Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have lost the will to live

406 replies

lovelystar · 18/02/2018 03:15

Someone please give me some advice or something, anything to take my mind of how fuming I am.

I am being induced tomorrow at 11am, boyfriend went for a pint with a friend, fine, said he'd be back by 12, fine, gives me a chance to bath/clean/chill.

It's now 3am he has just stumbled in absolutely steaming, rang the doorbell constantly, waking me up even though he had his keys on him. He's been sick in the bedroom/bathroom knocking everything over. To top it all off I'm now on the sofa as he's diagonal across the bed snoring his head off and he's far to heavy for me to move him.

You know any other night I may have found it slightly amusing and left him to it. I just wanted tonight of all nights to not be woken up and kept awake and having to get up early to clean up all his sick before I come home with the baby. He will be a nightmare to get up in the morning and I don't think I can face the dramatics and moodiness of him when I have to get up and go and have a baby.

Would I be a complete bitch if I left him to it and went and had the baby myself and made him regret it for a long time. Or is that a step too far? It's my first baby and a high risk pregnancy. Sorry for the rant it's early/late and I'm angry.

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 18/02/2018 03:20

Hell no, it wouldn't be unreasonable of you AT ALL. I wouldn't want a smelly, hungover, shit-eating manchild for a birth partner. How DARE he behave like this? Am livid for you.

The only thing you can do is screen him out and concentrate on you and what lies ahead - sod him, you'll be meeting your baby soon. You need to look after yourself. Don't clean up his puke. He can do it while you're at the hospital, the lazy, selfish, irresponsible thundercunt.

Is he usually unbelievably inconsiderate?

WellThisIsShit · 18/02/2018 03:22

Oh God, you poor thing. I’m not sure what to advise you to do, as to be honest, that’s so awful I don’t think he should feature in your feature at all. But... what do you want to do?

It’s not your responsibility to get him up still drunk mixed in with hungover and probably acting like a completely selfish arse.

It’s your job to focus completely on you and have your wonderful baby.

He will be awful at the hospital. He’ll make it all about his hungover needs, not your needs. Or he’ll start an argument with you.

Do you have anyone else who could come with you?

Or do you feel up to going in alone?

I have a feeling being induced involves being very bored for ages until they induce you / the drugs kick in, then it can go very quickly and intensely.

How do you feel about doing this alone?

You may well get more monitoring and midwifes popping their heads round if they can see you’re on your own (vs ‘with’ a man who actually is being worse than useless)....

justanotheruser18 · 18/02/2018 03:26

I cannot believe he's done this the night before you are induced to have a CHiLD. An actual human baby. What a total d head. Do what the fuck you like. He'll be no use to you anyway. And tbh, there could have been dancing monkeys at my labour and I wouldn't have noticed. & my OH is the most wonderfully supportive person in the world. I doubt you'll miss him if you do decide to go it alone at the hospital. Can someone else go with you instead? Good luck bringing your beautiful little love into the world.

Nursejackie1 · 18/02/2018 03:27

I don't know what to advise just feel awful for you that he's done this on such an important night. Whatever you decide to do it won't make you a bitch, you have every right to react how you see fit. If you decide not to have him there have you got anyone else that can be with you? I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight and best of luck with the birth x

CircleofWillis · 18/02/2018 03:29
Flowers By no means should you clear up for him. If he is incapable in the morning just get yourself to the hospital and try to tune out his mess. Hopefully he will manage to sort himself out in time to help you during the birth.

I wouldn’t have been pleased at him choosing to go and drink in your last night together before becoming parents. And would be livid now too. You have every right to be fuming but try to calm down and find a peaceful headspace for later today.

Hopefully this is unusual behaviour for him and will become an amusing story in the future - far into the future.

Original poster
lovelystar · 18/02/2018 03:29

@green it's half and half most the time, I assumed though because of everything tomorrow he would have been ok tonight but clearly not!? I am not cleaning anything I'll wait for him to wake up in the morning feeling like shit, realise what he's done and then feel even worse for leaving me alone.

@thisisshit at the moment I don't know what to do, I won't stop him from being there if he's up/makes an appearance but I won't make an active effort either. I'd rather not do it alone and if he doesn't show buy the afternoon then I have a good friend who I think would be happy to be there for me. May be a bit awkward though as he's a guy friend and they will be doing things And looking 'down there' Blush.

OP posts:
VimFuego101 · 18/02/2018 03:30

What an arse. Would you rather be on your own? If so, definitelty leave him to it.

CircleofWillis · 18/02/2018 03:33

Good that you have a friend to help. He doesn’t have to look down below if it is too awkward for him but he will probably want to and won’t even notice your bits as it is a truly magical and privileged feeling to witness a brand new person enter the world.

Original poster
lovelystar · 18/02/2018 03:37

I honestly wasn't expecting replies at this time so thank you all :) I will try and get a good few hours sleep now and get up a few hours early to eat/chill/get ready slowly. I do have a friend who can be with me luckily even if it may be a bit weird as he's a guy friend from uni Grin my mum is away on a trip until Tuesday.

