An old friend is getting married at the start of March. Let's call her Jane. Jane and I used to have a good friend in common (Sally) but Sally and I had a major falling out three years ago. I tried to make friends and apologise, but Sally wasn't having any of it and said she just didn't want me in her life anymore.
I was very cut up about all of this. My depression and anxiety, which had been under check, spiraled back out of control and i became quite ill again.
However, in the interim, lives have moved on. Sally and I each married our husbands. We both invited Jane to our respective weddings, but didn't invite each other (unsurprisingly).
While life has moved on, I have not. If anyone mentions Sally's name i get very upset. Hot, tight throat, panicky, tears. I am not proud of this and i know it's not normal. But there we are.
Sally lives overseas. Around the time of her engagement, Jane told me that Sally couldn't make it to her wedding for various weddings, including distance. Jane was sad but understood.
I found out, last weekend, that actually Sally can now come to the wedding. (This is confirmed, not just gossip/guess-work).
I have (privately) been in bits since I found out. I cannot face seeing Sally again and don't want to go to the wedding.
I've been a nervous wreck this week and have had to take time off work. I have cried for days on end. It is not that i think she will be horrid to me at the wedding - I know she won't speak to me beyond a polite hello - i just cannot face seeing her. If i do, i feel like it will be another blow to my mental health (I am already a mess) and if i am being honest, i just don't want to put myself through that.
Separately, i am also horribly afraid of getting upset and causing a scene at Jane's wedding.
AIBU not to go, even though all there is to fear is my own reactions?
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AIBU?
Is it ok not to go to wedding?
289 replies
DexyMidnight · 04/02/2018 23:16
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