Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if knowing all you know now - would you still have had dc?

186 replies

RedHareWithBlondeHair · 23/01/2018 21:00

I'm basing this on the other thread wrt would you still have married or had a ltr with your dp/dh and the other thread about being happy with your lot. It's made me think and reflect.

But I'd just like to ask - knowing everything you know so far and your life so far would you still have had children knowing everything you do thus far?

I'm in a bit of a difficult position so I'd really welcome any and all opinions. Just for a chat tbh.

OP posts:
Shimshiminysheroo · 23/01/2018 21:04

Yes without hesitation. And I find it really fucking hard.

Brakebackcyclebot · 23/01/2018 21:05

Yes. But with a different man.

Shimshiminysheroo · 23/01/2018 21:06

Sorry to expand... Parenting and being organised and a good cook and cleaner and all of that doesn't come easily to me... I weep with frustration on many days. But without hesitation and without question they are the best thing by far that has ever happened to me

leiaorganashair · 23/01/2018 21:07

Yes. I wish I had earlier because DD is going to be an only child at this point, I had her when I was in my 40s. But I didn't leave it that late deliberately. I also wish I had waited for DP because DD's dad is a waste of space, but again I didn't know that at the time.

2birds1chick · 23/01/2018 21:07

100% yes. I fought long and hard through 6 years of IVF for my girl, and she's everything I hoped for and more. My life has changed in almost every way since she came along, but the positivity she brings to my life outweighs any difficulties 100%

Shimshiminysheroo · 23/01/2018 21:07

Haha OMG totally with different man. Or without a man at all, in all honesty

jimijack · 23/01/2018 21:08

Now, I'm older & wiser, yes I would.

However if you'd asked me 10 years ago they'd would have said absolutely no, no way.

TheSockGoblin · 23/01/2018 21:08

Yes. 100% - even though it's been hard.

lightcola · 23/01/2018 21:08

Yes but I would have done lots differently. Like get married and buy a house first. Had more fun and experienced more before hand. I love my children but I do wish I’d done more with my life before.

RaindropsAndSparkles · 23/01/2018 21:08

Yes. My only regret is not beinv brave enough to try for a third after many miscarriages.

GreenSeededGrape · 23/01/2018 21:10

Yes. I would have had dd1 at 30 instead of 33. I would have moved home though when I needed the help. Dd1 is now 7 and I'm finding it hard to make the move I so desperately want!

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 23/01/2018 21:11

I think I would because ds is just the most gorgeous thing in the world. But having him and now being pregnant with dd has messed with my mental health so badly that it's not a totally straightforward 'yes'. I'm hoping that I will come out the other side of this and will one day be able to say 'yes' without hesitation.

AnyFucker · 23/01/2018 21:11

Today, no

kaytee87 · 23/01/2018 21:12

Yes, I would.

Are you ok though op? Lots of people telling you it's the best thing they've ever done might not help.

Placeboooooooo · 23/01/2018 21:13

Definitely, my house always looks like a bombs gone off and I find that hard to deal with but given the chance I would never go back and change a thing.

surlycurly · 23/01/2018 21:13

No. Confused I love them dearly but my life is so far removed from what I thought it would be that I feel like it's crushing me into the ground. Having Aspergers does influence This though as I'm constantly overwhelmed by having to meet their needs all the time. Fuck that's harsh saying it out loud

StandardRussian66 · 23/01/2018 21:14

No I wouldn’t.

CheeseGirl4 · 23/01/2018 21:14

I know you didn't ask this, but as someone who DIDN'T have children and no longer could if I wanted to, I don't regret it.

Anymajordude · 23/01/2018 21:15

I'd have had them when I was younger and I'd have bought a house younger too when they were cheaper.

Trashboat · 23/01/2018 21:15

Definitely yes. We opted for one and 9 years later, we have no regrets and if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't change a thing.

BarryTheKestrel · 23/01/2018 21:15

Yes but I would have sorted our finances out first. It's been a struggle. More of a struggle than it should have been.

incogKNEEto · 23/01/2018 21:16

No.

MumW · 23/01/2018 21:17

100% yes. But...
I wouldn't have been ill so the gap between DC was smaller so I had less time out of the workplace so I wouldn't be sat at home now because I'm either over qualified for jobs or not got recent enough experience/out of date for jobs using my qualifications.

AnyFucker · 23/01/2018 21:18

When they were still babies, toddlers, young chidren....yes

Now they are young adults...no, it's fucking aging me and it's terrifying

Failingat40 · 23/01/2018 21:18

No. It's been a struggle, massively stressful and impacted negatively on every aspect of my life.

I dread the future. My child is 14 and i worry constantly for his prospects, and my sanity.

I despair at others I see with sweet loving children who behave well and are kind to others.