Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Unflip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

AIBU?

Ex didn't return kids.

190 replies

AngryMom1 · 11/02/2018 16:48

So kids where due back to me at 3, when they did not come by 3:30 I rang my ex to find at what he was playing at and he told me he tought as I changed pickup arragements on friday that from now own I would be driving the 2hrs to pick them up.

I am furioius, what can I do to make him bring them back.

OP posts:

Report

PushMyButton · 12/02/2018 16:48

I'm currently considering moving further away from my ex, and if I do make that choice, I will have to accept that portion is my responsibility.

steff13 · 12/02/2018 15:49

She hasn't steff but I think posters are taking her silence on the question to mean that she was the one that moved.

I was replying to the person above me who said "Fuck him. If he moved he travels." There's no indication that he is the one who moved that I can see.

What's with the picture of the girl in the car seat, I keep seeing it.

It's a picture of a little girl that's been made into a really common meme. What it means is basically the face she's making; sort of disapproving/skeptical/disbelieving.

PattiStanger · 12/02/2018 14:06

What's with the picture of the girl in the car seat, I keep seeing it

What does it mean someone please

coalwife · 12/02/2018 13:17

It's disappointing there is still no sign of ok.

VileyRose · 12/02/2018 09:23

I would just go and get them.

Bbbbbbbb2017 · 12/02/2018 09:21

I like the mantra "if you want them you go get them" therefore if he wants them he picks them up and if you wanr them back you go get them back

Wintertime4 · 12/02/2018 09:00

I do think if you are the main carer for the kids, that is your main duty, to care for the kids.

It’s exhausting and hard work - being a single parent.

Being the non resident carer, often a father, then the primary responsibility is to support your kids, by time with them but also even more importantly- financially and emotionally supporting the resident parent. I think part of that is recognizing that your contact time is your responsibility. It’s one of the things you can take off the big burden of the resident parent - who will have to do the bulk of bringing up the child.

As the main carer it is your responsibility to do that as best you can. If it means moving to facilitate that better, like many women moving to facilitate work or be nearer Family, then that is putting your kids first.

I get that some parents just move to suit themselves. Most don’t though.

I also think if you are able to give and meet half way on the Dads contact time - as the main parent without it totally exhausting you - then it’s good to do it.

I do think both parents should be respectful. So no last minute changes. Being clear. Giving notice.

Worldsworstcook · 12/02/2018 08:22

Have to say OP that's a bit cold. You're losing your friday and Sunday but he isn't? That's s bit harsh and selfish. You moved away, you have the kids mon- fri and yet he's being punitively punished by you cause the car's an inconvenience.

Let him have the kids mon- fri and see how you like being dictated to.

TheMaddHugger · 12/02/2018 08:12

Ex didn't return kids.

Mummaloves · 12/02/2018 08:10

A friend of mine upped and moved 2.5 hours away with the kids, she expects her ex to go there and collect them on a Friday and bring them back on a Friday. Very unfair but her response to him is if you want to see the kids you'll have to do it. She has a brand new car and plenty of maintenance money but flatly refuses. The courts believed her lies that she doesn't have transport so backed her !!!

GrooovyLass · 12/02/2018 08:01

Another one here prepared to be full of sympathy for op but it does sound like she's BU. I take it she's not coming back...

NewDOOFUSfor18 · 12/02/2018 07:47

She hasn't steff but I think posters are taking her silence on the question to mean that she was the one that moved. Chances are they're right, other chances are that OP won't be returning to the thread.

steff13 · 12/02/2018 00:20

Where does the OP say he moved?

Valerrie · 11/02/2018 23:53

Fuck him, OP. If he moved, he travels.

My ex husband moved a 6 hour drive away, then expected me to meet halfway twice, every weekend.

I'm disabled and a busy teacher. He moved, his problem. Court told him the same.

He hasn't seen him since.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 11/02/2018 23:45

Is it not half term in most places then?

Nope. Another week to go here.

NewDOOFUSfor18 · 11/02/2018 23:37

Is it not half term in most places then?

GatoradeMeBitch · 11/02/2018 23:01

You might suggest to your ex that he makes the Friday journey and you do Sunday, or vice versa. One long journey instead of two short journeys frees up the other day and cuts out any potential waiting around?

BlackeyedSusan · 11/02/2018 22:52

dad ffs.

also feel v sorry for the children stuck in the middle.

BlackeyedSusan · 11/02/2018 22:51

I feel sorry for the dada in this as you have put him in a difficult situation. maybe he has not made the best decision to keep them, but I expect he is mightily pissed off at you changing the arrangements on Friday

PushMyButton · 11/02/2018 22:46

I'm my situation, my ex left. He then moved even further- all his choice. He has to travel.

Also, he has 12 nights out of every 14 to himself... Without the constant worry and responsibility of the kids. I need those few 48 hours to rest and reset and be me... And accepting that is part of caring for the children- because it helps me be better for them.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 11/02/2018 22:12

I really dont get why pp think it is a mums responsibility to drop kids to dad.

If she chose to move it is very much so.

It isn't for either parents benefit it's for the DC.

Some lazy ass dads just want their cake.

Some people think mother's can do no wrong, it seems.

Newnaime · 11/02/2018 21:42

I can't be bothered to go and find the exact quote but "if he wants to see them surely he should make the effort?"
If you want your kids back surely you should make the effort.
Nice work dragging your children into a shitty situation. Take it from someone that grew up with parents at each others throats, you may win a battle but you will lose your children if you continue revolving your life around point scoring instead of them!

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Butterymuffin · 11/02/2018 21:34

Doubt OP will come back given that the thread overwhelmingly disagrees with her view.

LizardMonitor · 11/02/2018 21:33

Got to love AIBU.

Posters saying ‘I don’t think tne OP is coming back’ at a time she would obviously be driving.

Posters saying ‘call the police’, asserting that they will go and get the kids: what a comforting, re-assuring, totally non-upsetting experience THAT would be for the kids.

Posters advocating leaving them there for him to get to school: ditto.

Poor kids.

AIBU does bring out the ^best* in MNers.

ThisLittleKitty · 11/02/2018 21:11

Not my experience of the police. My sister called them when her ex took her son and the police attended but wouldn't get him back despite there being previous violence (all they done was a welfare check and was satisfied her son was safe) she waited two weeks for him to return her son.

Unflip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.