Referring to yourself as a full-time mum

[tiredmumm]

Hi,

I'm just curious as to other people's opinions but I was watching a programme and a contestant referred to themselves as a full-time mum meaning they are a SAHM. AIBU because this really irritates me, I'm currently on Mat leave but when I return to work I will still class myself as a full-time mum as I don't suddenly not become a mum whilst working.

I've heard it so many times where FTM is referred to as though those who work are not.

Thoughts?

Sahm means you don't go out of the house to work, not that you literally never go out of the house. hmm surely that doesn't need explaining but apparently it does.

Full time mum means that you have a job outside the house, not that you cease to be a mother while you are at your place of employment. Surely that doesn't need explaining either? The irony.....

Leach

.....aaargh...I mean that you don't have a job out of the house, not that someone else ceases to be a mother while they are working. I cannot type on this bloody iPad.....

I just think it’s a silly twee term to make ‘unemployed’ sound better so I can’t get too worked up over it

Im a housewife, its great as i only have 1 at home all day now.
I drink coffee, i read, i run a toddler group, i also shop, garden, run our home and ferry dcs to various activities, cook , clean and help with homework.
So its a full time job, why would i want another one?

its not actually a twee term for the unemployed thankyou .some of us actually made the decision to stay at home .

"I'm a full-time mum."

But other mothers get upset as they are mums all the time too. As if anyone using this terms thinks they aren't.

"I'm a stay-at-home-mum."

Sounds like you never go out. And what about mothers who do paid work from home?

"I'm a carer."

This is not a term normally used for looking after children - it implies you care for another adult. Will require further explanation.

"I'm a housewife"

I don't need to explain the problem with this one, I hope.

"I'm unemployed."

No, this means you're looking for work/available for work.

Natalie I've made no comment on the meaning of full time mum.

It's a difficult one tbh. I'm a SAHM, through a lot of thinking and looking at everything myself and my partner both made the decision we were able to do this but when I say that I've been asked am I claiming benefits, am I cheating the system etc and you do feel shamed and judged. I feel perhaps the lady said FTM to not have that judgement and yet she probably will still have some judgement and people finding something to moan about. I don't think it matters how you say it. Everyone can say it how that want! Stay at home mum, full time mum, "none-working mum" (yes I've heard that!), all day mum, etc etc etc.

OwlinaTree

**I describe myself as a full time mum, mainly because SAHM doesn't fit the bill for me, it implies I'm at home when the opposite is true and we're out and about having adventures every day.

Do you talk like this in real life? I think every sahm goes out of the house!

Lol that was my thought too! But are all the other Mums having adventures?

You're not unemployed if you are not seeking employment and already have an occupation.

Fair enough Natalia. I'm interested in the notion of 'jobs' versus 'vocations' I suppose, so the analogy of a doctor from a pp is a good one. Or a police officer. They're vocations, not jobs, because with jobs you can clock off. Being a parent isn't a job, you don't get to clock off and you don't get paid to do it, you're always a parent - whether at home or at work.

You don't have a job though. Unless you're one of those who thinks parenting your own children is a job.

It just means that's what they're doing with their time, rather than having a job outside the home.
It doesn't imply that those who work are any less of a parent, although some people like to think this, for some reason
I've been both, can't say it bothers me how people refer to themselves.
it will be a long thread OP, have you not seen the already thousands of threads on this topic

It's an occupation. Someone has to look after the children. It is a task that requires to be done by somebody.

I use full time mum 1 because if I say sahm people just assume I'm to lazy to work and if I say I'm a carer for my 2 sn kids I'm asked why as I'm their parent so should be caring for them anyway. I can't win anyway and full time mum annoys some but means less explaining for me so meh.

I don't think anyone says SAHM/Full time mum to offend. It's just there IS no definitive phrase and you have to put something down on forms.

In conversation you can go with the easy option of SAHM or full time mum because people understand what this means.

If you're feeling more adventurous you can say that you're on maternity leave even if you haven't been back to work for five years, or that you took early retirement, or that you are lucky enough not to have to work from a financial point of view or that you're on a career break.

When you're at a party and someone you don't know opens with a corker of a conversation starter such as 'so, what do you do?' you know that they are really asking, what is your job? They are not asking you what you like to do in your spare time. If they wanted to know that they would specifically ask you this. It's just easy to say SAHM mum/full time mum. It isn't a loaded answer for most people.

What terminology should we use? I'm an AMANACAT (A mum, a nanny, a cleaner, a teacher). I suppose that would offend some people too.

You’re not employed though. Therefore you are unemployed. Honestly, just own it. There’s nothing wrong with it, if that’s what you want but there’s no need to give it cute little names.

I work. But others using “full time Mum” doesn’t bother me at all. Although I guess if the kids were all in secondary school I might find it an odd phrase to use.
The problem is the question not the answer. “What do you do?” Implies you must have a job, and that it defines you. It’s a weird thing to ask on a tv show. What about all the people whose passion is a sport or art or a volunteer role but who earn their money doing something bland? I’d much rather hear that someone is a world class fell runner than a part time sports shop manager even if it’s the second that earns them money.

Snowflake alert

Yawn.

I hate the term.

It implies parents who work aren't 'full time' and minimises their relationship and dedication to their children as though they are failing them.

I am a full time mum even though I work.

If you don't work you're a stay at home mum, not a full time mum.

You're a full time mum no matter what you do.

I think it's terribly twee.

That said, identity/label crisis exists only on MN.

@MistressPage so when your DC go to school you'll no longer be a full-time mum because you've outsourced that job to the teachers yes??

Sure im not in paid employment, dh is though and there is no need for me to work, its all down to a partnership.
I sold my business to stay home full time work plus 3 children plus a house was too much. It might have been a little easier if i worked set hours for someone else but the amount i would earn in a little job would get eaten in tax and childcare.

What about parents who work shifts around each other so don’t actually outsource their childcare? Unless letting the Dad look after the kids is outsourcing 🙄 honestly, these labels are so silly.