Ex didn't return kids.

[AngryMom1]

So kids where due back to me at 3, when they did not come by 3:30 I rang my ex to find at what he was playing at and he told me he tought as I changed pickup arragements on friday that from now own I would be driving the 2hrs to pick them up.

I am furioius, what can I do to make him bring them back.

[dubmumof2]

Who moved away from the original town? And when? Has the halfway point pickup/dropoff operated since then?

Has something changed for you that an hour each way journey (every Friday and Sunday or every other Friday and Sunday?) now takes all day?

[coalwife]

You DO need a car! You need the car to maintain your half of the custody deal. I think you are in the wrong here.

[fusushumi]

But I want to give up my car, I don't need it anymore

But you do need it, don't you, to fulfil your part in this arrangement?

[ReanimatedSGB]

If you want to get rid of your car, can you get the kids to the halfway point by public transport? You are coming across as someone who wants to score points off your XP - did he leave you for someone else, by any chance?

[Leiaorganashair]

Also struggling to work out how 2 2 hour trips take up your whole weekend.

[ChasedByBees]

Could you take a train to drop them to a half way town?

[upsideup]

I think its pretty obvious the OP is the one who moved away, or she would of used that arguement against him by now.
I dont want the car is a pretty shit arguement compared to he is the one who moved 2 hours away

[mikeyssister]

Who moved?

[MinorRSole]

He's doing exactly what you did to him. Get off mumsnet and pick up your children.

[lalalalyra]

If you think 2 hours takes up your whole day then how do you think he's going to be able to deal with 4 hours?

If you've moved your kids 2 hours away from their Dad and now you are going to make contact either difficult or very limited (what time is he going to be able to collect them on a Friday with a 4 hour drive?) then you are being utterly unreasonable.

You are a parent. It's not all about you. It's also about your kids. You don't make that drive for your ex, you make it for your kids.

[SwarmOfCats]

So...you decided meeting half way was too time consuming and told your ex to drive the full distance on Friday. Which he did. Now he wants you to drive the full distance, in return...and you’re refusing. I think it’s pretty clear who’s being unreasonable (unless there’s a massive drip feed coming).

How much notice did you give him that you weren’t going to meet him? Who moved and put the distance between you?

[Ginormoustrawberry]

Clearly the OP moved away otherwise she would have taken great pleasure in telling us he did by now.

OP YABU, sort yourself out and stop being an arse!

[Tissunnyupnorth]

Why will you not say who moved away? It’s a bit of information that could solve your AIBU!

[MadMags]

Stop being a dickhead. Go and get your kids, and stick to your arrangement in future.

[OnionKnight]

It sounds to me as though you are being difficult OP, changing the arrangements at the last minute and wanting to get rid of your car even though you need it to facilitate contact.

It's no surprise that he's doing the same to you.

[honeylulu]

Who moved away? If it was you then you are out of order
If it was him then he ought to be doing more of the travelling ... but ... if the arrangement until now has been to share them it's unreasonable to just decide to change things with no discussion.

You could tell him to lump it and give him the headache of how to get them to school tomorrow when presumably he's working but that might backfire spectacularly. He might refuse to collect them at all next weekend, and thereafter.

[BakedBeans47]

OP, stop being a dick. It sounds very much like it’s your initial dickishness perpetuating his.

I take it from your refusal to answer the very reasonable and asked many times question about who moved away that it was you. Go and get your kids and quit whining about a situation YOU caused.

[ShowMePotatoSalad]

Him driving to pick them up and you driving to get them is essentially the same as meeting halfway, surely? Same amount of driving overall. Why would you say you're not doing any of the driving anymore?

[mumof06darlings]

Why doesnt one person do the two hour journey on the one day And the other person does it the next time or do a week on week off thing and that will give you more free time

[Muddlingalongalone]

I think you need to go halfway to pick them up this time, and then have a rethink.
If he's the one who moved away then the onus is on him to do the travelling but if it was you who moved away then onus is on you and in any case if this is changing your existing agreement then I don't think you can unilaterally make that decision. I also think (but check yourself) he could deduct the extra travel cost from maintenance.
In terms of it taking up your whole weekend could one of you do the full trip on a friday and one on a sunday or could you tweak the hours so the pick up is later on a sunday pm?

[GriefLeavesItsMark]

This has to be a reverse. Either that of a goady Tucker.

[mikeyssister]

Who moved?

Why should he care that you don't want a car anymore. Maybe he thinks his children need a car.

[ThePinkPanter]

Acting like a bellend on Friday has bitten you on the arse. A problem entirely of your own making I'm afraid.

[readysteadyteddy]

But I want to give up my car I don't need it anymore, I can walk to everywhere I need so it's a wasted expense.

Unfortunately you can't give up your car and you do need it, to take the children (half way) to see their father.

Who moved, him or you?

[Recallclock]

'I found the journey too much and pretty much took up all my Friday and Sunday,'

So you've doubled the time that he has to travel because you found it took up all your day but your ex now has to spend twice his usual amount travelling :S