WIBU to invoice MIL for these replacements?

[Sprinklestar]

Tricky one. Stayed with PIL before Xmas, headed to my family and then back again for New Year with PIL. Left a small case of things at PIL’s, no issue there. Get back to find MIL has taken it upon herself to go through my stuff and wash it. In the process, she has damaged a couple of things (think shrunk in the dryer). They’re beyond saving. At the time I discovered this I was livid but just said thank you for trying to help but nothing (a) needed washing and (b) these things are now ruined. She muttered something about sending her the bill for replacements. I put said items in the kitchen bin...

DH tried to talk to her about what she’d done but all she’d say was that was how she washes her things - no apology, apparently I should be grateful that she’s done it (except - again - nothing needed washing!! - and not to mention the total invasion of privacy!). So, I went shopping yesterday and it’s cost £75 to replace the items. Dare I send her a bill? WIBU to do so? She has form for this kind of thing and ruined SIL’s sports gear not so long ago. She’s not got dementia - she just thinks she knows best!

Grenhighlighter - you really think that going through someone else's stuff, that had been left in a guest room, in a shut case, and then laundering stuff without need, without being asked to, and ruining them - you really think this person is being nice?

God help you.

How do you know that your FIL didn’t try the clothes on .......:-)

How tall is MIL? Some MILs are tiny. You could shink her instead - she only needs to fit in an average dishwasher and it's a done deal according to today's top threads. Wrap her in a LOT of foil to prevent water ingress, smack that HOT WASH button and it's goodnight Vienna.

If you send an invoice (regardless of whether she was in the wrong or not), you will look like an arsehole.

If she's a manipulative person, she will make sure you look like an arsehole.

So basically, you won't gain anything.

Next time you visit, keep your case locked

Keep the moral high ground.

Don't send her an invoice.

The moral high ground is almost always the best place to be.

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You don't have much luck with laundry do you? Wasn't it you who had the husband that boil washed all your delicate hand-wash lingerie?

Is greenhighlighter the MIL?

GreenHighlighter - you really think that going through someone else's stuff, that had been left in a guest room, in a shut case, and then laundering stuff without need, without being asked to, and ruining them - you really think this person is being nice?

God help you.

^^This.

It's not nice, it's rude and intrusive and she had no business doing it. I would be raging.
And I wouldn't stay there again.

Buy red socks and wash her whites 'just to be nice'

I can't bear people doing my washing - leave it alone it's bloody rude!!!

I wouldn't invoice her.

I might find myself unable to afford the petrol for the next scheduled visit to her house due to the unexpected cost of replacing a suitcase full of clothes.

This is getting me riled up just thinking about it! I would be SO annoyed good on you for not smacking her one OP, you are a better woman than I

I would make my DP firmly confront her about why she didn't wash his clothes.

Invoice her son.... Let him deal with the fall out!

Green highlighter the mil wasn’t being nice. She wasn’t asked and had no need. She did it to prove something and it backfired. If you were my mil and tried smearing jam on me i’d Fucking bury you! I’m younger, stronger and faster.

fluff

The jam-smearing is a strange threat. I imagine her waiting to get into smearing-range then stealth-jamming, Peter-Cook-Style.

I feel your rage. My MIL took it upon herself to do my washing when she was visiting and I was out at work. I was so that she’d gone though my used pants. But worst of all she washed my favourite cashmere cardigan on 60! I am still bitter about the waste 6 years later!

But I accept it was kindly meant and so gritted my teeth and thanked her for destroying £150 worth of clothing. If you send her a bill she’d be unlikely to pay it and all you’ll have is bad feeling. One to let go.

Did you invoice your DH when he did the same in November?

@ptumbi I wonder if the smearing will be with a knife or hands. I’d fight right back if anyone tried to do that!

GerdaLovesLili

You don't have much luck with laundry do you? Wasn't it you who had the husband that boil washed all your delicate hand-wash lingerie?

I remember that thread! OP got her knickers in a right twist over that

OP, your clothes and undies are like a magnet to others who just want to wash them for you

Thanks to the PP who decided to link in my previous thread. I always thought that was seen as pretty bad form on here... Anyhow, sadly, yes, FML, that was me, and ironically, one of the items that was damaged was a replacement for something I’d already replaced due to DH being a numpty. At least now I know where he got his inability to wash clothing correctly! Seriously though, I’m almost 40. It’s fucking weird for my MIL to wash any of my stuff, let alone underwear! Thank God I’d taken most of it with me or no doubt I’d have been replacing more replacements...

Seems this thread is going the same way as the other (the main reason I didn’t link it myself). How very dare I have nice things and not want them ruined by idiots who can’t read washing labels? 😂

Green highlighter that "smearing jam" post made my day! 😂

And double 😂😂😂😂 at the fact OP's DH ruined her underwear a few weeks ago. No wonder she's fed up

(Surely nobody would troll about something like this? 😂 I'm inclined to believe!)

I wouldn't bother because of hurt feelings but know exactly how you feel. Inevitably my mil will wash something red in with ds white things every bloody year! I now bring our crappiest clothes with us when we stay with them so I can just pitch it if (when) it gets ruined.

Not at all OP, you're entitled to nice things. I'd just keep your undies under lock and key in future
MIL does sound like a bit of a nightmare though. I'd not be happy about her routing through your things.
Maybe she thought they were too sexy and wanted to spoil yours & DH's fun?

My MIL does this all the time. I'm no house keeping expert myself so I rarely pass judgment on these matters but let's put it this way, she is garunteed to ruin every single thing that she washes. But she just won't bloody stop washing other people's stuff. She knows she's hopeless but she just won't stop no matter how much we beg her. I just try to avoid leaving anything in her house because there is nothing else that can be done.