To feel uncomfortable with SIL not vaccinating nephew

[CambozolaCrackers]

Have name changed for obvious reasons.....would appreciate some guidance on how to broach an awkward family situation going forward.

B and SIL have decided not to vaccinate their son (8 months).
My DS is 5 months and has been vaccinated.

Today we met up for swim class which both babies attend weekly.

I was concerned to see my DS had angry red rash across torso and brought him to a&e after the class to get checked out.

In short, I’ve been told it is a ‘viral exanthem’ rash, no meds prescribed - just one of those things that happen, and not to worry.

I’ve told my BIL and SIL what I’ve been told by the doctor. My worry is that at some point we are going to pass on something and put my nephew’s health at risk...or that my nephew will catch something dreadful that he has not been vaccinated against.

The anti vaxxer argument is not something that sits comfortably with me, but equally it’s very difficult to criticise other people’s parenting decisions - especially when it is family.

Any advice on how to best protect our kids going forward.

This is worrying, as someone who is pregnant in one of the areas mentioned:

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/health-43125242

I went to every chicken pox party in the land. My mum wanted me to get it. When I didn't a Dr told her that I must have had a very mild version which she'd missed.
Anyhow I eventually got chicken pox when I was 25. I was incredibly ill.
Not fun.
I've privately vaccinated my boys. I'll privately get them the HPV too.

**Bluedoglead I think you’ve aligned yourself to the wrong camp. You’re speaking as an Anti-Vax which I’m guessing you’re not. Anti means against or in opposition to.

Anti Vax is stupid. Not being able to vaccinate is medically required sometimes.

Like you my ds2 could not be vaccinated, therefore I am the most Pro Vaxer there is! As without other people vaccinating their children, and me vaccinating ds1 and ds3 my ds2 would be at a much greater risk of catching something awful.

To all of you pro vaccinating parents, thank you

You do not need to rush to A&E with a viral rash! Expecially as you didn't see fit to go until the class was over.
(misses point)

Raisins, some children who are vaccinated will still be capable of catching the illness. I believe a vaccine fails in 1 or 2% of cases. This is why it is even more important that healthy children are vaccinated to ensure there is sufficient herd immunity
After 2 doses of MMR, 90 to 95% of people are immune from mumps for 20 years. Immunity gradually declines after that but as mumps is most common among teenagers and young adults, this is ok because the second dose is given when a teenager so most people are protected until they are at least 35 onwards. The NHS has a really good FAQ page on the vaccine if you're interested.

<a class="break-all" href="https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/11/06/well/family/mumps-makes-a-comeback-even-among-the-vaccinated.html?referer=www.google.co.uk/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">mobile.nytimes.com/2017/11/06/well/family/mumps-makes-a-comeback-even-among-the-vaccinated.html?referer=www.google.co.uk/

Informative article. Although not in the UK, the conclusions are that outbreak is still lower as a result of two dose vaccination, the risk of complication was far lower among those vaccinated and that a third dose is beneficial but not currently recommended unless a person is high risk. Sounds like a positive case for two dose MMR.

Apart from genuine medical reasons (having chemotherapy, allergies etc) what other possible reason would you not vaccinate?

Surely it’s a win win situation.... they have been through lots of testing and are deemed safe. The risk of getting diseases that can kill you seems too high not to do it!

My mil told me not to vaccinate my son because there was a government conspiracy and they are using vaccines to sterilise people I just think she’s batshit crazy.

I have no immunity to anything right now. Finished chemo and can't be vaccinated for another 6 months. It scares the shit out of me going out knowing there are antivaxxers out there, not for medical reasons, but the idiots that read "facts" on google.

The day I can be revaccinated will be a day of joy for me.

Vaccinating should be mandatory, because it's up to the health of the many to protect the health of the few. Herd immunity. Sadly OP you can't fix stupid.

Hate anti vaxxers.

I chicken pox is far more serious as an adult. You poor thing. That is why people try to ensure that their children catch it young

My mum did her best to make sure I caught it. I sat next to kids at school who caught it, babysat for kids who came out with their spots the same evening, cuddled my little brother constantly when he had it, all to no avail.

I never dreamed I might get it as an adult, I assumed I'd acquired some sort of immunity through exposure. My neighbour and I both caught it when another neighbour's child had it.

Kind of weird that 2 adults got it at the same time, maybe it was a mutation that targeted older people!

There has been a huge influx of mumps in adults because of the fact that the childhood vaccinations are now wearing off as they do not provide lifelong immunity as catching the actual illness does and if they do wear off then that happens at the most difficult time to catch the illness i.e. in adulthood when the consequences are that much more severe such as infertility in men.

Women can be rendered infertile by it, too, but it's much rarer. Our GP was concerned when I had mumps at 12, and had started my periods 18 months earlier.

If people had opted not to have smallpox vax for their kids, it may never have been eradicated. Polio is very nearly eradicated because of a global vaccination programme.

Measles is dangerous, can be fatal and is on the increase in Europe because some parents have this ludicrous notion that the vx is dangerous.

I really feel for parents of immuno-compromised children because they cannot protect them and they are doubly at risk from those who won't vax their kids. To rely on herd immunity provided by those who have a more responsible attitude to public health is a huge cop out imo.

There has been a huge influx of mumps in adults because of the fact that the childhood vaccinations are now wearing off as they do not provide lifelong immunity

Well for me at 36 I had immunity to MMR (was tested), 1 month after chemo ended I had immunity to MMR (tested), 6 months post chemo I had immunity to mumps only (was tested again), 1 year post chemo I had immunity to nothing (again tested).

Also 6 months post chemo I still had chickenpox immunity, some others too. Can't remember now and cba to get the paperwork out. After 1 year I had no immunity to anything.
The worst bit was probably while my immune system was regrowing early on, but I feel most vulnerable now, because I know all my immunity is gone.

The people that choose not to vaccinate and don't have any genuine medical reason are arseholes.

@Spidermans thanks for sharing- it’s quite an insight into your world

You're welcome. I have star stickers on my calendar for when I can be vaccinated again.

Right now I feel so scared. DH is doing the school runs at the moment.

If anyone is worried they no longer have immunity and vaccinations have worn off, just get tested. Simple blood test, takes minutes and your GP can just tick all the boxes so you're tested for everything.

Much easier than not vaccinating because someone off the internet says they wear off. Some peoples might, but I don't think it's as for sure as some would lead you to believe.

Bluedoglead, you have missed the point. Herd immunity is exactly to protect children who cannot be immunised/are too young/or are immuno compromised. For herd immunity we need 90% uptake. We all have a society responsibilty to protect other children who may be vulnerable. Of course all parents have a choice but if it was my family I would once and only once make my views very clear that it is risking the health of their own children and worse, someone elses. Italy has a problem at the moment for this reason 3000 cases of measles, some deaths, meningitis caused amputations and a 12 year old who died from tetanus. Listen to the science, read the facts. The Italians are debated whether un vaccinated children should not be allowed to go to school, thats how serious it can get. I get cross when many parents choose not to vaccinate and rely on the fact that the rest of us will do to protect their child. They have not seen some of the preventable illnesses and the distress and suffering

Sometimes I wonder if anti-vaxxers are really Russian bots here to stir up arguments and waste all of our time!
I genuinely don’t understand how so many people can be so thick.

Well, I would tell her I think she’s being an idiot. But then anti vaxxers are practically the only thing I don’t bite my tongue about.

Why A&E though for a rash?

I cannot imagine how frightening it must be, @Spidermans. Exactly what you don’t need after chemo x