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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be NEVER speak to SIL again?

410 replies

MadSister1818 · 03/03/2018 18:04

DB and SIL came to stay with their 2 DCs 5 and 2.

After they had gone, I noticed my old bear was missing. Looked high and lo but nothing.

Spoke to DB earlier and asked about my bear. Turns out the 5yo had taken a shine to it and asked SIL if she could take it. SIL SAID YES!!!

To make it worse, she only went and bloody lost it on the way home Sad

I’ve had this bear since I was a baby. It was my most trusted companion and confidant throughout my childhood. DB knows this. But he was laughing whilst being apologetic about the whole thing.

I know I’m overreacting and it was just an accident but I am SO upset.

AIBU to never speak to SIL again? (Obviously I will through gritted teeth but right now I feel like having a full on tantrum).

OP posts:
LittleMyLikesSnuffkin · 03/03/2018 18:15

Oh god how upsetting! I still have some of my teddies from my childhood and yes they’re “only soft toys” but they’re mine and they meant the world to me when I was little. I let my children play with them but they don’t leave the house.

And don’t be so sure the bear is “lost”. Wankers.

LadyChatterlysLoofah · 03/03/2018 18:16

This may be an instance where social media could actually help? Appeals for its return on facebook, twitter, etc. Ask everyone to share widely....

NorthernKnickers · 03/03/2018 18:16

@BarbarianMum DH wasn't laughing. It was OP's brother who found it funny.

NorthernKnickers · 03/03/2018 18:16

Haha...cross post x

Aprilmightmemynewname · 03/03/2018 18:17

Bury her under your patio and leave her arse sticking out. Your dc will always have somewhere to park their bikes.
Grin
I would never speak to her again. Seriously.
And your db needs to grown a pair.

BrieAndChilli · 03/03/2018 18:17

It doesn’t matter what it is or the cost, doesn’t matter if it was an iPad or a ‘tatty’ teddy, it wasn’t theirs to take. I would be fuming and would not let them come over again as they can’t be trusted to steal from you. They need to know how upset you are

Perendinate · 03/03/2018 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frasier · 03/03/2018 18:18

We had similar OP. SIL took it (DH’s) for her child and when we asked for her to bring it back next time she was coming, it had gone TO THE TIP.

DH was upset and was upset all over again years later when we had DC. It’s theft. DH doesn’t speak to his sister at all now but there were many other things, not just this, but all stemming from SIL is a selfish cow.

Snowysky20009 · 03/03/2018 18:19

I don't have a trusted ted. However both ds have theirs still (14 & 18) and if anyone took them I would be so annoyed/upset/pissed off

flumpybear · 03/03/2018 18:19

Tell her to retrace her steps and find the fucking bear or it's war!

I'd be really upset and fucking cheeky cow for assuming she can give your property away !! Angry

Whitecurrants · 03/03/2018 18:19

I would be beside myself and would demand that they do absolutely everything possible to find it. What a twat.

PhelanThePain · 03/03/2018 18:20

Definitely get on FB twitter etc and share like mad in all the local selling pages etc.

iammargesimpson · 03/03/2018 18:20

Please don't threaten her with calling the police have you any idea how ridiculous you will sound?! Have you explained to her that it was your childhood bear and could they retrace their steps? I wouldn't do or say anything until I've calmed down tbh, you don't want to create a rift between you and your db.

AuntFidgetWonkhamStrongNajork · 03/03/2018 18:20

What efforts have they made to find the lost bear?

gillybeanz · 03/03/2018 18:20

your brother is a twat of the highest order, he knew what the bear meant to you.
Sil has done nothing wrong.

LauraO1905 · 03/03/2018 18:21

I think YABU to say you will never talk to her again. What she did was way out of order and I can definitely understand how upset you are. However, if you decide never to talk to your SIL again you risk harming your relationship with your DB.

Perhaps wait a while to cool off and then when you next see her explain how angry and upset you are and ask that she never takes anything from your house again!

inniu · 03/03/2018 18:21

I would text your brother and SIL and say "go out and find my bear. Retrace your steps, search everywhere. What you have done is not acceptable. I am very upset"

Whitecurrants · 03/03/2018 18:22

I wouldn't wait to calm down because the quicker they start looking for it the more chance of finding it

gillybeanz · 03/03/2018 18:22

Oh, just reread, sil twat also.
They deserve each other.

Namechangetempissue · 03/03/2018 18:22

I would be absolutely furious! SIL stole a precious item from your home and lost it AND they find it funny? Bastards. I would lose my shit and they would never be allowed in my house again. If they were genuinely contrite and helped to find the bear it might be forgivable, but to laugh?! Fuck you.

WineGummyBear · 03/03/2018 18:23

YANBU.

Who steals an object because they cannot say no to a 5 yr old?

frasier · 03/03/2018 18:23

If it were a stranger, someone who had come to fix the washing machine, what would you do?

AJPTaylor · 03/03/2018 18:24

i would kill her. slowly and painfully.

ilovekitkats · 03/03/2018 18:24

your SIL is out of order taking the bear.

I still have my bear, it’s now 40yo and DD sleeps with it every night. We would both be very upset if the bear got lost.

I would definitely get an appeal going on social media to find it.

Original poster
MadSister1818 · 03/03/2018 18:24

Unfortunately no photo but I’m going to ask my DM if she can find any of me as a kid with my bear.

In my more rational mind, I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding on my SIL’s part. She probably wasn’t thinking straight and thought it was OK in the moment to borrow my bear rather than face a meltdown, and then return it later. But, fuck, it’s taking me all of my self control not to phone her to scream at her!

OP posts: