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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be NEVER speak to SIL again?

410 replies

MadSister1818 · 03/03/2018 18:04

DB and SIL came to stay with their 2 DCs 5 and 2.

After they had gone, I noticed my old bear was missing. Looked high and lo but nothing.

Spoke to DB earlier and asked about my bear. Turns out the 5yo had taken a shine to it and asked SIL if she could take it. SIL SAID YES!!!

To make it worse, she only went and bloody lost it on the way home Sad

I’ve had this bear since I was a baby. It was my most trusted companion and confidant throughout my childhood. DB knows this. But he was laughing whilst being apologetic about the whole thing.

I know I’m overreacting and it was just an accident but I am SO upset.

AIBU to never speak to SIL again? (Obviously I will through gritted teeth but right now I feel like having a full on tantrum).

OP posts:
UniversalAunt · 03/03/2018 19:09

Special attachment object...need I say more.

SinglePringle · 03/03/2018 19:11

I swear to god, if someone allowed their child to steal my ted I would go fucking nuclear. I’d be FURIOUS. I’ve had her since I bought her at a jumble aged 4. She was already old / straw stuffed. She’s knackered and needs looking after! I am a proper grown up with no other ‘toys’ and she lives on a shelf but she’s a memory of my childhood and I would make my feelings known. Fuck any ‘but she’s a child and she ‘wanted’ it’.

Through. The. Roof. Angry

overnightangel · 03/03/2018 19:11

I’d suggest you prioritise getting some perspective back over getting your soft toy back

ohnomoresnow · 03/03/2018 19:13

Right with you OP. My SIL (bro's wife) looked on in wonderment and amusement as their little twat of a son poked and pulled and prodded at a childhood toy of mine (25 years old at the time,) that my dad got me from America. He pulled a piece off it, and I went red and said 'STOP IT CHARLIE!' (Not his name!) and took it off him.

SIL went into a proper strop, and a sulk, and swanned off into the kitchen to moan at my brother. He came in and said 'well we're off now...' I said 'bye then!'

Then he and she went and bitched and whined at my mother about what a cow I was having a go at poor little fucking Charlie! Unruly, badly behaved little twat. 5 years on, he is no different, and his behaviour is worse than ever. SIL always has an excuse though for his 'behavioural issues.'

The OP's SIL sounds the same, and so does her asshole brother!

ohnomoresnow · 03/03/2018 19:14

Not belittling anything OP, but this whole thing puts me in mind of an episode of 'friends.' (see the pic there < ) Grin

Hope you get your teddy back! Talk to your SIL and say you WANT your property back, and she has crossed a line!

AIBU to be NEVER speak to SIL again?
cook64 · 03/03/2018 19:15

tell them they better find him poor teddy

Butterymuffin · 03/03/2018 19:15

Send what innuit said. They need to look for it.

Lizzie48 · 03/03/2018 19:15

That's just plain wrong, and I would be blaming your DB more than your SIL as he's the one who knows how much the bear meant to you, unless he only found out about it after they'd left? But he definitely shouldn't have laughed about it, that was very unkind.

They really should try harder to retrace their steps.

Worlds0kayestmum · 03/03/2018 19:16

YANBU

I still have mine and gave it to my DD when she was old enough. She knows it is precious to me and often tucks it into my side of the bed if I've been working late or when we have movie nights, she will bring it and a blanket down for me so I 'have something to cuddle'. I'd be devastated if someone took it

iammargesimpson · 03/03/2018 19:16

I'd suggest everyone gets some perspective! Calling the police, never speaking to them again, never letting them in the house again, screaming down the phone, seriously?! Hmm

MiniCooperLover · 03/03/2018 19:17

How did it get lost between your house and theirs? Sounds to me like they just don't want to upset their child by taking it back.

TheAntiBoop · 03/03/2018 19:18

All my family know that my special ted goes to the grave with me!

I really feel for you op

Rosamund1 · 03/03/2018 19:19

Your point of contact with in laws is the blood relative. WhatsApp message to them both.

DB, you know I’ve had mr boo boo since I was 4. That is an item of great sentimental value. 1. You took an item from my home without permission. 2. You say the teddy is now lost. Please only contact me again when you have located it.

catwoman248428 · 03/03/2018 19:19

YANBU I have a teddy that I have had since a baby and I would be so upset in your position. I would contact DB and ask them to look for the teddy.

DownstairsMixUp · 03/03/2018 19:19

I don't speak to my sil, best thing I ever did, make of that what you will!

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 03/03/2018 19:19

Who the hell let's their child take something without asking the owner?! I'd be pissed off if it was any of the million insignificant ones my kids have in their room never mind one that was precious. You're so allowed to be annoyed, if this was a piece of jewelry you'd had since a child I'm guessing she wouldn't have just taken it, what makes it OK coz its a teddy!

GeekyWombat · 03/03/2018 19:21

How did they get home? Bus lost property? Train lost property? I’d be asking them to do all that and post on local Facebook groups etc too.

When I was 13 my dad gave a stuffed frog I’d been given when I was born to a tantruming cousin without talking to me about it. Nearly thirty years on I’m still a bit gutted about it - every photo of me from pretty much when I could hold something in my hand to me starting school had him in it and I’m gutted I haven’t been able to show him to my children. I’m so sorry OP and can totally understand you feeling so upset.

(Cousin lived abroad. Frog never seen again)

JugglingMummyof2 · 03/03/2018 19:21

@Rosamund1 has it.
No discussion.

Bear2014 · 03/03/2018 19:21

Oh OP this is so outrageous and unforgivable 💐 I would also be going absolutely nuclear. They should be looking for it, but failing that you could possibly ring the train station/motorway service station they might have lost him at, or if they are relatively local try to trace their journey yourself? Then tell SIL to go fuck herself.

Lizzie48 · 03/03/2018 19:22

I think it's the fact that her DB laughed about it and there's been no apology about their behalf by the sounds of it. It would have been different if her DB had said, 'I'm really sorry, Sis, we've looked everywhere and can't find it. We'll keep looking' the reaction on here would have been very different. There probably wouldn't have been a thread at all.

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 03/03/2018 19:22

I've been quite sleep deprived lately, might pop to Tesco , fill a trolley and walk out without paying. I'm really pissed off for you op. I've a copy of a book that my late nan gave to me, if someone took and thEN LOST IT!! I'd be so sad and cross.

wowfudge · 03/03/2018 19:22

My bet is that SIL didn't her child permission to take the teddy - for some reason your DB and his wife are covering up for their child just taking it. Who knows whether it is actually lost or not.

PotteryLady · 03/03/2018 19:23

I would be devastated Angryand I would be telling them they need to find it. Where was it lost? Why would they let their child take it? Sorry for you x

Nofunkingworriesmate · 03/03/2018 19:23

If they make no effort to look for it When you make it clear to them how upset you are , then you know how little they care about your feelings

FreeNiki · 03/03/2018 19:23

I feel your pain OP.

My sister lets her children do what they like in my home and my mother encourages them too.

I am afraid I have had to stop them visiting my home as I can stand it no longer.

My youngest nephew in particular walks into my room and chooses a toy to play with, Im not happy about it. Mum tells me not to be ridiculous. He took a toy of mine that was given to me when I started university and sat on my bed or desk the whole time there. He took it outside and lost it too.

My mother and sister told me not to be ridiculous and I wasnt playing with it. Of course not but that isnt the point.

They are rude selfish buggers.