How do you deal with kids who do this?

[CheapSausagesAndSpam]

Visiting child...every time she's here and I am prepping for example a sandwich or bowl of icecream or whatever....she will say quickly "Can I have that one?"

And point to whichever is slightly larger.

Bowl of icecream, slice of cake, chopped up salami....doesn't matter what it is.

I think it's rude...should I say something? DD and the girl are both 10...
Today they were at my house (we're in Oz) and another two little girls were also playing and the girl did it again and DD then followed suit.

I should have said "DD we don't try to grab the biggest...it's not polite..." but because I've never called her friend out on it, I felt I couldn't.

I will need to say something now DD has begun it...

You need to call them both out on it, if you ask for the biggest then you get the smallest in our house

Why don't you make he all the same size?

Make sure they are all the same size?

It's not up to you to teach your guest manners. Why can't she ask for the one she wants? Your wierd.

Also, fat shaming a 10 year old. shame on you.

(I would want the biggest...it's not an unreasonable thing to want for most/many people where food is concerned!!!)

Not sure why this is such an issue but if it bothers you that much just hold the plate above eye level and ask 'left or right?'

You sound a bit mean to me.

Where on earth has the OP fat shamed?

Seriously why is this a big deal? She's a kid. Give her the bigger one and top up the other one. Have a word with your dd in private about manners.

I’d try and make them even sized but I wouldn’t mind if the guest gets the biggest one.

You can explain to your DD that she shouldn’t do it though?

At 10 they are old enough to do the cutting. One cuts/serves the other chooses

I'd probably keep it light-hearted. 'Hold on a minute! I need to even everything up here.' Then do that.

My sister has two boys who when growing up we're constantly arguing about who got the most / biggest portion, started with breakfast and continued all day apparently. Does this little girl have siblings and this happens at home? I don't think it's being greedy, It's not her fault her parents aren't correcting her on it.

'No you chose first last time, so which one would you like?' Probably works best initially when there is more than just the two of them.

'Ok, we have this cake to share between the four of you. I want you to cut it up BUUUUTTT - you will get the last slice so try to make all the slices as equal as possible, you don't want to be left with a smaller piece do you?' .

You might need to supervise them a bit more closely than you would otherwise a 10yr old around food.

I was brought up to believe you got what you were given! I don't think she's dreadful or anything...she's obviously never been taught not to do this....but I think you take what you're given and say thank you.

As for the people saying "Make everything equal" it's not always easy!

Also...when things look the same she will still do it...I find it annoying.

I don't want DD doing it either.

This wouldn’t work for every kind of food but we had a ‘strategy’ when my siblings and I were younger for these kinds of things. (And I suspect that I might need it for DDs as well...)

Someone would get to divide the food (cut the peace of cake, salami etc) and the other person/people would get to pick the piece they want.
This way we’d keep each other honest.

Serve it to plates in front of them. Rather than, presumably, all the plates in one place. And tell DD on her own that you don't grab or ask for one dish, you get what you're given.

I feel like I've missed some social conditioning here, why does it matter?

“No, they are both the same” should suffice.

I didn’t see any fat-shaming in the OP

Ullu it's thoughtless....and a bit selfish. Can't you see that? The same person always making sure they get more than the others.

In my house, the kids take turns to pick first. So perhaps say, 'you picked first the last time, it's so-n-so's turn to pick first now'. That way, they'll get a chance to pick the biggest share first.

Inside I don't want to encourage them to choose first. I'd rather they learned to be more egalitarian.

The portions are pretty much the same...isn't it nicer, at TEN to be able to put others first?

AlbertsChair has the right strategy for this rather boring phase - one serves the food out , the other chooses.

Really can’t understand why you don’t make the portions the same size. I don’t think I could get upset over this.