To not want the baby clothes?

[otterliegorgeous]

A neighbour has bagged up three bin bags of baby clothes for our imminent arrival.

The problem is, we are very limited on space. It’s a very small two bedroom property with a small lounge and kitchen, bathroom and one normal size bedroom and one tiny one. The small bedroom fits a single bed and chest of drawers.

Also, I don’t like the clothes. We don’t know if we are having a boy or a girl but we’ve been given clothes for both, and this doesn’t matter but they just aren’t really what I would choose. I don’t really want the house filled with clothes they might wear at 6 months, we have babygros .

Would it be really rude to return them?

Just give them to a charity shop. Maybe a drive away?

Ask what she wants you to do with them "after baby has grown out of them". If she says pass them on, pass them on now without guilt, keeping a few of the best things (esp if there's anything like a snowsuit or anything striking that she'll recognise). If she wants them back, say you're worried about keeping track so don't want to take them in case you fail to give them back in good condition.

Well, the thing is I don’t drive, so I’d have to take three massive bags to the charity shop whilst pregnant!

Put them on Freecycle and someone will come and collect them.
Maybe save a couple of outfits for when she sees the baby though?

I’m not on Freecycle ... I’m just really wondering how rude it is to just return them and explain we’ve got everything we need but thank you.

Even if someone comes and collects them I have to join, take pictures, stay in while someone collects and to be honest I’ve got enough to do.

I think you could thank her profusely for the offer and say that your family you have already got you lots of clothes and you simply don’t have room for any more. I’d give them back.

Your family or you that’s meant to read

Stick them out in different charity shop bags for door stop collection

A lot of charity shops will collect stuff, sometimes even if it’s just a couple of bags. I often call my local British Heart Foundation. If you feel bad making them come and do a pick up just for the baby clothes, see if you have any other bits to clear out at the same time

I would also feel less guilty if I picked out maybe one or two decent items to actually use from the bags before getting rid of them. That way you know their kind gesture wasn’t totally pointless.

I’m not sure it was a kind gesture! I think it was using me as a bin

Just pick out a few things. Babies need a lot of spares, and they grow out of things so fast you will grateful for them believe me. If they end up going to nursery, they will be handy for nursery clothes you don’t mind getting ruined. Best save your money to spend on a few nice outfits you like rather than kit out your whole wardrobe which will have to be replaced regularly. I was so grateful for hand me downs. Saved me a fortune.

Leave them on the neighbours doorstep with a note saying thank you but you have got enough clothes already.

We don’t have space. The baby will attend nursery but at nine months. We don’t have space for nine months’ worth of clothes!

kill I think I will do that.

My MIL is currently buying us FAR TOO MUCH stuff, and I’m incredibly grateful but honestly just don’t believe that babies need so many clothes and bed sheets and socks and blimming hats... so I’m going to be giving a lot of it to a woman who works for sure start so she can give it to somebody else who gives them people who can’t afford them but have newborns, apparently there are also food banks etc that accept them for the same kind of thing. It’s worth looking into if you have too much stuff! I know they mean well but realistically it’s just excessive and probably not even possible to use them all. This is her first grand child and I think she’s given us more than I’ve been given combined with my other two! It’s lovely but I dont want her to waste her money

It's really rude to return them imo. If she doesn't want them returned "after baby has grown out of them" then I'd pick out a few decent items and make sure she sees baby wearing them, then give the rest to charity.

Have a pick through and take out any bits hat might be useful. It’s Jan, we always get a slew of charity bags through the door to put out. It’s not that much effort.

You shouldn’t have accepted them in the first place if you don’t want them. Now it just looks like you’ve had a look and turning your nose up at what was meant to be a nice gesture. ‘Oh no they aren’t good enough sorry, please take them back’.

Very rude and hurtful yo return
You made need this woman as a good neighbour when the baby is screaming through her walls, also she could be a baby sitter

Just keep a couple of bits to show baby in them / take a picture for your generous neighbour
And bag up rest, give every guest who visits after baby s born a bag to get rid of

I think if you phrase it delicately you can give the things back without causing offence. I offered baby clothes to a family member who refused them on grounds of having too much already / no space and I totally understood and wasn’t offended!

I had also been on the receiving end of a well-intentioned colleague unexpectedly dumping a huge suitcase of unwanted second hand baby clothes on me (at work so I had to traipse the thing home on the public transport during rush hour while 8 months pregnant!!) so I knew exactly how it feels! I gave that all away to charity shop first chance I got.

We got given a bin bag full of worn out and stained baby clothes when DD was born by DP's sister. I accepted gratefully and gave what could be given to charity and the rest sadly had to go in the bin as it was not good enough for charity. I would have felt awful saying no thanks though, she took the time to sort them out and felt good passing them on. Just smile sweetly and say thank you and if they are good enough, pass on to someone in need. Even if you aren't on free cycle etc there are always loads of Facebook groups etc you can give stuff away on, or how about a woman's refuge?

You sound very rude and offhand. especially the comment about using you as a bin. I agree with gamerchick you shouldn't have accepted the bags in the first place.

It's annoying when people do this even if they are well meaning. You can't return them without looking quite rude Can you get a friend to take them to a charity shop. Keep some and give the rest away. Too late to return them to the give now. Absolutely don't leave on neighbours doorstep.

I didn’t. They were left on the doorstep with a note.

It isn't 'very rude and hurtful'. Don't be so silly.

Just reply 'this was so kind but we are swimming in baby clothes, everyone has given us them, there's no way we'll use these'.

It's both true and a very, very common experience, so unless your neighbour is exceptionally odd, she ought to be able to understand it.

Wait until your baby is here, you’ll be amazed how many clothes you can get through.

Not rude at all to return them, just be polite and thankful and explain that you have enough clothes already and no space for more. Did she ask you if you wanted them or did she just bring them around?