I've only seen him this drunk once before and that was around 10 months ago so I'm not quite sure what possessed him to be like this tonight Confused. I would love slightly less miffed if he stumbled in quitley and just passed out on the sofa! We will see what the morning brings anyway

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 18/02/2018 03:39

Best of luck tomorrow and don't forget to let us know when your bundle of squidgy delight arrives Flowers

OldBlueStitches · 18/02/2018 03:46

Good luck tomorrow!
Sleep as long as you can, don't worry about chilling in the morning. But absolutely don't clean a single thing up. You have far more important things to do!!!

I'm really sorry he's done this tonight. Think only about yourself and your needs from now until baby is here. Do whatever is best for you, and making things easier for him shouldn't come into that picture.

pootleperkinandposy22 · 18/02/2018 04:42

I'm so sorry! Can't believe he's done this & I'm not surprised you are fuming. How irresponsible!
If he doesn't usually do it, as you said, I'll bet he's panicking about the birth. The pressure of what's going to happen has probably got to him and he has just gone a bit mad. A friend of mine did something similar (admittedly not the night before the birth though!) and was mortified afterwards and said that was the reason. He did turn out to be a great dad in the end. So there is hope!

Having said all that look after yourself-don't make an effort for him, let him clean up & make plans to get to the hospital yourself.
You are the priority now. He shouldn't have any rights over what happens now. Take who you want with you-don't go alone, why the heck should you?! Can your guy friend go in with you? I'm sure he won't go anywhere near the business end. Grin

Induction can take ages (and be very boring-take something to read/do/someone to talk to) hopefully by the time you are in the throes of labour he'll have had time to sober up, realise what an idiot he's been and do a load of apologising.

Good luck I hope it all goes well for you.Flowers

tootssweet · 18/02/2018 05:03

You poor thing! I agree with everyone else, leave him to clear up his own mess & just concentrate of you & your baby. I was induced with DC1. It was 2 days of sitting around being poked & monitored & then things happened really quickly overnight between day 2-3. Bring light snacks, lots to read & we ended up playing hangman a lot too.

Good luck & hopefully this is all just a scared idiot blip. I'd leave a polite note asking him to clean up the mess & you will see him when he is fit to be on the delivery ward.

Dipitydoda · 18/02/2018 05:09

Best of luck. Just before you leave the house put some thrash metal on in a locked room, rub a freezing wet sponge in his face and remove all pain killing drugs from the house. Generally induction takes a while so he’ll be sober by the time the baby arrives. But please take someone you trust with you

Ohb0llocks · 18/02/2018 05:24

What an absolute knob!!!!

I was induced with DS. First pessary in at 9am on the Friday. He was here just before 7:30am Sat ☺️

Best of luck to you, hope everything goes smooth! Thanks

TeasndToast · 18/02/2018 05:25

Good luck. Do NOT clean up his puke for him. Like PP suggested, leave him with a bucket and sponge.

Then go off to have your baby Flowers

mogloveseggs · 18/02/2018 05:57

What a plonker! Hope everything goes well this morning and that he shapes himself quickly!

aurynne · 18/02/2018 06:12

I am concerned that you would have found this behaviour "amusing" at any other time, to be honest. If he can get away with it any other time, you probably shouldn't be surprised he continues behaving like this the rest of the time.

DunedinGirl · 18/02/2018 06:21

I think the night before his partner is due to be induced is pretty shitty, TBF...

OP, I would be raging in your position. You sound like you're dealing with it very reasonably. Best wishes for the birth!

billybagpuss · 18/02/2018 06:42

Wow, that is awful.

Will he feel horrid when he wakes up or is he generally selfish.

I think that was one last minute stress out on his part.

Very best of luck today. I have a feeling you have probably already cleaned up the mess but please don't. x

Angrybird345 · 18/02/2018 07:20

He’s an arse and I’d go to the hospital alone.

AgentProvocateur · 18/02/2018 07:37

Wow - what a prick your partner is. I don’t think I’d be able to forgive that easily. Do not clean up his puke - leave it for him to do. Good luck with the baby!

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 18/02/2018 07:41

Omg. Threads to this tune tends be “i’m 36 weeks pregnant and could potentially go into labour at any moment and he had 3 pints so he’s over the driving limit, I’m absolutely livid”

But fucking hell, getting shitfaced and puking everywhere the night before you definitely have a baby? What a twat!

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 18/02/2018 07:41

By the way, good luck today!

Upsidedownandinsideout · 18/02/2018 07:47

Absolute arsehole. Is he generally wonderful and this is a sudden thing due to nerves? Because if this is anything like his regular behaviour then he's sending you a very clear message that he is not ready to be a father.

Go to the hospital alone, tell the midwife what's up.
Don't clear up the sick, he can clear up, pay for an emergency cleaner, or if he really won't be able to do either and his mum is local, call her - she raised this prize and also the good thing about mums is that (unlike your mum or friends) she'll still love him despite his totally dickish behaviour.

Hope you have a fantastic birth and a wonderful new baby xxx

Swipe left for the next trending thread