To think legally she can’t do this?

[MaryPoppinsPenguins]

My DD has SEN, she’s a summer birthday in reception and behind on top of that so things are often quite a struggle for her.

Her school have sent out a letter saying ‘come and have a mother’s day lunch with your children on X day, bring a packed lunch and sit with them. If you can’t make it, please send along a female relative in your place’

I’m in hospital, I had major surgery yesterday and won’t be able to join her on Monday. I emailed to ask if my husband can come instead, as my DD is already quite anxious about me not being at home as it is.

They said no, because he’s not female.

Surely that’s not allowed? What if we were a two dad family, or a widower?

AIBU?

That's massively insensitive.

I don't think it's a legal thing. It's maybe not being handled very sensitively, but they aren't breaking any law

He needs to self ID as female...

That is disgraceful. What about a child who's lost her mum?

Sorry, that probably sounded snide. It is ridiculous of the school.

Very short sighted of the teacher !!

No idea if it's legal but it's very mean.

Well if you were a 2 dad family presumably you wouldnt celebrate mothers day. If your DH were widowed he could still send another female relative?

I think I’d insist to the school that your DH goes along. They are being really insensitive - and completely unnecessarily so

Tell them he now identifies as a woman.

Seriously though I don't think it's illegal, but they could handle it more sensitively and possibly made an allowance on this occasion given your DD's needs. Can you phone them or get your husband to phone?

He could always tell the school that he gender fluid but presents as a man.

Tell them he now identifies as a woman.

That's horrific. I was raised by my Dad, this would have made me so sad.

Are they doing a Fathers Day one? And if you have no female relative/friend available, does your child have to sit alone? Bit mean, really.

It's not unlawful, but it is shortsighted. Are there any other children in a similar position, what does the school suggest instead?

(And don't go down the what if route - you're not a two dad family or a widower, you can't claim discrimination for a characteristic that does not apply to you.)

If her SEN issue amounts to a disability then it would be a reasonable adjustment for your daughter's school to accommodate your husband in the circumstances.

If she is disabled and they fail to make a reasonable adjustment, it is illegal under the Equality Act 2010.

My girls had the opposite problem, there were no male relatives, literally.

It causes unnecessary additional upset for the children that don't have anyone to attend.

There will be children who don't have anyone because everyone is working, though.

Bombardier - I’m not claiming discrimination on behalf of myself in those instances, there are children in those situations at school, I wonder how they feel?

There surely must be a fair few working mums who won't be able to get a day off to go either. Love the idea that every family has a handy female relative who lives near enough to go in their stead!

I can understand her dad not being allowed to go if it's a Mother's Day thing. Two dads wouldn't mind as they would both be able to go when it's Father's Day. However if some kids mums or dads aren't around that will be hard enough watching their friends make cards never mind having to sit alone x

wow that is mean, what do the children who do not have a mother or a female relative do? The school do need to look into this, I would e-mail the headteacher.

they haven't thought this through very well have they

They shouldn't do this at all. Daft idea. I couldn't go if it was my dc and I've no relatives who could go either. Maybe. Cardboard cut out?