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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect a wedding invite more than 6 weeks before the big day?

205 replies

randomquestions · 18/02/2018 19:13

So I'm 99% sure I'm invited to a wedding in 6 weeks time, well I was 100% sure but the days are going by and the postman still hasn't delivered an invitation. I've sorted out childcare and everything for my kids for the day and evening.

But I would have expected to have received an invitation a minimum of 8 weeks before the big day. I know when I got married, I had to confirm numbers and meal choices etc with the venue at least 4 weeks before and you inevitably have to spend some time chasing up those people who don't get their RSVPs back by the RSVP date. And then you also need time to get the table plan done and printed or whatever.

AIBU to think it's leaving it a bit late to get the invites out? Or maybe I'm just not invited!

OP posts:
SadieHH · 19/02/2018 14:44

Doesn’t sound to me like you’re invited. Not sure why you’re waiting around though. If you can’t ask her then ask someone who you know will definitely be going. Why wait till Tuesday? Confused

Original poster
randomquestions · 19/02/2018 15:10

Nothing in today's post and I contacted a friend who said she hasn't got an invite yet either but she's also convinced we're all invited and thinks the invites will come this week. Will just wait and see.....

OP posts:
Lizzie48 · 19/02/2018 16:05

In that case, it does sound as if the bride is a bit disorganised, she might well regret that if a lot of her friends can't make the wedding. People do have other things going on in their lives after all.

KanyeWesticle · 19/02/2018 16:38

Put the feelers out to other Hens before you ask the bride. It sounds like she is stressed enough :)

GUMBYMUMBY · 19/02/2018 19:46

Usually you send wedding invites 6 weeks in advance.

HecatesBroom · 19/02/2018 19:47

And cancel the cheque.

Maverick66 · 19/02/2018 19:55

6 weeks is standard.

sonyaya · 19/02/2018 20:15

Given your update OP, hopefully the invitation will come this week, unless your other mate isn’t invited either!

Also wedding invitations do get lost in the post! It happened to me with a very good friend, and I knew I was invited as she had told me, and asked my advice on other aspects of the guest list. It got to about 6 weeks, so I asked a friend who had had their invitation several weeks prior. It was awkward but I mentioned it to the bride who was mortified and said a few people hadn’t received them. I’m sufficiently close to this girl that I think this is actually true rather than I wasn’t invited and she was too embarrassed to say!

CraftyGin · 19/02/2018 20:16

6 weeks was the traditional time in my day.

TathitiPete · 19/02/2018 20:18

You see this us why we, as a society, need to move towards Snapchat for wedding invitations.

fudgesmummy · 19/02/2018 21:29

I feel I might over invested in this thread, I may have checked it several times today...... Blush. Grin

bluesouper · 19/02/2018 21:44

Just ask a mutual friend already!

Touchmybum · 19/02/2018 21:47

Had to laugh at a comment above along the lines of, you need more than 6 weeks to arrange travel, childcare etc. Well I got married back in ancient times 28 years ago, and guess what, folks had to arrange all those things away back then too.... and there were far fewer travel options, and it was more expensive! We sent out the invitations 6 weeks before, and everyone managed to attend, from various places around the world. If someone wants to be at a wedding they will make it work.

BrimFire · 19/02/2018 22:36

I'm having a small wedding abroad in the Autumn. I plan to send invites out by the end of the month. However 12 pepole have already booked their flights and hotel just by me verbally telling them the dates. Less than half of those are family members.
I'd was assured by everyone that we would have lots of people decline as it is a destination wedding.
I' m a bit scared to send the invites now in case everybody comes ( I put plus ones and children on the invites).

LoveInTokyo · 20/02/2018 06:37

Touchmybum if I gave people 6 weeks’ notice about my wedding, they would certainly end up paying more for their travel if not their hotels. Maybe they would still come but it would be more hassle for them than if I gave them a proper amount of notice. And why would anyone not do that when most couples book their venue months, if not a year in advance? It makes no sense.

AliceWhiting · 20/02/2018 10:29

"To invite" is a verb. The noun is "invitation". I am struggling to get beyond this. If I could, though, I'd go with those who suggest asking a mutual friend if s/he has had an invitation yet.

VileyRose · 20/02/2018 10:30

We didn't bother with invites!

Lizzie48 · 20/02/2018 11:52

The formal invitations don't need to be sent out earlier than 6 weeks. We booked the hotel and the rooms needed for our guests, we knew who was going to need to book a room so we took care of that.

And as it happened, they all came by car, so it made no difference to the travelling costs.

But here's the thing, you shouldn't be relying on the formal invitations only, not when the guests are friends and family. Smile

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 20/02/2018 18:26

They are just sending them out late. Maybe they texted you all and done messages didn't get through?

Sarahh2014 · 20/02/2018 18:30

It's normally 6 months notice in my experience

Angrybird345 · 21/02/2018 18:00

I think they have sent invites and you are going to be invited if there are spaces....

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 21/02/2018 21:08

What happened???

Notgotajarofglue · 21/02/2018 21:51

You're deffo on the C/D list

AnoiaUnstickMyDrawers · 22/02/2018 08:18

OP it's pointless asking someone the same 'tier' as you - they might not be invited either! You need to ask a dead cert - SIL / best man / bridesmaids / M/FoB/G best mate etc.

starryeyed19 · 22/02/2018 09:03

Good God, weddings are complicated things.

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