly!! I still have my battered old bear (it's 50+ years old!!) and he sits on a shelf in my guest bedroom. It would never occur to me that someone would actually steal him!! He is clearly a very old bear...worn out, ripped ear, no eyes 😢 and obviously 'well loved'. Nobody in their right mind would think 'oh that's of no value to anyone, let's steal him' 😮 EVERYONE KNOWS A TEDDY BEAR IS PRECIOUS!!! I'm so very sorry for you OP, I really really hope yours is found. Your brother needs to go out and search!!

MotherofTerriers · 03/03/2018 18:14

Try to find him. Do you have a photo? Maybe post it on facebook asking if anyone in the areas they were travelling through have seen it. How were they travelling? Do they have any idea where he was lost? Worth trying railway lost property etc

BarbarianMum · 03/03/2018 18:14

They stole something precious to you and lost it? I would be fucking fuming and it would be a long time cold day in hell before they crossed my threshold again. And your dh thinks this is a laugh?

Thehogfather · 03/03/2018 18:14

Yanbu. Doesn't matter if it was a £3 toy you got in asda especially for their visit, you don't teach dc they can just help themselves to other peoples property if you fancy it. Let alone when you know it has sentimental value.

Don't fall out, just visit and take something expensive they value home with you. When they notice and phone you, just laughingly apologise and explain that your dc/ cat/ goldfish took a liking to their car so you said they could have it

UnderslungBowlingBall · 03/03/2018 18:14

YANBU, but like others have said I'd be questioning if he is actually lost.

BarbarianMum · 03/03/2018 18:15

Oh apologies, it was your db not your dh who thought it funny.

Nicknacky · 03/03/2018 18:15

I would be beyond furious if my h did this, what kinda person takes an item from a house without even mentioning it to the owner? We have his childhood frog on his bedside table, the sentimental value is irreplaceable.

Thelampshadelady · 03/03/2018 18:15

YANBU. I’d be mad. I didn’t really have a teddy I loved that much but dsis did/does and after all these years it would be wrong for him to vanish.