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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD has a friend staying. And she's using us like a hotel!

311 replies

Singingtherapy · 27/01/2018 21:11

A close friend of my 15 year old daughter moved around 80 miles away in August. She and my daughter remained close and talk most days. This weekend she's come to stay with us for the first time, Friday to Sunday. We all prepared to welcome her, DD planned their itinerary, I filled the fridge with food and looked forward to hosting her for a weekend. Turns out her agenda was a little different. She arrived with plenty of money for taxis and has been out to see three different groups of friends, never inviting dd. DD is coping fine, just shrugging it off. It's not on though is it?

OP posts:
HolyMountain · 27/01/2018 21:29

Is she out now, without your dd?

RitaConnors · 27/01/2018 21:29

Lou is right. I’ve a 14 year old and if she went to someone’s house for the weekend I’d expect her to get with the other child. Not off gallivanting off on her own.

TheQueenOfWands · 27/01/2018 21:30

Book her an actual hotel.

Let Lenny Henry have some of her plentiful money in exchange for a bed.

Jaxinthebox · 27/01/2018 21:31

oh wow! CF is starting early with this teen.

BlueMirror · 27/01/2018 21:32

I would speak to her parents under the guise of checking that it's ok with them for her to go off and do her own thing as she hasn't really spent much time with your dd. Hopefully they will give her a ring/earful for being so rude.

BlueMirror · 27/01/2018 21:33

Also has your dd told her she's like to spend some time with her doing something while she's here?
Awful manners not to invite your dd to go out with her other friends though and to just use you literally as a hotel!

Tistheseason17 · 27/01/2018 21:35

Wow. I'd be having a word with her.

BewareOfDragons · 27/01/2018 21:36

I would have sent her home today. How rude!

Viviennemary · 27/01/2018 21:37

I think that is just so rude and cheeky. I'd say I think it was time you were going home now because we now have other plans and take her back or arrange for her to be collected.

52FestiveRoad · 27/01/2018 21:37

Have you phoned her Mum and told her what she is doing? I would be mortified. Also, you are responsible for her and she is going off with other people, if something happens it will come back on you. I would not be allowing it, tell her parents you are sending her home early and tell them why!

Rudi44 · 27/01/2018 21:37

Yes she is a CF. I like the idea of phoning her parents to check that they are cool with her going off alone. Then I would drop her at the station in the morning and encourage your DD to distance herself.

Mrsmadevans · 27/01/2018 21:37

Your poor DD . I think she is prob a little hurt by this behaviour. I would be ok to her but never ever have her back. Lesson learnt.

ilovesooty · 27/01/2018 21:38

I sure as hell wouldn't take her to the station. Let her use her taxi money.

BlueMirror · 27/01/2018 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenTulips · 27/01/2018 21:38

Wow! That's in what friendship over than! Cheeky mare

BlueMirror · 27/01/2018 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Singingtherapy · 27/01/2018 21:39

Yes she's out now without DD. I won't cut it short as long as she and DD do something together tomorrow, then DD will at least end the weekend with a nice experience.

OP posts:
monkeywithacowface · 27/01/2018 21:40

I'd let her pay for her own taxi to the train station and tell her why!

Greensleeves · 27/01/2018 21:40

You say she and dd talk most days?

Are you sure she and dd haven't cooked this up between them, to enable friend to see a boy her parents don't know/approve of?

FucksBizz · 27/01/2018 21:41

Oh dear, poor DD. I'd find an excuse to send her packing first thing in the morning, cheeky cow. I wouldn't encourage and facilitate this friendship any further.

Glad DD is coping ok and has other nice friends Flowers

HolyMountain · 27/01/2018 21:41

So she has sat and eaten with you all then got ready and gone out?Shock.

What a madam, neck of a giraffe!

MadMags · 27/01/2018 21:42

I would tell her parents that I wasn't having her back and why. Your poor Dd.

MaisyPops · 27/01/2018 21:43

would speak to her parents under the guise of checking that it's ok with them for her to go off and do her own thing as she hasn't really spent much time with your dd
Same.
Call up just to check as you 'don't want to overstep but you were expecting to see more of her and she seems to have been out an awful lot without DD'.

I think there's a boy involved and home probably don't know.

MayFayner · 27/01/2018 21:44

greensleeves yes I thought similar but I would imagine my DD (16) would leave the house and return with the friend as a cover if she was up to these kinds of shenanigans.

Sure you'd need eyes in the back of your head, etc.

FucksBizz · 27/01/2018 21:44

Ah, just seen that you don't want to send her off early. I'd at least tell her she was rude, she needs to know for the future.