How do you deal with kids who do this?

[CheapSausagesAndSpam]

Visiting child...every time she's here and I am prepping for example a sandwich or bowl of icecream or whatever....she will say quickly "Can I have that one?"

And point to whichever is slightly larger.

Bowl of icecream, slice of cake, chopped up salami....doesn't matter what it is.

I think it's rude...should I say something? DD and the girl are both 10...
Today they were at my house (we're in Oz) and another two little girls were also playing and the girl did it again and DD then followed suit.

I should have said "DD we don't try to grab the biggest...it's not polite..." but because I've never called her friend out on it, I felt I couldn't.

I will need to say something now DD has begun it...

LIzzie I'm not "making a big: about it. I posted but people like you keep coming on to offer the SAME advice as multiple other people and then asking me why I'm "so bothered:

frigging annoying.

Why did you bother? Didn't you see all the PP who said the same as you??

Let one cut and the other choose - that way they are always identical.

why aren’t you taking any of the advice?

Have you taken anything from this thread?

Jennifer didn't your Mum stop your Dad? My DH used to do that when my oldest was a toddler...SO rude. He'd say "I thought she was finished" he soon learned to keep his hands to himself AND realised how entitled it was.

I don't think the posters saying just cut/serve even portions have experienced a child who is like this.
My two youngest could argue one of two identical glasses with a picture of a lion on has a bigger nose and is therefore more desirable. Even if the portions were weighed and measured there would still be one that for whatever reason appears more desirable and then the other/s follow suite.
This behaviour is not condoned by the way, I either hand out bowls and serve, do the one cuts one picks or just point blank say no this is your bit. I've told them I'd be mortified if they did this at friends houses.

And I think you are “making a big thing”.

It’s a young girl who visits your house. She’s 10, youre an adult. It’s very, very easily dealt with.

Lizzie oh bugger off. HAVE you NOT read the thread where I took two poster's advice on?? The conversation then moved on but people like you keep chipping in and saying the same thing.

great, Good luck!

Thanks!

I have a little guest who does this. He is like this in many other ways too. Far too familiar, e.g. touching objects he shouldn't and accidentally breaking them, asking for snacks when we just had dinner, asking for his programme on TV even though he is playing Lego with friend in another room and the TV is for the toddler who is without a friend, telling me how I should open a packet etc etc. So fecking irritating!! He is a lovely boy deep down though!! Just the age I guess...

Apparantly my Uncles were like this when my Mum was little, if my great gran was there and someone said "I want that bit" she'd say
"no that's mine love" and put her false teeth on top of it!

ifNot I have a teenage DD. I'm perfectly aware that things get trickier thanks.

OK. You just seem very clenched about all this! Some of my dc friends can be rude. I just say " oi, mind your manners!" I cant imagine dwelling on it.

I think the whole gender thing is really interesting here - as pp said would this be such a thing if it were boys?

I’ve had this happen with a friend of my similar age DD. Guests always get first dibs. Then when friend left I pointed out to DD she was not to do this when she is a guest.

Ifnot
Sigh.

I've taken on board a variety of advice and had a little joke with some posters.

Hardly "clenched"

Taffeta yes....as I said upthread. I'd be the same with boys.

My kids nursery had a saying
"you get what you get, and you don't get upset' !

Maybe use that on her !

Cheap - yes I saw that. I made commenting to the thread audience as a whole.

It made me wonder about my DS friends vs my DD friends that do this. I find it irritating and bad manners for both, but shamefully there is something subconsciously for me that makes the girl that does it worse. I’m trying to work out why that is.

I made = I was

Taffeta really? Do you have brothers?

I personally think you are overreacting. ‘Get what you’re given’ is not a parentel choice for everyone and indeed it is definitely not the way my neices and nephews are raised. The girl’s parents may actively encourage her to ask for what she wants, yes it’s a PITA now but if she grows up used to this then she’ll be in a better position long term. Girls / boys who learn it’s ok to ask for things for themselves as children, learn to ask for pay rises and negotiate as women / men.

Taffeta it's plain old sexism. Girls are meant to be thin and demure.

I agree cheesy. This is inherent sexism. I bet if OP had boys it wouldn’t even have cropped up or been dismissed as boys being boys.

Taffeta it is probably the same unconscious social expectation that ends in women not putting themselves forward for jobs they are well qualified for while men are happy to claim jobs they are barely qualified for. Pushiness may not be liked but it is tolerated in males more than females, and we internalise this early.

Seriously, who cares!

BTW I don't think the OP was responding this way because it was a girl - am just musing generally.