To think legally she can’t do this?

[MaryPoppinsPenguins]

My DD has SEN, she’s a summer birthday in reception and behind on top of that so things are often quite a struggle for her.

Her school have sent out a letter saying ‘come and have a mother’s day lunch with your children on X day, bring a packed lunch and sit with them. If you can’t make it, please send along a female relative in your place’

I’m in hospital, I had major surgery yesterday and won’t be able to join her on Monday. I emailed to ask if my husband can come instead, as my DD is already quite anxious about me not being at home as it is.

They said no, because he’s not female.

Surely that’s not allowed? What if we were a two dad family, or a widower?

AIBU?

What about the transactivist wanting to let men invade a female space and event.

Nelly what does that have to do with OP's DD having no relative to bring but her father? A primary school dining hall is not a women's safe space

Keep her home for the day!

Depends what you mean by mother. If you mean the female who actually gave birth to the child then any adoptive , foster or random female relative/friend is ruled out.
If you mean mother as in carer, nurterer, educator, nurse then dad can equally and in some cases be more of a mother to the child.
Whilst op is in hospital dad is also mum in all practical senses. Since when has an ordinary school become a female safe space? How utterly ridiculous!
Why should this little girl and indeed her poorly mum be distressed further by the school's ill conceived and bigotted ideas?
Op keep your little girl off on that day and as another poster suggested get dad to bring her with a picnic so you can all celebrate together.

Nelly1231

Its not an event for women, its an event for mothers but the school have decided to allow random aunties and family friends so why not fathers?
This is not a trans issue, dont try and make it one.

I would argue given it's to benefit the child, the priority should be "bring a relative". It's not rocket science that not all children will be able to bring a female relative. It's not a women's group. It's a bring your mother to school event. The focus should be the child having someone to bring. Fight that battle out in the adult world.

Muslim mothers would not be comfertible when men invading a mother and child event, if mother cannot come they should send a female in their place.

Nelly are you even listening? Not every child will have a female relative to bring.

Nelly1231

I actually think most would be fine with it. What if the teacher is male?

My niece is in reception, she lost her mother (my sister) this year. I'd be horrified if her school didn't let DN decide who she wanted to come into this event. If DN wanted another female relative great - if DN wanted her Dad to be there then the school should oblige (well in reality the school shouldn't have put themselves in this ridiculous situation but yada yada). Surely if the child is discomfited by not having their mother there then the child should be able to choose another guest...

oh and Nelly - its not an event for women/females - if so are all the male children excluded??

If I was in hospital as the OP is in this case, DD would have no female relative to bring to playgroup. My sister and other extended family live a 12 hour flight away. DD father's family live in NI. This would have been me as a child too if my mother was unavailable as we lived abroad. That won't be unusual in multicultural Britain.

Should those kids have to sit by themselves while their friends all have a relative, just because they only have male relatives available? This is reception for goodness sake.

@Nelly1231 are you for real? No Muslim woman I have ever met would ever be upset by a Dad day with his daughter. We’re not talking a changing room here, it’s a public space!

I think the school is wrong, as there will be mums who cannot come, or dads who are widowers. Think of Rio Ferdinand or Simon Thomas as men who have recently been widowed and have school age children.

Interesting that the two main dissenters on this thread are girl'snamenumber

I work in a school - we would accommodate your request OP. Well, we don't do events like this (several bereaved children, would be emotionally unfair to put them through it) but if we did there would be no issue.

I don't have any advice that differs from anyone else, but I would have no qualms about putting my daughter first, whether that be removing her for the day (and a letter to the Governors) or her father attending in your place.

So children should be forced to have no relative with them due to only male relatives being available, in order to accommodate a tiny minority of Muslim women who cannot be in the same room as a man, who, remember, we have no reason to believe actually represent one mother at the OP's DD school, let alone more than one.

Nelly, what if the teacher is male?

Not all female events need to be made so men can attend this errosion of female spaces is a huge issue nowadays

A classroom possibly with a male teacher is no a female space! No not all female events need to be made so men can attend but this one does.

This is what happens when a certain type of woman keeps banging on about safe places.

Common sense flies out the window and the little ones get upset.

So all those who think there is a penis in a skirt in every changing room, just waiting to leap out at them ..... how many have ?

Send your DH along in a dress??

It is NOT a women's event. It is not for the women.

It's for the children to bring a relative.

@Nelly1231 it’s a school, there will be men around regardless. Teachers, maintenance men, cooks, volunteers, TAs. Plus, you’re not socialising with them, you are there for your child. Are you saying that a Muslim woman cannot go to any function within the school where men are? What about Mother’s Day events at secondary school where most of the boys have started puberty? What an absolute joke.