To expect a wedding invite more than 6 weeks before the big day?

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So I'm 99% sure I'm invited to a wedding in 6 weeks time, well I was 100% sure but the days are going by and the postman still hasn't delivered an invitation. I've sorted out childcare and everything for my kids for the day and evening.

But I would have expected to have received an invitation a minimum of 8 weeks before the big day. I know when I got married, I had to confirm numbers and meal choices etc with the venue at least 4 weeks before and you inevitably have to spend some time chasing up those people who don't get their RSVPs back by the RSVP date. And then you also need time to get the table plan done and printed or whatever.

AIBU to think it's leaving it a bit late to get the invites out? Or maybe I'm just not invited!

There was only 5 months between us deciding on a date and the wedding. We sent out the invites 6 weeks before (this was 2004). Only one part of my family were unable to make it, due to distance and cost. Everybody else (including those even further away) were able to come.

If I got an invite for a wedding in 9 months time, I would only be able to give a provisional acceptance as I don't know if I would be well enough to go. I only book holidays no more than 5 months away because of this.

I'm still 99% sure I'm invited, and that the invites are just going out somewhat later than I think is reasonable. Thinking back to conversations, I can't remember her ever saying that I was definitely invited, but it seemed to be implied with discussions on the venue and the date of the wedding etc. I guess we'll see if an invite pops through the door or not. If I'm not invited, then I wouldn't have paid to go on the hen weekend, but that's all paid now

When I got married first time (1987) my mum bought me a wedding etiquette book. I stated that 6 weeks is the 'correct' time to send invitations. Of course, times have changed and I think it's normally much longer now. It definitely used to be 6 weeks though.

It will be nasty of her if you aren't invited, but I would go with that thinking rather than being invited if I were you. Sorry OP, it's not looking promising.

Oh god. I’ll bet you’re not invited!

Have you asked anyone else if they’ve got their invites yet? Yours might have got lost in the post?

Placemarking (with popcorn )

Have you asked anyone else if they’ve got their invites yet? Yours might have got lost in the post?

Lost in the post..I've not heard that in a while

6 weeks is traditional and follows etiquette. If I got an invite 9 months before I’d think the couple were bonkers, unless it was abroad

I’ve been invited to a hen without being invited to a wedding. I didn’t know the hen that well but she was good friends with 2 of my best friends so I think she just invited me for a night out (I’ve moved away from them so don’t see them so much now).

It’s odd that there was no save the date imo. I’d be expecting an invite within the next week then if nothing assume I wasn’t invited.

I've just had an invite to a wedding in November.

The sooner the better imo.

We got an invitation months and months ahead and it just annoyed me. It’s for a friend’s son & giving me 10 months notice for a wedding abroad gives me no real excuse not to be able to go.

I'll say it again six weeks is traditional. Save the date is new and nothing more than a way for stationery companies to make money. Yes modern life is busy and more notice desirable but if people want to follow tradition that is their choice

The bride sounds like an arse if she's that unapproachable about a party her and her bloke are having that she's expecting people to spend money to celebrate. I'd check with her if you're invited and not care if it stresses her out, and if you aren't, don't go on the hen weekend (accepting costs til now as sunk.)

“Six weeks is traditional” - bugger that. Maybe in previous generations when you married your high school sweetheart in your home town and most of your guests would have been local, but modern life just isn’t like that.

If I sent my invitations out six weeks in advance I would expect half my guests to say they couldn’t make it at such short notice.

Blatantly placemarking for the fallout

I got married last year and can't even remember when I sent the invites out...think it was about eight weeks? Maybe less? I did save the dates about nine months before though- they had the wedding website details on. DH thought I was a proper dick for doing that but it was free and I got all the relevant bits in about airports/hotels/taxi firms/stuff to do for the ones travelling. They were grateful to have the info so they could plan accordingly and organise cheap flights and hotels. DH had to eat his words

OP I'd leave it til Tuesday and then out feelers out with other invitees. Your chum seems a bit highly strung and you might end up getting a deely-bopper with dicks on thrown at you on the hen if she thinks you're adding unnecessary stress by asking such minor queries as "do you want me at your wedding". She probably just assumes you know you're invited.

6 weeks is indeed traditional. I had experience of worrying about non-forthcoming invitation when 6 week point had been reached and no invitation had arrived. Fretted and felt utterly confused, but didn't dare to ask. Turned out the wedding was off. If no invitation has been received by anyone, it may be something else is afoot so proceed with caution.

Did you invite her on your hen do and to your wedding?

Place marking!

Hope it comes soon

I would need a lot more notice than 6 weeks to book the time off work.
I can’t believe anyone invited to the hen weekend wouldn’t be invited to the wedding though.

I was invited to a hen weekend by someone who didn't invite me to the wedding.

I was surprised to be invited on the hen given we weren't close in the slightest (distant acquaintance), but I was very pally with a lot of the hens.

I wonder if I'd have swung a wedding invitation had I bothered to go to the hen... I politely declined.

It's really crazy to invite someone to a hen party and not to the wedding. 😳

Quaza I didn't even live near the bride (moved 100s of miles away many many years before the wedding). To this day, I really am puzzled why I was invited and if she ever expected any likelihood of me turning up. I haven't even been to the hen parties of my actual friends - just not a fan of that kind of thing.