To not want the baby clothes?

[otterliegorgeous]

A neighbour has bagged up three bin bags of baby clothes for our imminent arrival.

The problem is, we are very limited on space. It’s a very small two bedroom property with a small lounge and kitchen, bathroom and one normal size bedroom and one tiny one. The small bedroom fits a single bed and chest of drawers.

Also, I don’t like the clothes. We don’t know if we are having a boy or a girl but we’ve been given clothes for both, and this doesn’t matter but they just aren’t really what I would choose. I don’t really want the house filled with clothes they might wear at 6 months, we have babygros .

Would it be really rude to return them?

The neighbour might be well-intentioned, but she got it wrong by not asking if the clothes were wanted, though it does look like dumping to me, as they were left on the doorstep. As a neighbour, maybe her house is short of storage like Op's. If you offer to give clothes, books or toys away you have to give the recipient the opportunity to say no thanks and not be offended if they do.

did you take any at all?

The thing is, babies grow so quickly there are always loads of lightly worn clothes in circulation and some people are a bit shopaholic about cute little outfits. Then you have the dilemma of what to do with them and many people prefer to give them to someone they know rather than charity shop.

Sums it up perfectly.

And honestly, all the raised eyebrows at people offended OP said she'd been used as a bin are ridiculous, because some people do exactly that with baby clothes. Of the disposal options available to the neighbour, leaving them on OPs doorstep without speaking to her about it first is just about the easiest one of all. It's possible the neighbour intended it as a kind gift without any thought of her own convenience, it's also possible she just thought great, now I don't have to bother getting it to the charity shop. Both are realistic possibilities, as are feelings somewhere in the middle.

FTR I both gratefully received second hand things and passed stuff on to family members who I know use it because I've seen them. I'm very grateful for such donations myself... but then I have space.

Couldn't you have just said very kind but .. No room already have enough etc but thank you.

YANBU. I had this with MIL's work colleague when DD was born. I had no idea who she was and had never met but she kept giving bin bags of stained babygros etc to MIL to pass on to me. Which I then had to sort through and take to the charity shop myself so they just became an extra chore that I didn't need when dealing with a newborn. I felt too that she was just passing on her rubbish to me as it was easier than taking to the charity shop herself. Maybe it was with good intentions but why on earth would anyone think someone else would want your old sick stained baby clothes?

Then she tried to pass on a whole set of bedroom furniture which wasn't to our taste - I think we made excuses about space. Eventually I stopped passing on any messages of thanks (did this at the start as was being polite) and the clothes stopped coming.

On a side note though if your house feels small now it will feel absolutely microscopic once DC is here so it might be worth considering a move in the long term.

Bit silly to return. I liked sending mine to nursery in clothes I couldn’t give a shit about so they could paint and play as they like with worry.

It’s always useful to have baby clothes to grow into as they grow so fast and I would rather spend the money on more interesting things.

I can guarantee your two bad house is bigger than my tiny two bed flat. You learn to be creative with storage.

People used to give me bags of stuff. I might have kept some and sent others to charity. There’s no need to turn it into some extended work of drama and despair.

She wasn’t in.

Our house is:

Tiny kitchen (no room for table and chairs)
Small lounge, with stairs in the lounge
Upstairs a hall which two people would be able to pass in - narrow
Normal size bedroom with a double bed and wardrobe and desk.
Baby’s room or what will be baby’s room.

There was nowhere to put the bin bags apart from the lounge. Space is an ongoing issue. And to be honest I don’t have the time or inclination to sort through them all.

Such a fuss over nothing. If you can't find storage for a few bags of clothes where on Earth are you going to store all the toys, books and other stuff children accumulate?

It’s not silly to not want my house cluttered with things I won’t need for nearly a year!

How does posting a thread constitute making a fuss?

If you receive anything else just put it to women's aid or salvation army.

at the person who thinks babies don't need that many clothes. If you get a sicky one you'll be grateful for even the most raggedy stained babygro when it's the last one in the house and you're on the 15th change in 24 hours... Also, OP unless you are made of money you may be surprised by how much all of this will cost to buy new. As for keeping clothes for 6-9 months, that'll come SO fast you won't have time to blink. Stick them under the bed and it's odds on you'll be gratefully getting them out when suddenly you realise baby has grown out of what you bought just 2 weeks earlier, and can't face going to the shops again with a screaming colicky baby, and who gives a damn whether the babygro has frills on of not when you only got 3 hours broken sleep last night..

YOU THINK you dont have time now wait til the baby is born!

you have been rude to the neighbour.
the polite thing is to accept the bags, moan to yourself but never let on that you dont want the gifts

Lots of perfectly good suggestions of what you could do with them, and you have an excuse for each one. You're coming across as an askhole.

If you can't find storage for a few bags of clothes where on Earth are you going to store all the toys, books and other stuff children accumulate?

Perhaps part of the reason OP doesn't want unnecessary clothes is so she can use the space described in the living room for the toys and books? It's illogical to say she's BU to be concerned about things taking up space, whilst also asking her where she intends to put other things.

You haven’t been rude. You don’t have space for them and don’t need them, and have politely returned them.

You’ve been sensible and straight forward.

All this hand-wringing about offending the neighbour is ridiculous.

I have a house with plenty of storage and I still would have hated to be given three bin bags of hand me downs. I might have cherry picked what I liked then given the rest away, but I would not have kept them all.

TBH for me it was a control thing...I HATE having unnecessary stuff around me, stuff that I didn’t choose. It’s like as soon as your pregnant people just give you stuff stuff and more stuff.

Ps the posters insulting you are the rude ones.

she did not politely return them, the neighbour wasnt in

Tbf the babygros we’ve got haven’t been particularly frilly.

I am quite willing to accept my baby will need clothes, but to just dump bin bags with a mix of clothes for boys and girls and at different ages and sizes isn’t helpful. At the top of one was a snowsuit for a 3-6 month old. By the time my baby is that age it will be between May and September so that’s not helpful.

I mean, that’s one example. I don’t think she thought she would give us the clothes from compassion, I think she was clearing them out and she dumped them, literally, on us, which is annoying as it puts the onus on us to send them onto charity, eBay them or whatever. And tbh they didn’t really look like they’d sell.

no one is saying you have to keep them all

She wasn’t in when the neighbor left them, either.

Also I had a sticky baby and was perfectly able to manage without piles and piles of clothes. I had a washing machine.

Plus, we may well be moving in the future but it isn’t doable when I’m on maternity leave. So all those concerned about my future child’s development -don’t be! I just really am not a fan of clutter, it stresses me out.