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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Referring to yourself as a full-time mum

370 replies

tiredmumm · 19/02/2018 10:07

Hi,

I'm just curious as to other people's opinions but I was watching a programme and a contestant referred to themselves as a full-time mum meaning they are a SAHM. AIBU because this really irritates me, I'm currently on Mat leave but when I return to work I will still class myself as a full-time mum as I don't suddenly not become a mum whilst working.

I've heard it so many times where FTM is referred to as though those who work are not.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Marcine · 19/02/2018 10:08

It just means you're doing childcare full time, I wouldn't read anything else into it.

PiffIeandWiffle · 19/02/2018 10:09

Don't overthink it...

It comes across as you having a guilty conscience if you get het up about it....

HollyBayTree · 19/02/2018 10:09

It means unemployed.

falsepriest · 19/02/2018 10:09

What would you suggest the contestant should have said?

Canwejustrelaxnow · 19/02/2018 10:10

I think yabu but just cos you're ovetthinking it and seeing it as a grand statement. She's only saying she looks after the kids all day and doesn't go out to work. I think we only got the term sahm from America a few years back.

gimmesomeapachepizza · 19/02/2018 10:11

YAWN. How many times does this have to be done?
Its just another word for stay at home parent, ffs. It's not a value judgement on you, you narcissitic numpty.

Skittlesss · 19/02/2018 10:11

It means she doesn't work, but she thinks she's above those who don't work and don't have kids.

Original poster
tiredmumm · 19/02/2018 10:12

I'd of said SAHM. This is not a rant about them being a SAHM btw just that I feel if you're a parent working or not you do this full-time.

OP posts:
TheStoic · 19/02/2018 10:12

We all know what she means.

Canwejustrelaxnow · 19/02/2018 10:13

Unemployed is a technical term which means that you're actively seeking work and probably claiming. There will always be another box for homemaker or some such awful term.

PepperSteaks · 19/02/2018 10:13

When I went back full time when DD was tiny I used to get really upset by this. Now I work part time it doesn’t bother me. I think I was projecting my own feelings of guilt.

araiwa · 19/02/2018 10:13

Got a bit of a complex op?

NataliaOsipova · 19/02/2018 10:14

This has been done to death! There is no snappy sound bite that pleases everyone. People can call themselves whatever they like; it's about them and not about you. I really wouldn't read anything into it.

Meeep · 19/02/2018 10:14

People think SAHM is offensive because it's as if you're not doing anything except staying indoors at home being lazy.

People get offended at anything you say about mothering.
Don't be one of the offence takers. Let it go. It's not a judgement on you.

Coco30 · 19/02/2018 10:15

Who cares what she referred to herself as.
Shes a different person to you she doesnt have to say what you would.

MistressPage · 19/02/2018 10:15

I describe myself as a full time mum, mainly because SAHM doesn't fit the bill for me, it implies I'm at home when the opposite is true and we're out and about having adventures every day. Of course you don't stop being a mum while you're at work. But you are not actively parenting your small child for those hours, you've outsourced that job to someone else.

Camomila · 19/02/2018 10:15

I've been a working mum, a SAHM, and a student mum....'full time mum' doesn't bother me at all. Just slightly shorter than 'stay at home mum'

Unemployed bothers me because its a) inaccurate b)undermines SAHP

NataliaOsipova · 19/02/2018 10:16

Unemployed is a technical term which means that you're actively seeking work and probably claiming

Thank you! It is. It means available for and actively seeking work. Anyone who reads a serious paper, or even watches the crap TV news would be well aware of this.....

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 19/02/2018 10:17

It's not a value judgement on you, you narcissitic numpty.

😂 Comment of the day!

I'm stealing that one.

harlaandgoddard · 19/02/2018 10:18

It means you are parenting full time. I work and don’t take offence to this at all. I’m not parenting my DD as much as a SAHM/full time parent is with their child. It doesn’t make me any less of a mum.

Allthewaves · 19/02/2018 10:19

Hate phrase full time mum - it's just so blah

FranticallyPeaceful · 19/02/2018 10:20

I’ve quit my job every time I was at the end of pregnancy with mine, so on both their birth certificates it says “Homemaker” lol. So cringe.

I always go back to work soon after (I work from home anyway) but this time I don’t even know if I’m going to quit for awhile because of how cringe having “homemaker” is on my kids birth certificates.

“Full-time Mother” would be a welcome change

PiffIeandWiffle · 19/02/2018 10:20

I'd of said SAHM

So does that make you a NAHM??

PiffIeandWiffle · 19/02/2018 10:22

I feel if you're a parent working or not you do this full-time.

Apart from the hours you're at work and someone else is responsible for the welfare and care of your child...... Wink

Shutupanddance1 · 19/02/2018 10:22

In my eyes - all mums are full time mums. I wouldn’t be upset at someone using it to describe what they do. I probably use the term SATM myself but I don’t get wrapped up in it.

Wouldn’t call myself unemployed either tho - as technically I’m studying PT.. so maybe PT student Grin

Who actually cares? Wine

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