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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask the worst thing that's been said to you whilst DTD?

400 replies

6079SmithW · 01/02/2018 14:05

I have been inspired by the highly entertaining responses to my original AIBU? thread!

AIBU to ask what's the worst thing that's ever been said to you whilst DTD?

OP posts:
hungryhippo90 · 04/02/2018 10:13

I had nothing too notable to add,
But just now, the supporting bit that goes through the middle of the bed collapsed, as we laughed, the dog came to climb on to see what had happened.
Pile of Hippo, DH and DDog. All clambering to get off the bed, giggling.

Now hoping DH and I can put it back together!

falsepriest · 04/02/2018 10:29

"I hope the Arsenal get a win later"

gudi2shoes · 04/02/2018 15:46

This very boring, missionary only guy was quietly going at it while I was contemplating his wallpaper and my escape from the most boring sex ever, when he just said, very matter-of-factly "is it ok if I put my finger up your arse" ShockGrin

booqueue · 04/02/2018 16:03

See the DM have picked up this thread as a story now

booqueue · 04/02/2018 16:04

Nothing to report from me but I am a type 1 diabetic who went really low during dtd doggy style I asked if he minded if I ate a few jelly babies while he carried on Smile he didn't mind but was a bit weird I must say

Pinklady1982 · 04/02/2018 17:13

Haha! Do you have the link booqueue?

NewMinouMinou · 04/02/2018 19:02

This may put me, but we have a rooster and following on from the contributions from dog owners, DP and I sometimes do voiceovers for our roo. Somehow he seems to know if we - ahem - need his advice and often starts crowing.
So, we have:

“Mate, what’re you doing? Stand on her back! Grab her neck with your beak! No wonder you only managed two chicks, you’re doing it wrong!”

As you were...

Ginburee · 04/02/2018 19:05

Skidding DM can't actually write their own articles and have to travel though mumsnet- how sad.
On the other hand the comments are worth a look.

MsHarry · 04/02/2018 20:28

So annoyed with DM.Do they even ask MN permission?

Primarkismyonlyoption · 04/02/2018 20:30

They dont need to its a public arena
Shit article though basically a screenshot and a few comments.

Ginburee · 04/02/2018 20:41

Agree Primark- screenshots fed. Such bad reporting. And yes I hate the DM but it is still really crap reporting.

Interesting reading the men's comments.

Ladymadness · 04/02/2018 21:31

well this was a good thread whilst it lasted Angry
we need a middle finger emoji on the smiley list for the daily fail.

PaintingOwls · 04/02/2018 22:13

And typos, fucksake

HereWeBloodyGoAgain · 04/02/2018 22:50

This will out me of any of my close friends are reading this!!
An ex kept saying he was going to do his ‘party trick’ to me 😷 which was fucking off-putting, so I was trying to delay it, but he was insistent I’d LOVE IT! So one evening he went down on me, and all I could hear was rustling, then a kind of slurping. It took a second or two, but I realised he was munching a couple of Trebot Extra Strong mints whilst trying to perform oral sex on me. It was fucking terrible, all I could think about was all the snuffling and grunting. After the longest minute or two ever, he asked “Are you loving this, babe?” And I was just like “Erm....no. Can you stop now please?”
Awkward 😳😂

CointreauVersial · 04/02/2018 23:19

"Oh my God, there's blood everywhere".

I quickly realised I wasn't on my period, and the blood wasn't coming from me - and there was a LOT of it. Poor guy had burst a blood vessel on his penis. He made his excuses and left....

Teabagtits · 04/02/2018 23:21

“Do you not shave your anus?”

Erm no, do you? (Apparently he did but I didn’t hang around long enough to find out)

BashStreetKid · 04/02/2018 23:24

I hate to say it but I told you so ...

Quote from Friday:

This thread is so going to be lifted by those pillocks at the Mail and Sun

Backscratchesforever · 04/02/2018 23:46

Dailyfail at it again

OFuckShitAndBollocks · 05/02/2018 00:14

thenightsky he didn't live in a place beginning with L and play the piano/keyboard did he????

RadicalFern · 05/02/2018 00:40

I'm laughing uncontrollably at all the ones where pets get involved...

CosyLulu · 05/02/2018 05:33

“My todger wants to meet your tunnel.”

Wtf?

Weallfeelbetterinthedark · 05/02/2018 07:34

"I love you!" (shouted by an ONS. While he climaxed.)

Errrr... no. I mean, I didn't know him at all (nor did he know me), and I couldn't think of a suitable reply. And I did NOT climax.

tiredpom · 05/02/2018 08:10

Not during but after ...... was having a quickie with DH in the bathroom. We thought DSS (then 6) was downstairs watching telly. Only to find him sat outside the bathroom door .. he looked up at DH and said were you brushing tiredpom's hair, it must have been really tangled she kept saying owch ! Blushpoor thing ....

saladdays66 · 05/02/2018 13:31

Dh then started narrating in dogs voice “oh, I...um...I just thought I’d move round here for a better view. Don’t mind me, I don’t get much”

Grin
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