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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want the baby clothes?

323 replies

otterliegorgeous · 06/01/2018 22:08

A neighbour has bagged up three bin bags of baby clothes for our imminent arrival.

The problem is, we are very limited on space. It’s a very small two bedroom property with a small lounge and kitchen, bathroom and one normal size bedroom and one tiny one. The small bedroom fits a single bed and chest of drawers.

Also, I don’t like the clothes. We don’t know if we are having a boy or a girl but we’ve been given clothes for both, and this doesn’t matter but they just aren’t really what I would choose. I don’t really want the house filled with clothes they might wear at 6 months, we have babygros .

Would it be really rude to return them? Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
otterliegorgeous · 06/01/2018 22:51

Yes, but they still won’t fit for many months turkey and in that case we have not got room for those PLUS the clothes the baby will actually need at this time.

Thanks LRD

OP posts:
Atthebottomofthegarden · 06/01/2018 22:51

Agree with others, pick out a few bits and either pass the rest on, or return them thanking your neighbour and saying that whilst you have most of what you need it’s been handy to pick out a few pieces for spares!

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 06/01/2018 22:51

Your neighbour is not giving you them out of sentimentality, she wants rid of them from her house! It’s nice to declutter and she is using you to do so. Just be honest with her, thank you but tell her you have al you need. She won’t be offended, she will find another home for them easily.

Petalflowers · 06/01/2018 22:52

I would pick a few things out, then offer to return the stuff. Explain you don’t have room to store surplus clothing. I wouldn’t charity shop them, until offering them back to her first. There’s been too many threads on man about people selling baby clothes and items given to them. Acknowledge her generosity and explain the situation.

killforcarrots · 06/01/2018 22:52

I would always ask first before giving other mums my kids clothes. Often the offer was politely declined which was fine. I think it is rude to just give things. Not everybody wants other peoples hand-me downs.

MrsHathaway · 06/01/2018 22:53

Oh, if she left them for you then absolutely you can take them back with a "we're up to our elbows already" and a huge smile. If you do that you must give them back intact though.

IlikemyTeahot · 06/01/2018 22:54

Just tell her "sorry but we have enough already would you like me to return them ?" or invent someone u can pass them onto (i.e sling em in a charity bag!) I was very picky about that with my first DC and I assume most who can afford a few bits here and there would not want second hand goods fora newborn which is perfectly reasonable. By the time I had my second and third DC I appreciated the donations but all the same I would only take from close friends. Be wary of strangers they are probably just trying to offload some naff poo-stained babygros from the 1990's lol. I have to remember to hold back sometimes as I'm always harrasing people to take my old stuff but thats either expensive or unworn items anything else goes to charity shop or clothes bank. But i'm sure there is someone out there who might make use of them, I know the cash 4 clothes cabins send them worldwide and there is a need for baby and childrens clothes you don't have to take the money if you wouldnt feel right about it, just tell them to donate what you would have earned

grumpy4squash · 06/01/2018 22:56

It's not really about the space it takes to store the clothes though, is it?

When your child is 6 or 9 or 12 months old, all family members will give you loads of plasticky crap (toys) which will take up lots more space. Your problem will honestly be much greater at that point!

Original poster
otterliegorgeous · 06/01/2018 22:58

There aren’t any family members so no, they won’t! Appreciate this is unusual though. So yes, it’s very much about the space!

OP posts:
CherryMaDeara · 06/01/2018 23:02

They were left on the doorstep with a note.

Do the same. And don't apologise.

gamerchick · 06/01/2018 23:02

Ah well if they were just left on the doorstep then give them back. Just pop them back on hers with a note.

Twinkletoes2018 · 06/01/2018 23:07

I would very gratefully hand them back and say it's a lovely gesture but you have enough and you like them to go to someone who needs them

ReanimatedSGB · 06/01/2018 23:09

To an extent, you might later find yourself being grateful for shabby clothes which aren't to your taste, if you get a puker of a baby - otherwise you will never stop laundering (and if you are short of drying space, it's even more useful to have a lot of spares).

But it's not unreasonable to return them with a 'thanks, we have all we need and no storage space', particularly if they were just dumped on your doorstep.

nancyclancy123 · 06/01/2018 23:11

As she left them on the door step with the note, just return them. It's not as if she's asked or popped round and given them to you personally, so I wouldn't feel bad at all. Just say that it was really kind of her but you've been inundated with baby clothes and you just don't have the room for anymore, but you really appreciate her for thinking of you. The.end.

peppapigwouldmakelovelyrashers · 06/01/2018 23:12

My MIL is currently buying us FAR TOO MUCH stuff, and I’m incredibly grateful but honestly just don’t believe that babies need so many clothes and bed sheets and socks and blimming hats

Bless. Give them away now if you like, but I guarantee you that you'll be wishing you hadn't when you've changed a vest and babygrow for the fourth time that day and you can't find a single matching pair of baby socks!

ArnoldBee · 06/01/2018 23:13

If it's a space issue I bagged all baby clothes in age ranges with labels and out them in the loft. I then sent hubby up for the next stage of clothes.

Original poster
otterliegorgeous · 06/01/2018 23:14

The loft isn’t accessible.

OP posts:
ladystarkers · 06/01/2018 23:18

You are so ungrateful. Using you as a bin? Fgs

hollowtree · 06/01/2018 23:19

She is not using you as a bin! We are really struggling and so grateful of everything we have been given- perhaps she was the same and thought keeping her clothes for someone to use was a really nice gesture.

As previous posters have said: use doorstop collection or just see if you need them. You literally will get so much.

The stuff I wasn't all that keen on I put into 'babysitting bags' for when the grandparents had her so they were just emergency outfits really.

Firsttimemama2017 · 06/01/2018 23:19

This happened to me, sister in law gave us about 10 bags of baby clothes, most of which were so worn and stained they had to go in the bin, the decent stuff went to the charity shop.

HouseworkIsAPain · 06/01/2018 23:20

Just return them with a note saying you're grateful for them thinking of you, but you have been given loads already.

It's a bit odd for them to have dumped them on your doorstep, I don't think it's at all rude for you to return them.

hollowtree · 06/01/2018 23:20

*get through

BashStreetKid · 06/01/2018 23:23

Are you really that short on space that you couldn't fit a box in somewhere, even in an attack or under the stairs? There's no law that says it's all got to go into drawers and cupboards. It's all very well saying you don't need larger size clothes now, you will very soon, particularly if the baby is a big one; and, as people have said, you tend to need at least twice as many clothes as you think you will beforehand.

FrivolouslyFancifulFannie · 06/01/2018 23:23

Thank you for the clothes, its a lovely gesture but we have already got far too many clothes both new and used from family and friends which i dont will all get used. As i don't have anywhere to store them and i wont need them i have returned them so you can give them to someone who would need and appreciate them, i would hate for all these clothes to go to waste when there are people in desperate need who will use them.

Thanks again for thinking of me
otterliegorgeous

rolypolyoutoutout · 06/01/2018 23:23

Are you on Facebook? Stick them on your local Facebay site. I don't know why you're making an issue about joining a site like Freecycle. Takes 1 minute to join. It's really not a big deal 🙄