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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have lost the will to live

406 replies

lovelystar · 18/02/2018 03:15

Someone please give me some advice or something, anything to take my mind of how fuming I am.

I am being induced tomorrow at 11am, boyfriend went for a pint with a friend, fine, said he'd be back by 12, fine, gives me a chance to bath/clean/chill.

It's now 3am he has just stumbled in absolutely steaming, rang the doorbell constantly, waking me up even though he had his keys on him. He's been sick in the bedroom/bathroom knocking everything over. To top it all off I'm now on the sofa as he's diagonal across the bed snoring his head off and he's far to heavy for me to move him.

You know any other night I may have found it slightly amusing and left him to it. I just wanted tonight of all nights to not be woken up and kept awake and having to get up early to clean up all his sick before I come home with the baby. He will be a nightmare to get up in the morning and I don't think I can face the dramatics and moodiness of him when I have to get up and go and have a baby.

Would I be a complete bitch if I left him to it and went and had the baby myself and made him regret it for a long time. Or is that a step too far? It's my first baby and a high risk pregnancy. Sorry for the rant it's early/late and I'm angry.

OP posts:
Oldieandgoldie · 18/02/2018 08:24

If he’s as bad as you say, there’s a chance the hospital won’t let him in anyway.

Good luck with today.

Neolara · 18/02/2018 08:25

Good luck for today op. I too would just go into hospital by yourself and leave your partner to it. If he his anything other than completely mortified by his behaviour when he sobers up, I would be pretty concerned.

Awrite · 18/02/2018 08:26

Hope you've managed to get some sleep.

You poor thing. What a horrible man. You will never forget this.

supersop60 · 18/02/2018 08:27

What an arse. I expect (as pp have said) that he went out for a drink and had an "Oh- God- I'm -going- to- be- a- dad" - moment.
However, you have to focus on your job, which is looking after the baby.
Go on your own, call your friend, and leave the idiot to clean up his own mess.
Good luck! Flowers

ImListening · 18/02/2018 08:27

Good luck OP.

I too would have found it funny on any other day but NOT on this particular night.

If he’s not normally like this then I’d just leave him to it. If he is & your MIL is anything like mine I’d leave him in her capable hands!

strawberrisc · 18/02/2018 08:28

Good luck for today. If this isn't usual behaviour I have a feeling your boyfriend will be mortified when he wakes up to find you gone, sick everywhere and remembers the night before. In the meantime, you enjoy your baby. This is still a joyous day.

millmoo · 18/02/2018 08:28

Good luck today op 💐💐💐

ilikefastcars · 18/02/2018 08:30

Good luck for today!
I would leave him too.
Is there a family member (of his) you can call? Get them to shame him into clearing up ?

GlitteryFluff · 18/02/2018 08:33

Good luck Thanks

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 18/02/2018 08:34

Id leave a big note saying "clean this shit up. Ive gone to have the BABY, which you seem to have forgotten. If you decide to come to the hospital, make sure you are clean and sober. you utter knob )
Good luck today, take someone you can trust.

Chuggachugga · 18/02/2018 08:39

Don’t have him there... my dh was massively hungover for my first and was pretty useless (lying down on the bed and puking in the corner of the delivery room!) and it feels like a complete let down. Definitely takes some of the specialness away. Maybe someone else can come with you this morning until he’s in a suitable state? You need someone upbeat and excited for you... he won’t be that person. He’ll be feeling sorry for himself and you’ll have to deal with that angry disappointment as well as having a baby.

flipperflop · 18/02/2018 08:40

Such good luck today!! Do not let him off with this one easily...he has acted like a knob!

lightcola · 18/02/2018 08:41

To put it into a bit of context,my dp wouldn’t have dreamt of going out the night before. This isn’t me being mean but telling you that’s not normal. I wouldn’t even leave a note and would just go. You will be more than fine on your own. Like a Pp has said, the dads aren’t much use at the time anyway. Best of luck and please let us know how you get on. We’re all routing for you.

NeatFreakMama · 18/02/2018 08:43

Good luck today OP, try not to stress too much about him/ the situation. You'll do great Thanks

Fitzsimmons · 18/02/2018 08:46

Good luck today OP. I'd have a long think about your relationship in the next couple of months.

Lovethebubbles · 18/02/2018 08:49

What an absolute gobshite. I would be worried about the long term situation, having a child with someone so selfish.
I hope it goes well for you to today OP. Enjoy your new baby

edwinbear · 18/02/2018 08:50

I like fuckery's note. Unbelievable behaviour, he doesn't deserve to be there. Go by yourself, he can sort himself out. Good luck!

GrannyGrissle · 18/02/2018 08:50

Sounds like DP had a last minute panic hence drunkenness, NOT an excuse though. All the best for today.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 18/02/2018 08:55

lightcola mine didn't go out the night before I was booked to be induced (I ended up not needing it, the sweep worked), but he did keep popping over the road to the pub while I was giving birth. Hmm Fucking lovely. Hmm

TotHappy · 18/02/2018 08:56

Git.
Serves him right if he does feel awful that he misses the birth. If he gets angry that you didn't wake him and let him miss it, he's absolutely unfair. He is not your responsibility, especially NOW.
Good luck!!

CaMePlaitPas · 18/02/2018 08:58

Oh no! Good luck with the baby, I'm so sorry that your partner has let you down. Is there anyone who could go and support you? Mum? Sister? Friend? Having a baby is so hard to do alone. I would be having serious words with him when he came round, he has a lot of making up to do.

beboldbebluntbehonest · 18/02/2018 08:58

Why would you do that to yourself when you are about to welcome your new baby into the world?
I can't think of anything worse than having a horrendous hangover when I was meant to be supporting my significant other whilst she had a baby.
I'm just completely gobsmacked by his unusual but incredibly shitty behaviour.
Good luck for today and it's probably best you call your friend to be with you. I wouldn't want my dh with me at the boring bits if he's going to be hungover and moaning as it'll slow your labour down! You need to be relaxed and calm. Thanks

Figgygal · 18/02/2018 08:58

He's a dick I'd be letting him support you today only if no one else could

Good luck today

Shnazzyshot · 18/02/2018 09:01

What an absolute fucking arse hole. Angry

My DH was an immature 22year old who lived down the pub when I was pregnant with our first, but there's no way in a million years he would have left me on my own (let alone have a drink) in the final few weeks.

I'm so angry for you.

Don't wake him up this morning. Get your friend, go have your beautiful baby and enjoy every second. Flowers

Please Let us know when your little one arrives once you're feeling up to it.

SilverHairedCat · 18/02/2018 09:02

He's a prick.... Hope you're ok??

Go without him, and good luck.