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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want the baby clothes?

323 replies

otterliegorgeous · 06/01/2018 22:08

A neighbour has bagged up three bin bags of baby clothes for our imminent arrival.

The problem is, we are very limited on space. It’s a very small two bedroom property with a small lounge and kitchen, bathroom and one normal size bedroom and one tiny one. The small bedroom fits a single bed and chest of drawers.

Also, I don’t like the clothes. We don’t know if we are having a boy or a girl but we’ve been given clothes for both, and this doesn’t matter but they just aren’t really what I would choose. I don’t really want the house filled with clothes they might wear at 6 months, we have babygros .

Would it be really rude to return them? Blush

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 07/01/2018 09:02

a donated snow suit is a Good thing

frogsoup · 07/01/2018 09:02

Just seen that you returned them. Your house, your choice, but you ain't seen nothing yet when it comes to clutter! Also, it would have taken 10 mins max to sort through them and pick useful stuff Confused. That could have saved you 50 quid at least, depending on whether there was outerwear in there. I hope you don't live to regret being quite so fussy!

waterrat · 07/01/2018 09:03

Such weird answers..apparently the OP is obliged to find room for large bags of clothes she doesnt want or need ..because soon there will be even more crap in her house she doesnt want or need???

And even though the woman didnt ask if the second hand clothes were wanted ir needed the OP is obliged to find a way now to get rid of them as though it is now totally her problem??

Er. No! I have two children and have onlu ever asked politely whether anyone might like stuff before I give it to charity. Many times people say no ...it would be incredibly rude to expect a pregnant woman to take on my old stuff without any conversation.

Slartybartfast · 07/01/2018 09:04

agree frogsoup.
you will be searchign for that snowsuit when it's chilly and realise that sizes arent always what they say they are, and your lo could actually fit into a different size.

your look out

Slartybartfast · 07/01/2018 09:04

what is so special about a pregnant woman?

Original poster
otterliegorgeous · 07/01/2018 09:05

If I really, desperately need a snow suit in June (!) I’ll buy one!

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 07/01/2018 09:05

just do what you want op, you came on here to say what you wanted to do, and you did it.

frogsoup · 07/01/2018 09:07

Thursday, good for you. I had a washing machine too, but not a dryer, and sometimes there was not enough time to turn things around. Also sometimes I didn't manage to put the washing machine on because I couldn't put the screaming baby down. See also the 3 hours sleep and projectile vomit over the entire house. Admittedly my first was not an easy one!

IsaSchmisa · 07/01/2018 09:08

Yes this is another thing- some baby stuff is seasonal. People were making assumptions about what the items actually were and how useful they'd be, hence comments about socks and vests etc. But there could also be items that stand no realistic chance of being useful to you, like snowsuits, coats and thicker cardis in a size that your baby will be in summer. Or flimsy summer things in a size they'll be in winter.

With little babies they tend to just be in babygros which for the most part are the same all year round, albeit people sometimes get fleecy ones for winter. When they get a bit older and they're wearing things like tops and trousers, there can be more of a seasonal difference there. I was given some thicker trousers for one of mine who'd be 12 months in winter, and was grateful for them, but I wouldn't have used said trousers on the child who was 12 months in the middle of summer.

DollyLlama · 07/01/2018 09:08

I don’t think it’s rude to say you don’t want them, it’s the truth!

I’ve been lumbered with far too many hand me downs over the years that are really not my taste Think a bin bag from the loft of 90s fashion clothes

The best course of action it to say you’re grateful for the offer but you already have far too much and are struggling for space. Maybe you could take them to the charity shop if you’re looking to pass them on?

It’s a slippery slope OP. If this neighbour has children older than your baby, you will get never ending bags

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 07/01/2018 09:08

Calling the op an arsehole! For not wanting a 'gift' that was left on her doorstep! Or for not wanting to store things she hasn't asked for, when space is at a premium, and she presumably wants the small amount of space available for things like toys/books/weaning stuff. Not second hand clothes for a sex of baby she doesn't even have.

There's also no need to shit her right up by scaring her about SICKY babies or how she'll have NO time or how she'll have NO SLEEP to sort this stuff out later.

She's 8 months pregnant and has simply returned 3 bags of stuff she doesn't need, in the same manner it was given to her. Personally I would have given to a charity shop but given op doesn't drive, I don't blame her for not.

I had two sicky babies. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to have a loft full of stained clothes.

Original poster
otterliegorgeous · 07/01/2018 09:09

Slarty, I’m sorry if that upset you in some way? Hmm But are you surprised that ultimately I’m going to do what suits me?

