Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have cancelled swimming?

218 replies

AntoniaCaenis · 15/02/2018 12:04

I have a rule that if DD (4) has an accident before swimming then she is not allowed to go in the water. She's 99% reliable in her toileting as long as she's paying attention, so I don't have her in a swim nappy.

Today we had to wait for the pool as it was busy for half term and she wet herself dancing about before we went in. We were right next to the toilet and I asked her twice if she needed to go - but no she was having too much fun to stop Hmm.

So I had to cancel swimming. Lost the money for my swim, car parking, and her pre booked swimming lesson. It took 40 minutes to change them back and wrestle a hysterical DS (2) out to the car. He had a full blown meltdown and had to be brought home semi clothed.

So AIBU to have caused a massive upset? ( and if you were in the vicinity of our local pool this morning you'll know exactly who I am!) should I have just ignored what was a small wee and gone swimming anyway or stuck to my guns?

OP posts:
Sleepyblueocean · 15/02/2018 13:01

Are disabled adults banned too?

Notasunnybunny · 15/02/2018 13:01

We have a toddler who obviously does wee in the pool and we have lots of guests with babies who obviously also do. Once older the kids learn to get out when they need to go but there will always be some wee in any pool. Because there are such small volumes of wee in comparison to water our chemical levels are still very low, the stuff they use in public pools is much much stronger. Our pool guy is quick to remind me the entire thing is filled with dinosaur urine anyway.

justforthisthread101 · 15/02/2018 13:02

YABU

FizzyGreenWater has the right way of doing it.

ilovegin112 · 15/02/2018 13:02

100 % the people watching won’t have thought twice about your daughter weeing but I guarantee they will be telling friends about the mad woman in the pool who dragged (not literally) her hysterical kids out because of an accident

MrsWoolly · 15/02/2018 13:03

Pools are full of wee, poo, sweat, hair, spit, blood and who knows what else, anyone who thinks otherwise is deluded.

The chemicals in the pool kill most of the nasties.

That said I wouldn't encourage weeing in the pool, but that wasn't really the ops problem, she was taking her frustration out on her dc.

We've all made that mistake, but trying to dress it up as anything else is just being dishonest.

Shadow666 · 15/02/2018 13:04

I’m never going swimming again 🤢

Lunde · 15/02/2018 13:04

Very harsh

MrsWoolly · 15/02/2018 13:04

Spartacus your a right tool aren't you?

Should disabled adults be banned too in your world?

Allfednonedead · 15/02/2018 13:05

By the way, given PPs’ comments about the hassle of weeing in a swimsuit, I thought I’d share my 4yo DD’s recent innovation: if she needs a wee while swimming, we pop to the loo and she just holds the gusset of the costume aside. Wee done, costume not touched, no hassle.
OP, I’m afraid I agree with the majority that YWBU, but It’s not a big deal. Next time, just make her go if she looks like she needs it.

ilovekitkats · 15/02/2018 13:05

OP, as many others have said, you could have rinsed the costume, showered DD and the chemicals in the pool sort the wee out anyway, not that there would have been any left after washing!. She is only 4. DD has had bowel and bladder problems, and the nurse stressed that they must never be made to feel like they have done something wrong.

I think you were BU and very hard on her and DS. The only time I have ever removed DC from the pool is when they were acting dangerously and would not stop, or when DD threw up (down the front of my swimsuit luckily for the pool, not so lucky for me!)

A friend went swimming the other day, and the pool had to be evacuated because a child pooed in the pool. Lots and lots of poo floating around. The parents were mortified.

blackteasplease · 15/02/2018 13:05

It's ott in my opinion too. I also tend not to do punishments that inconvinece someone other than the child in question!

I'd just have rinsed her off.

I think you should have her in a swim nappy if she's not reliable tbh.

SoTotallyOverThis · 15/02/2018 13:06

You didn’t lose the car parking and swimming charges etc
You actively chose not to use something you had paid for and I would not blame your dd for this.You could clearly see she needed to pee. Literally no child of this age will say they need the toilet in this scenario - they’re not lying they just don’t recognise they do above the giddy excitement of the pool.
I’m not sure what message you were trying to convey to either of your children here but if you think upon it I think you’ll find there were at least two other paths YOU as the responsible adult could have taken that would have enabled you to have all enjoyed the swimming and not havr been so pubicly shaming for you all.

UnimaginativeUsername · 15/02/2018 13:07

That said I wouldn't encourage weeing in the pool, but that wasn't really the ops problem, she was taking her frustration out on her dc.

We've all made that mistake, but trying to dress it up as anything else is just being dishonest.

Yes. I think that the OP was frustrated and embarrassed that she hadn’t intervened even when she knew her daughter needed the toilet. So she totally overreacted.

But equally, I think she was hoping that this thread would be full of replies telling her how brilliant she was for sticking to her ‘rules’ and make her feel better about it.

NerrSnerr · 15/02/2018 13:07

@blackteasplease a swim nappy doesn’t hold in wee.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/02/2018 13:07

Here's one explanation of why peeing in pools is bad.

www.popsci.com.au/science/medicine/peeing-in-the-pool-is-actually-really-bad-for-you-,463517

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/02/2018 13:07

A swim nappy is useless for wee.

A tankini or shorts/rash vest combo would he better though. Less hassle for toilets

MrsWoolly · 15/02/2018 13:07

Why are people so pathetic?

You know the swings at the park? Do you think toddlers have never wee'd/puked whatever else in them? Do you think the park keeper comes round every hour and scrubs it with bleach?

What about the grass at the park?

Look around you, the world outside your sterile home is filled with other humans and animals and it isn't clean.

MoistCantaloupe · 15/02/2018 13:08

This is going to be one of those 'AIBU', 'YES', "No I'm not'.

Also, not clear if you care about other people, or about your DD. Why not just pack a spare costume if concerned?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/02/2018 13:08

Spartacus your a right tool aren't you

No, but you are right selfish if you think it is OK to urinate in a public amenity!

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 15/02/2018 13:09

Why would you punish her for having an accident? Toilet training is going to take a lot longer in your house.

NutElla5x · 15/02/2018 13:10

Aww that's so mean.Your daughter just got overexcited.It was an accident and you punished her for it AND her brother too.YABVU!

Sleepyblueocean · 15/02/2018 13:10

Why doesn't anyone who is scared of pee in a public pool just stay out of public pools?

sleepylittlebunnies · 15/02/2018 13:10

I think having that rule in the first place is where you went wrong. You obviously felt that you had to follow through with the punishment attached to it. Also are you maybe a bit annoyed at yourself as with hindsight you knew she did need the toilet so you should have just insisted and put her on the toilet. I haven’t ever given a punishment for toiletting accidents and I don’t agree with punishing innocent third parties like you did to your son, it sounds very harsh.

It’s too late for today but consider changing the rule to you must sit on the toilet and try to have a wee before swimming.

MrsWoolly · 15/02/2018 13:11

'Ok to urinate in a public amenity'

Who has said that? You're just making things up now aren't you.

People have shower the child and the swimming costume.

anothernetter · 15/02/2018 13:11

Bloody hell Confused