To think this was done on purpose by SIL

[Chocywockydodahhhhhh]

Was FILs 60th birthday party last night and SIL had done a photo board and DH had sorted out the music play list. We get to the venue and DHs aunt is looking at the photo board, I hear her say Chocy has been completely missed out, she then turns, sees me and says I think you might be a bit upset.
There are pictures of FIL, MIL, SIL, grandchild and other friends and relatives but not one of me.

There were lots of pictures of mine and DHs wedding but they are all pictures taken with their family and friends during the course of the day that do not have me on, there are even pictures of DH with DS Just after he was born but none with me on.

I have been married to DH for 13 years so been part of the family for a long time.

DH noticed and said he was going to say something but I said to not bother as the party was happening and nothing could be done. He said he was going to have a word today with SIL.

Anyone half way through the party FIL seems to notice and comes over and gives me a hug and says he is sorry and he does not know what SIL was thinking.
My and SIL do have a backgroung, she ran out screaming and crying when we got engaged, tried to get DH to leave it wedding reception to sit outside with her as she was feeling a bit ill. There has been loads of other stuff and I am thinking this has got to have been done on purpose.
DH is going to have strong words but I know she will just say it was a mistake

Well done - you gave no air to their nastiness.

Brilliant OP! What a nasty pair!

Well done for pissing on their crappy bonfire. Always do the oblivious thing and scupper their plans. Bet they spent ages plotting the photoboard slight imagining you would be devestated. Imagine the disappointment 😂. Saddos.

Your DH played a blinder there, OP. Brilliant. They will be furious. 😆

Though I wouldn’t be surprised if they find some excuse to show it to you, either bringing it round to show your dh how those particular photos bring back happy memories or you’ll be tagged on Facebook with the photos.

I agree with others that ignoring it completely is best and will probably annoy her more as a bonus. Drama queens feed off of drama, so let her starve instead.

I was fostered to give the "mother" something to do. It didn't end well. Please don't let an innocent child become a pawn in your SIL twisted world.

She sounds like she needs to be centre of attention within the family. How awful for you though. Putting pictures of your wedding up minus you is absolute insanity 😱I'd have had that WTF face on all day long.

What a twat, my mil & sil work hand in glove too.

Like you say, mil has made her choice but you reap what you sow & I would put money on sil withdrawing when the pil need care.

I just imagine mine with a sign over her head saying "knob"

I think she's my sil too! Sympathies op.

Definitely deliberate!

My SiLs did something similar a couple of years ago when they fixed a lovely large framed photo on the living room wall at PiL's house. It was of DP and his exW at their wedding. The family hadn't even liked her as she had run off with his friend, emptying the contents of their bank account and leaving DP in dire financial straits. They had only been married a short time and their whole relationship lasted approximately a quarter of the time that DP and I have been together. I am not in any of the photos, despite the wall being a portrait gallery of family, friends and neighbours.
I do feel that my SiLs should have been called out on it though, as they seem to have ramped up their backstabbing without any checks on their behaviour. That's only my opinion though, and I am well impressed with your DH's comment to MiL and that he could detect that she wasn't too pleased with his answer to her fishing.
Do you think that MiL really has no idea that you and your DH didn't look at the photos? I was wondering if there was a possibility that someone else could have mentioned it or if FiL had dropped a subtle hint.
Good luck OP, it's great that your DH has your back in this and that others see your SiL for the idiot that she is.

I've got a SIL like this. Ignore her. She's a right saddo by the sound of it.

Well played Mr Dodahhhhhh!

What SGB said, on both counts. Adoption panels will have seen countless attention-seeking nutters before, if she even gets that far.

Choccy
I’m sorry your mil is that much of a bitch too. My mother and brother gang up on me. In different ways as he’s Male and violent with me. But it’s denied. Good on your dh.

Greensleeves
You say that. Unfortunately I know of an attention seeking twat, who managed to adopt two little girls with complicated additional needs. Apparently it isn’t going well but the mother isn’t seeking help from anyone apart from elderly parents. Idk who the person is. It’s a friend of a friend (of a friend). We were out at lunch and my friends friend was explaining the situation.

I’d definitely speak to the relevant adoption agency.

Slightly muddled here- the woman seems to have behaved badly/oddly for many years . What is the point of your husband making comments now after all this time ? What’s changed to make him do something now ? On a practical point if your FIL and his family spotted your being omitted they don’t need it pointed out . If they didn’t spit I suspect they don’t care so best left I

Please - PLEASE speak to the adoption agency/SS and let them know of your concerns.

I think this is something you need to get control of.

My dads family treated my mum like this for over 20 years. It led to the breakdown of their marriage.

It's more because of the kids. As we got older we realised and it made us feel uncomfortable and upset.

As for adopting another child, she is nuts! I agree with the previous poster who said to tell the adoption people your concerns.

It's just silly & childish, don't give it any fuel by reacting .

Can understand it's hurtful but you can sleep easy knowing you're not the one with a black heart 🤷🏼‍♀️

Well done for rising above it! What a nasty pair!

"I am not saying a child would be better off in care then adopted by my SIL as MiL and FIL will step in"

They will be better off in Care. They will be in a Stable long-term placement. Not thrust upon anyone who'll have them.

She will be allowed to adopt if all of those that know her, lie for her. OP you've got to tell the truth.

My SIL is an absolute bitch, no ones likes her. Empathyse with you. Bit concerned with the fact she screamed and cried when you got engaged...oddly possessive of her brother.

Op we have photo dramas too, just had calender given out by aunt with pics of everyone in the family, even those deceased and my dc... But not one of me.

It makes me feel less obliged to bother with these people tbh

They are hard work anyway, sils bf is even on the there but not dh wife and partner of 14 years.

Without getting into all the other issues you've raised about your SIL, why not organise a nice dinner out with just you & DH, DC and PILs as an extra little birthday celebration for your FIL. Make sure to take photos of the occasion.

I'm not suggesting this as a petty revenge against your SIL (well that might be a bonus) but I've noticed with my own inlaws that unless DH and I make some extra efforts to do things like this, there are never any photos of us that get added to family photo albums/photo calendars (made each year by SIL) and family e-newsletters that my MIL sends out. It's not done deliberately by my inlaws, it's just that we don't have any dc and SIL/BIL have a large family so there are millions of photos taken and DH & I generally don't take many photos of ourselves. We're a bit invisible in the annals of my inlaws family photos!

mummy you have spoken of your brother and mum many times.

You know when pablo escobar... Evil drug baron who killed at least 3'000 people was shot by the police there is footage of mamma crying 'he wasn't the man they made out, he was a good boy, he built football stadiums'... If his mum can be in denial...

Piffle

Same here, not one photo of me in house! Not one photo of dh at our wedding!