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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD has a friend staying. And she's using us like a hotel!

311 replies

Singingtherapy · 27/01/2018 21:11

A close friend of my 15 year old daughter moved around 80 miles away in August. She and my daughter remained close and talk most days. This weekend she's come to stay with us for the first time, Friday to Sunday. We all prepared to welcome her, DD planned their itinerary, I filled the fridge with food and looked forward to hosting her for a weekend. Turns out her agenda was a little different. She arrived with plenty of money for taxis and has been out to see three different groups of friends, never inviting dd. DD is coping fine, just shrugging it off. It's not on though is it?

OP posts:
Hisnamesblaine · 27/01/2018 21:12

Nothing you can do now. Just NEVER have her back!

Bunchofdaffodils · 27/01/2018 21:13

That’s awful, your dd must be quite upset.

ConstantlyCold · 27/01/2018 21:13

That’s so rude. Absolutely not in at all.

gremlinsaremoreimportant · 27/01/2018 21:14

I assume that you're sending her home very first thing in the morning? Your poor DD.

lightcola · 27/01/2018 21:15

Your poor DD.

Idontdowindows · 27/01/2018 21:15

I would actually sit her down and ask her why she came to stay with you when she obviously didn't want to spend time with your daughter.

QuiteLikely5 · 27/01/2018 21:15

Ouch! Do not have her back

mirren3 · 27/01/2018 21:16

I'd be on the phone to her parents, they probably have no idea she is behaving like this. How is she getting home, hope you're not involved in that too.

BrazzleDazzleDay · 27/01/2018 21:16

From your title i thought you were going to say she has been a manky lazy wee shite! Thats beyond out of order, poor dd

RaeSkywalker · 27/01/2018 21:17

I wouldn’t have her back either!

HolyMountain · 27/01/2018 21:17

How did she travel to you?

Rude, inconsiderate and hard faced, never invite her again.

ZenNudist · 27/01/2018 21:17

What do you want to do?

Obvs never have her back!!

Id be asking "what are you girls doing together today?" In the morning and calling her out on her rudeness if she says she has more plans without dd. But then again maybe i wouldnt as i wouldnt want to upset dd!!

saladdays66 · 27/01/2018 21:18

Wow, how very ... confident. And odd. Not sure what i’d do...

SumThucker · 27/01/2018 21:18

Cheeky as anything! Your poor daughter.

Putyourdamnshoeson · 27/01/2018 21:21

That's shit. Your poor dd.

LemonSqueezy0 · 27/01/2018 21:21

That's extremely rude!

Speak to your DD about how it's made her feel and how she wants to handle it - let her take the lead while being supportive.....

Goldmonday · 27/01/2018 21:23

Your poor dd!!!! Friends like this she can really do without

Original poster
Singingtherapy · 27/01/2018 21:23

Good, I'm glad it's not just me. I get that she wants to see other people but she should know that she needs to either make plans to come again and see them separately or invite my daughter!

OP posts:
Chugalug · 27/01/2018 21:25

Fuck that..send her home tomorrow

LouHotel · 27/01/2018 21:25

You need to inform her parents. She's 15 year old she's actually supposed to be in your care.

How do you know its friendship groups and not some boy/man she's been talking to online.

Foxedme · 27/01/2018 21:26

Nasty! I wonder if there's a boy involved...
like me at 15Wink

Original poster
Singingtherapy · 27/01/2018 21:27

No I definitely won't have her back. She's travelling back by train, it's an easy journey, I'm taking her to the station tomorrow lunch time. DD is generally happy and has got some lovely friends. I'll encourage her to cut her losses with this one.

OP posts:
rocketgirl22 · 27/01/2018 21:27

I would cut it short, call the mother and arrange to have her sent home (doesn't much matter the excuse. I doubt you will want to see her again) don't allow her to disrespect your dd and abuse your hospitality. Nothing wrong with getting shot of her tomorrow and invite your dd's real friends over Sat night.

BrutusMcDogface · 27/01/2018 21:28

I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from saying something to her. How rude! I'm glad your dd seems tough enough to shrug it off.

anothernetter · 27/01/2018 21:28

I would take her to the side and have a quiet word with her to be honest. She is using your house as a hotel and is treating your daughter like shit.