FWIW it was actually DH who tripped over them, swore and returned them. I just updated because people were still discussing it and I thought people would like to know the eventual outcome!

OP posts:
frogsoup · 07/01/2018 09:09

Otterlie but you said you don't drive and it'd be a real pain to get to the charity shop. Why will getting out be any easier once you have a baby?

Slartybartfast · 07/01/2018 09:10

bored now
you came on AIBU
ultimately you did what you said you were going to do.
and yes, I feel YABU

Original poster
otterliegorgeous · 07/01/2018 09:11

Frog, I didn’t say it would be easy. I don’t think it will be and I’m dreading it actually, but with regards to buying baby clothes in these days of online shopping I don’t actually need to leave the house, although I imagine I will.

There’s a difference between walking back from Matalan or Tesco or Next with a bag with one snowsuit in it and staggering with three bin bags!

OP posts:
frogsoup · 07/01/2018 09:12

It's not scaring her, it's realistic. You don't know what is about to hit you with your first, that's all, and if small stuff is too much effort now, we are pointing out that it'll be even more so with a baby. I just don't get why sorting through a couple of bags of clothes and extracting the useful stuff would have been so much of a trial!

IsaSchmisa · 07/01/2018 09:12

you will be searchign for that snowsuit when it's chilly and realise that sizes arent always what they say they are, and your lo could actually fit into a different size.

Will be? How very silly. You have no idea of the sizes of the stuff or of OPs child. It's possible OP might want the snowsuit, but to say she will is ridiculous. Especially since it's perfectly possible to wrap a child up warmly without a snowsuit.

It's interesting though, one thing this thread raises is that not everyone has a great idea of the costs of storage. If you're not in a large space, it isn't necessarily sensible to keep everything just in case. May well be more logical to spend a few quid getting a cheapo whatever on Ebay or scrounge one from somewhere than it will to store, particularly if storing more stuff would mean you needed a bigger home eventually. Snowsuits are usually a lot less expensive than bricks and mortar.

This is a theme that's come up more than once on here, but usually in reference to people's parents who had bigger homes when their kids were small and don't really understand parenting in a small property, so buy large things without concerning themselves about where to put them.

TammySwansonTwo · 07/01/2018 09:12

It's not as simple as that though is it? My boys are almost 16 months now and still in 9-12 month clothes, so you have no idea what size they'll be in when it's winter.

I was lucky to get given lots of bags of baby clothes for my twins, up to age 2-3, and I've been so grafteful for them - having to constantly think about when to buy the next size up and doing that is just another job, whereas if you have things on hand when they have a growth spurt you don't have to worry.

I think a lot of the criticism here comes from your tone, which is generally rude and ungrateful.

AtrociousCircumstance · 07/01/2018 09:13

Slarty has obviously dumped a lot of old clothes on people without asking first Grin

frogsoup · 07/01/2018 09:13

But loads of people gave you alternative options to dragging bags to the shop...

Anyway, it's done, no point worrying now.

Steeley113 · 07/01/2018 09:13

For what it’s worth, babies grow at unpredictable rates. My youngest was in 3-6 months at 6 weeks old but is still in 12-18 at 2. They also go back in sizes in trousers when potty trained (no bulky nappies), shorts fit for what seems years (eldest who’s 5 can actually fit in his brothers shorts!) and clothes from different places despite being the same age size, vary massively!

Original poster
otterliegorgeous · 07/01/2018 09:15

Because we don’t have space to store loads of extra baby clothes.

Frog,I’m really sorry if that’s annoyed you in some way, but we don’t. As you rightly say even babies of only a few months need clothes which we have ready for the first month or so and will replace on an as and when basis because we just don’t have the room to keep everything a boy or girl might need to wear in the firs eighteen months of their life in this house.

To be honest, it’s hard enough being heavily heavily pregnant and I have had an awful pregnancy, no support, and then people saying ‘ooh, it’s going to be awful and you’ll never get out and the time will come when in the middle of July you will thank those lucky stars for a snowsuit’ doesn’t help!

OP posts:
Original poster
otterliegorgeous · 07/01/2018 09:16

I wasnt aware of a tone. I was irritated with my neighbour as I do think it’s pretty rude just to dump stuff on people without asking, and it meant we had yet another thing to do, so to be honest I wasn’t grateful for it - I’m sorry.

OP posts:
ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 07/01/2018 09:17

@Steeley113 I'd noticed that about shorts too! It's like they're magic...

Steeley113 · 07/01/2018 09:17

You only have newborn things?? What if you have a big baby? And they surprise you, one day an outfit will fit and the next it won’t. You really need clothes upto 3-6 minimum I’d say.