To ask if knowing all you know now - would you still have had dc?

[RedHareWithBlondeHair]

I'm basing this on the other thread wrt would you still have married or had a ltr with your dp/dh and the other thread about being happy with your lot. It's made me think and reflect.

But I'd just like to ask - knowing everything you know so far and your life so far would you still have had children knowing everything you do thus far?

I'm in a bit of a difficult position so I'd really welcome any and all opinions. Just for a chat tbh.

Correction, I'd have stopped at my first daughter. I adore her and would walk over hot coals for her. I cannot bond with my youngest at all. If I could go back to a time before I got pregnant, no way would I have had a second child.

This is a very honest thread with mixed responses.

I haven't had kids, always wanted them, I thought I'd have at least two but I never met anybody I wanted to make babies with when I was able to.
I'm infertile now so can't have any. I thought I'd come to terms with my infertility but a recent experience has triggered my emotions and I've started to feel sad about it again. I think I need to go back to counseling.

The only useful advice I can offer is if you have no experience of being around babies/toddlers then try and spend time with a few before you have your own children. My friends that have really struggled with being a parent are the ones that had no exposure to babies/children prior to having their own. This is something they've all said to me. I was around loads of babies and toddlers as a teenager so I had a very clear idea of what it entailed. During my fertile years I was very very focused on not becoming a single parent or choosing a man that just wanted a child without the responsibility of being a parent.

No.
I love my children but having them affected my mental health and my career.
I chose to have them but I didn't know what i was choosing tbh.
I naively thought I would be able to carry on with all the things I wanted to do which were not big things. I never wanted to be an astronaut or anything like that.
I divide my life into before and after. Before I was brave and clever and had ambitions. After I am a waste of space with no confidence and have no life at all. I feel like the invisible woman.

I'd be interested to know the proportion on posters who said yes, whose children were pre-teens.

It's a yes from me, it's been so stimulating and interesting watching these people emerge from those cute little blobs all those years ago.

But late teenage years were horrendous (and only now are we seeing any kind of light).

Bucking I said yes and I have a pre-teen. Now I'm feeling slightly nervous about about the late teen years.

MrsDraper I hope you're okay

No I love them dearly but honestly as someone has said above I didn't imagine myself as a single parent in a one bed flat struggling to keep afloat despite working with no support.

100% yes

Yes absolutely!! My children are the most life-affirming thing that ever happened. Yes it's hard work, but I can't imagine life without them. Everything else is insignificant in comparison.

Yes absolutely. Although if there was an option for skipping the first 18 months of their lives I'd take it!

NurseButtercup that is interesting actually.
I had been around masses of under 5s and worked in schools. I knew how to look after babies and toddlers with my eyes closed.
By the time they were at an age I had no experience of I was a divorced struggling single parent with health problems and no support. It was bloody tough if I'm honest and as someone said above affected my mental health.

Don't get me wrong I love them massively, I wouldn't be without them but actually given my time again I wouldn't have children.

Yes I would still have had my DC without a doubt. There are moments where they can drive me round the bend but there are also moments where they give me memories and feelings of overwhelming love and I couldn't imagine not having them.