To expect a wedding invite more than 6 weeks before the big day?

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So I'm 99% sure I'm invited to a wedding in 6 weeks time, well I was 100% sure but the days are going by and the postman still hasn't delivered an invitation. I've sorted out childcare and everything for my kids for the day and evening.

But I would have expected to have received an invitation a minimum of 8 weeks before the big day. I know when I got married, I had to confirm numbers and meal choices etc with the venue at least 4 weeks before and you inevitably have to spend some time chasing up those people who don't get their RSVPs back by the RSVP date. And then you also need time to get the table plan done and printed or whatever.

AIBU to think it's leaving it a bit late to get the invites out? Or maybe I'm just not invited!

Let's hope the postman delivers today !

Sorry for the lack of an update, it's been a bit of a manic couple of days for other reasons and I'm actually now away from home for a few days. Will see if there's an invitation waiting when I get home again, still think there will be. By the sounds of it, the bride is rather stressed, so I wouldn't be surprised if they're only getting sent out now.

Oh dear

you-aren't invited

So an invitation had been delivered this week while I was away, a full day invitation for myself and DH!! Strangely there is no RSVP date (just details of where to RSVP to). I'm somewhat tempted to leave it a few weeks before RSVPing, if there is no great rush to get your invitations out then why should we rush to reply? I feel like I'm turning into my mother who would tell you that the invitation sets the tone for the wedding. I get the feeling it's all going to be a bit disorganised.

OP, this does actually sound odd. I do wonder if you're a 2nd tier guest, ie there's no RSVP date as that's already been reached, and they've had some people decline, leaving spaces to invite others.

I'm somewhat tempted to leave it a few weeks before RSVPing, if there is no great rush to get your invitations out then why should we rush to reply?

That would be a bit childish wouldnt it?

And if it is disorganised I am sure you wouldnt want to contribue to that and end up arriving to no meal because they didnt know whether you were going to be there when they had to finalise catering.

I really don't think we're second tier guests, there has been a lot of chat on the hen party whatsapp group today, which has indicated that most of them had received invitations this week. I do find the lack of an RSVP date odd though, surely you know when you have to confirm everything with your venue and ensure you have your RSVPs back in good time before that. I don't mean to be childish, I just think there has to be an element of consideration for your guests, they planned this day nearly a year ago, why leave it to the last minute to let your guests know what's happening? Oh god, I really am turning into my mother.....

Why play games? Just accept if you want to go and decline if you don't.

But they haven’t left it to the last minute to let guests know. You already knew date/location etc, and have made your arrangements re child care and so on. They just hadn’t sent out the formal invitations. Which are a bit later than the standard six weeks before, but not very.

I'm somewhat tempted to leave it a few weeks before RSVPing, if there is no great rush to get your invitations out then why should we rush to reply?

What would be the point of that? If they are being disorganised, you'll just be making it all even more disorganised.

It doesn't sound as though you like the bride and groom much so why are you bothering to go to the wedding??

Obviously it's only me that thinks this is all a little last minute then. It hadn't been clear we were invited, I had thought it was implied from previous conversations, but when I didn't get an invitation I started to doubt myself. It's only now, 5 weeks before the big day, that I'm certain we're invited. Oh weddings are complicated things.

If you feel tempted to punish the bride for giving you ‘only’ 6 weeks notice by not replying for a while, perhaps you shouldn’t go? Either you’re excited to be invited or you’re not.
I would only want guests who were happy for me at my wedding.

Oh I don't want to punish her! I was just curious to know if people thought this was a reasonable timeframe for people to send out wedding invitations. Obviously you think it's fine and I'm happy to accept that. It's not all that long since I got married and I remember having to confirm numbers and meal choices with the venue 4 weeks before, but I completely understand that some venues may not require so much notice. Anyway, we're planning on going and having a good time!

Its clear that she thought you knew you were invited, otherwise she wouldnt have made assumptions based on that. So in her mind the sending out of invitations was just admin. Same with the RSVP, in her mind you would have said if you werent going so you are already confirmed.

Is this disorganised? Yes. Should she have made these assumptions? No.

But its all done. Wedding is happening, you are invited, all is good. Channel your inner Elsa and Let It Go! :o

If she's been very stressed by organising the wedding, maybe she just forgot to put the RSVP date on the invitations.

You've made your arrangements to attend, so send your RSVP on Monday, as you have no reason to delay sending it.

Honestly OP; fussing about how soon the invitations are sent, fussing about no RSVP date, fussing about it being disorganised. Seriously, just chill your boots. It’s really quite judgemental and a bit of a mountain out of a molehill.

Well without a rspv date she is going to be stressing out even more soon enough when she has to give final numbers and hasn't heard from half her guests! I'd be kind and rspv soon. She's going to be chasing a number of people soon enough!

I think you are overthinking and overinvested. You got the invite. just chill out and have a good day. Why would you wait for a few weeks to RSVP esp given the fact that you have created this massive thread? You sound very childish

I didn't send my invitations out until 6 weeks before, although we had sent save the date cards out a few months previous. I didn't have to confirm numbers with caterers until a week before the date. I don't think she is BU at all.

I think it used to be 6 weeks years ago, now it’s longer. I’d sent out invites for functions 3 months in advance, asking for rsvp at least 4 weeks before, probably more.
Even for birthday parties - adults - a couple of months would be the norm as people are busy! I’ve had save the dates for 50ths months in advance.

I sent mine out 6 weeks before. I was told that was the traditional thing to do. That was 26 years ago though.

We sent ours about 6 months before! It was a Friday wedding and a lot of people would have to travel so we wanted to give us much notice as possible. Our venue wanted the final numbers 6 weeks before the wedding date so couldn’t have left it that late even if we wanted to.

It's not that late, why would you need more than 6 weeks to sort anything out? And if you can't make it then you can't make it...

Oh just don't go. You'll probably spend the day slagging off everything that you don't think is "traditional".

6 weeks was standard when I married 20 years ago. Before the days of save the date cards. Guests are either free to come or they’ve made plans. I didn’t lose sleep over it and nor did my guests.