To ask the worst thing that's been said to you whilst DTD?

[6079SmithW]

I have been inspired by the highly entertaining responses to my original AIBU? thread!

AIBU to ask what's the worst thing that's ever been said to you whilst DTD?

I can't think of anything during, but someone once said 'the act of intercourse' just as we were about to, and therefore it didn't happen at all.

"The baby's been staring at us for 5 mins" Jolly good didn't think to mention that one straight away

‘Can we put match of the day on?’

I had an ex who would ask “how are you feeling?” Half way through and try to discuss daily chit chat. Shut up damnit.

An old friend was seeing a much older man, during a standing up session he looked down and make her look at 'The Beautiful Union'...... Oh my days I peed myself when she told me!! Never ever went to the shop they worked in again!!

This wasn’t during sex but I saw seeing someone who was Brazilian, we had been on a few dates and it has got to the point where sex would happen but I was unsure whether I liked him or not so I was glad to have my period and used that as an excuse not to have sex.

He meant forward and whispered in my ear in his Portuguese accent
“I don’t mind a bit of bluuuud.”

Urgh. My skin still crawls.
I never saw him again after that.

He started snorting like a pig and said he was hunting for truffles

damnitprice that would be really funny though!!

"Ffs, the dog's licking my arse".

My friend was DTD with her husband and they suddenly heard their 2 year old shout out, "faster Daddy, faster!"

Another friend had a boyfriend who liked to say, "i'm a Tiger. Grrrrr!"

Commented "Your juices remind me of runny snot," while going down on me.

coco 😂

Not a thing said, but leaning over to switch on R4 is something of a passion-killer.

‘So where do you see this going’ from a one night stand that I’d met about an hour before in a club.

Leading up to the action he stopped and said 'is it bin day today?'

@StoatsofDisarray Blergh! Hahahahaha!

Something on the lines of

'I have changed my mind, I don't think I should be with you'

stoat

Yeah... when he commented afterwards that it had taken me longer to get off than normal, I said "The snot comment didn't help," and he laughed and said, "At least it wasn't in lumps: they're called cum bogies." Apparently this was a widely-used term amongst his friends...

It was something I said....

I was giving DH a blow job and using my hand as well to make it over quicker

He told me to move my hand higher, so I did. Then he told me to move it lower so I did. Then he told me to move it higher again.

I said "Alright Brucie"

We laughed a lot, he lost his erection.

Then we recovered and got back into it. As I went down on his, I kind of shook his willy from side to side and said "G'game G'game"

Very funny. Very unsexy.

Bloody hell it's like wallpaper paste......

Wahahahahaha such funny comments 🤣🤣🤣

I love these threads they are hilarious 😂

Bubbles that's hilarious!!