To be angry that my parents are letting dd3 down?

[lottieandmia22]

My dd is in the Young Voices concert in Birmingham this week. I can't go to watch her because I have to work. My parents agreed to go and see her. Tickets already paid for months ago... my daughter has no contact with her father so there is nobody else who could go instead.

About an hour ago my mum suddenly announced out of the blue that she and my dad are not going because she is worried they will catch flu. Apparently there is a flu epidemic now in the midlands(?) Both she and my dad have had the flu vaccination but she says it doesn't work and I should just not go to work so I can go instead.

I'm so upset for my dd. She will be really sad if there is nobody there to support her. I can't see a solution

They could go out to Tesco and catch flu tomorrow. They are being very unreasonable.

YANBU, that's very bad form from your parents

Your parents are being completely U! They’ve had the vaccine for goodness sakes!!

I can't see any way out of it. I just don't want dd to feel that we don't care enough to see her.

'They could go out to Tesco and catch flu tomorrow. They are being very unreasonable.'

I said the same.

Urgh they are obviously being ridiculous your poor Dd I would be telling them they have to tell her they are not going.

She's your daughter. Your parents are not the main people letting her down.

I would actually cut them off.

Lemon - how do you figure that? I really want to go but I can't

Also I don't understand why they have suddenly decided this now.

The Op is working the grandparents agreed to go they let the girl down.

Flu vaccine is not effective against the Australian flu which is across the country. Do they have an specific health issue or are they very old?

My MIL is in good health so if she did that I would be a bit but if it was my mother who has numerous serious health issues I would think it was sensible.

That's really sad - and mean of your parents, as someone said they could catch flu anywhere.
Do you know any of the other parents of the children taking part ? Could you ask a friendly family to be there for you DD on the night, take her under thier wing and congratulate her at the end, tell her to look out for them in the audience so she knows someone is clapping for her ?

Not a brilliant solution I know but it's all I can think of. (I've done it for someone when they couldn't get to a concert my child was also in - made a fuss of the two of them and took them for hot chocolates afterwards)

My dad does have serious health issues. But my mum is generally healthy and she could have taken 14 year old dd2 with her.

This would piss me right off. I think it is awful of them to drop out at this stage.

Flu vaccine IS effective against Australian Flu

That is a bit crap of them.

However - if it's any consolation - your daughter would probably not notice if anyone is there watching it or not - have you been before? The whole thing is huge, there are thousands and thousands of children there. If your parents did go they'd be lucky to spot her.

I suspect she won't be the only one from her school with no family in the audience, try not to make a big deal of "oh dear nobody will be watching" and stress how much fun she will have singing along with all her friends.

My children have both done this - I went to see them on neither occasion (I was a) at work and b) reluctant to pay the extortionate ticket prices). They had a great time anyway.

She's your daughter. Your parents are not the main people letting her down.

Are you frigging kidding me this comment is beyond horrid. The Op knows she has to work hence her parents going to watch, this has been arranged for months, I am sure if the Op's parents had said they couldn't go then the Op would have found someone else to go and support her daughter. Part of being a parent is providing for the family, are you seriously suggesting the OP doesn't work and risks losing her job just because her parents are being melodramatic about 'possibly' catching flu.

Op please ignore this stupid comment its not your fault and you are not letting her down your parents are by not honouring their prior commitment.

Lemons - any idea how important it is not to piss off your employer when you are a lone working parent ? What a stupid thing to say to OP.

Yanbu.
As for the snark, you really cant win as a single parent, can you. Work or claim benefits, someone will think you're doing it wrong.

The vaccinations which were given this year offer no immunity to the Aussie flu.

If either have a compromised immune system, I can see why this idea that they are in a 'hot spot' might have caused them to change their mind.

They are being selfish. Don't make the mistake of ever inviting them to anything your kids are doing again.

They are BU, but with regards to the flu vaccine, this year's shot is not effective. The strain of flu that is most common is a mutated variety not covered by the jab.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-42602394

Are there underlying health issues for them that mean they're more at risk from contracting Aussie Flu?

Shitty of them to drop out but I agree with pp that your daughter won’t notice .... it is vast. Do you know a friend and child who would like the tickets? It’s not all kids singing, the acts that come between the songs are great and anyone would enjoy going. She’d still have her person there then. Also fwiw I have never been to my daughters’ young voices concerts.

From what I heard (I admit I haven't checked the data), the vaccine does protect against the worst version in circulation. The current epidemic is due to the mildest form, so much less of a threat to your parents, OP.

However, how old is your DD? If DD2 is 14, she must be older and presumably old enough to give them a break and understand their concerns.

Are you sure she's really going to be that sad, or are you projecting?

Explain their point of view to her, and try to soften the blow. Don't make it worse.