To be angry that my parents are letting dd3 down?

[lottieandmia22]

My dd is in the Young Voices concert in Birmingham this week. I can't go to watch her because I have to work. My parents agreed to go and see her. Tickets already paid for months ago... my daughter has no contact with her father so there is nobody else who could go instead.

About an hour ago my mum suddenly announced out of the blue that she and my dad are not going because she is worried they will catch flu. Apparently there is a flu epidemic now in the midlands(?) Both she and my dad have had the flu vaccination but she says it doesn't work and I should just not go to work so I can go instead.

I'm so upset for my dd. She will be really sad if there is nobody there to support her. I can't see a solution

Is there any reason that might support unusual levels of health anxiety? Someone having chemo, or who is immunosuppressed for other reasons, might have a very good reason to avoid crowds, because even a cold can be serious for them.

If they are healthy, however, it's a very self-involved thing to say and do.

I am sure your DD will be OK, but it would be nice for her to have been performing for someone special.

My mum wants to tell her they went when they didn't so basically lie. I really don't want to lie.

Dd3 is 8 - how do you figure she must be older? She's my youngest

My dad has a heart condition and generally quite poor health. My mum sometimes get problems with her stomach but is generally healthy.

Your dad has serious health issues. People, especially older people with health issues have died. Your dd will not even notice they’re not there. My dd did young voices last year. The arena is massive. She finally saw us after we stood and waved for about 10 mins.

That BBC article says that the vaccine does protect against Aussie flu! I’m pregnant and have to go into central London twice today (for hospital appointment and trip out later). I can’t hide inside from flu all winter! I’ve had the jab, I have to hope it’ll protect me from the brunt of flu, if I catch it.

They have seen the recent news report that says the vaccine is only 20-40% effective. They are being unreasonable unless they are planning on spending the whole of winter holed up in their home with no visitors.

Unless they have underlaying healty issues they are letting dd3 down. In the midlands myself now (nhs worker and yes had flu jab but doesnt work on this strain) and im hearing more and more cases. My pil are amazing and look after dd but mil if ill just with a normal cold will have to go to hospital and be on oxygen. (Usually involving a trip at 1-3am) Im not risking her getting flu. Yes she could get it in tesco but shes avoiding all crowds at the moment. As a result instead of them picking dd up from a playgroup im making dd miss it for the time being to protect my mil.

However if they fit and healthy they promised so should support dd3. Any chance you could get time off?

No, she really will be very sad :( that is why I'm so gutted. Dd2 would have been fine with it at that age.

If she is that sad, is there any way round not going to work?

I can understand my dad not going but my Mum could easily go and take dd2 - she still works 20 hours a week and sometimes more.

Lottie...seen your update. I totally understand your parents decision. Are there any friends who could go

That’s mean of them, especially if they want you to lie to your DD as well. I think all you can do is to explain granny and grandad are worried about him catching flu so they won’t be going. Be matter of fact.
With 2 spare tickets, is it possible there’s a friend of the family who could go and maybe take your other DD with them?
Oh and get your m& d to pay you for the tickets.......!

If I had known earlier I could have sorted work perhaps but it's 48 hours notice

As a compromise, could your parents drop off DD2 (as she's 14) and DD1 (who's presumably older) and pick them up at the end of the concert? Your older children would get to see it (and they're old enough to be in there by themselves) but would get transported door to door.

One of the strains circulating this year - H3N2 - has been dubbed Aussie flu because it is the same strain that recently caused big problems for Australia.

This year's flu jab is designed to protect against H3N2 as well as some other strains.

In general, current flu vaccines tend to work better against influenza B and influenza A/H1N1 viruses than H3N2, according to US experts at the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention

Direct Quotes from BB which someone linked - so the flu vaccine does help, a bit, with this 'aussie' flu.

They are being ridiculous. I am in the Midlands and don't know anyone with the flu.

Dd3 is 8 - how do you figure she must be older? She's my youngest

Sorry, didn't notice it's in the title. I looked in the posts and couldn't see anything about her age or other DDs.

This is a good teaching moment for her to realise that sometimes we have to go alone. She'll be with mates and teachers, presumably, and you can show her that you'll be rooting for her.

Maybe find a way for her to feel that you're all thinking of her. Maybe a sort of lucky charm for her to take with her?

Rainbow...i know of 6 patients so far and our hospital has had to close to visitors. You must know health people. One of my patients said despite having the flu jab it wiped her out for the whole of xmas.

If your father has health issues, it would still be dangerous for him if your mother caught the flu.

Although it's 48 hours notice, if it would be possible for you to arrange something in advance, why didn't you make arrangements to go and see her well in advance and have relied on your parents for this?
Did you try?

You can't expect your parents to cover for you in things like this.

I'd buy them a couple of face masks and tell them they are going but I have that relationship with my parents.

It sounds like they have forgotten how heart breaking something like this can be for a child. Could you go speak to them face to face tonight?

I'd buy them a couple of face masks

They don't protect against the flu.

The flu vaccine is ineffective against Aussie flu. I was jabbed and was really ill with it for over two weeks. Yes, it's a real shame they've decided to put their own health first but entirely understandable.

In fact facemasks could make it worse as they get wet due to condensation and give a direct route for the virus into the mouth or least thats what i always thought. Might be wrong. Please correct me clever mntters.

I sympathise with you but I'm on their side re this. Because this flu has been hyped up. It's annoying but I don't think it's worth making a big fuss about it. They just don't want to get ill and I don't blame them for that.