Just dropped a clanger - what are yours?

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I was talking over the web to someone I know about their mother's passing and finished off the conversation by saying drop me a line after the cremation when the dust has settled. I didn't even pick up my gaffe until their response repeating my line - they took it well!

Anyone else made an unintentional gaffe recently?

Oh dear op, that did make me smile! Oops!
I was chatting to my friend the other day saying I needed to go back to the hairdresser soon as my red streaks had gone ginger and I didn’t like it..... I’ll leave you to guess the colour of my friends hair.....

My dd said to a cafe owner yesterday "we walked all around the village but came here because you were the only cafe open!" She then asked her "do you ever stop for crisps?"

Not me, but a colleague - he said to a gay (and very camp acting) client that a certain person was "bent". He meant it in a crooked sense, but the client lifted an eyebrow and drawled deliberately, "ooh, as bent as me, dear?"

His face was so red!

To a colleague who lost his brother over Christmas. 'I'm so tired I might die'

Not my gaffe but whilst my nan was recovering from kidney cancer and still on the renal ward her and the other patients were served steak and kidney pie for dinner!
90% on that ward had had their kidneys removed that week

To my sisters in front of my mother who is recovering from a stroke, I was reciting and conversation I had and was so shocked about something I said I near had a stroke

My DN is pregnant and we’re ttc over 1.5 years now, upon her announcement my MIL said don’t worry you’re next (not meant in any bad way but I was )

A former colleague went for a rectal examination. He was really nervous about both the examination itself and what the results might be. He was telling me and another colleague about his trip there, which involved two buses, a mile walk, a weird turn-stile thing at the hospital. My other colleague was making all the right sympathetic noises and then said "Oh God, what a pain in the arse".

To a relative while my adoptive parent was in ITU with a stent inserted to reduce the brain swelling.... “I was late getting here as the ward rounds were a nightmare this morning and my clinics ran late, which I needed like a hole in the head”..... I was an 18 year old trainee at the time (now 43) and I still cringe when I remember that day. I was severely reprimanded for my insensitivity.

Haha bubbles

That made me smile Wino i have a dark sense of humour .

One of my friend's DH is in the navy and often away for several weeks at a time.

A big group of us were having lunch one day. One of the group is well-known for regaling everyone with her terrible tales of first-world woe. We brush her off by saying things like "Well, there's always someone worse off" of whatever. This lunch was no exception. After she'd finished her tale of woe, another woman said "There's far worse things happen at sea". Awkward.

I made a sort of a blonde joke at the end of a meeting (following up from some banter about not being able to eat and think at the same time), then looked around to finish on the new sub-director, who dies her hair blonde. She only started this week, so maybe I can be excused.

@SpiderWilliesOnYourFrillys we're always doing that. FIL had a major stroke a few years ago and the first few times we cringed (even MIL said it a few times) but now we kinda just laugh it off.

I once said to an acquaintance "congratulations" instead of "condolences" after her husband died. I still can't look her in the eye and this was easily 6 or 7 years ago.

My dad was a pharmacist and swears this is a true story. A chap came in complaining that he had "taken" (orally, in error as was later established) a whole pack of suppositories and he was still constipated. He remarked "for all the good they did I might as well have shoved them up my arse. "

Winosaurus

I expect that at least they didn't serve Chianti or fava beans with it.

My mum is the queen of this. Our window cleaner was very apologetic that he'd not cleaned the back windows, which you can only get to by standing in some rose bushes. When the window cleaner was a child he was playing hide and seek and hid in a rose bush. Something made him jump and he stood up too quickly - ended up in A&E with thorns embedded in his skull.

My mum's response? "I guess that would stick in your mind"!

My dad on the motorway with an aggressive BMW behind him:

"I'm sick of having this dick right up my arse."

Oh how we laughed. Oh how cross he was!

I once remarked to an acquaintance that someone was a bit of a 'Hooray Henry'. Yes, she has a son called Henry.

I was talking to a friend about some fellow parents at our sons' school who I thought were a bit snobby " Oh, you know the type", I said , "typical Mr. and Mrs. Double-Barreled". Yes, of course her surname is double-barreled. No, she didn't laugh. Cringe.

Oh, dear, I sound v judgemental.

I mis-typed a text to my cousin, saying we were "roasting" her dad with champagne. He was being cremated later that week.

I once sent a condolence card where I wrote that I was 'so sorry to hear the heart-breaking news of X's passing'.

X had died from an aneurysm

I think there's a form of subconscious word association going on when things like this happen.

I never, and I mean never, put on a fake French accent and pretend to summon the waiter by saying 'garcon!' Except when I met my friend's new girlfriend, who happened to be French.

Scribble I don't get it... why is that a gaffe?

lol OP, that's funny - I am glad your friend has a sense of humour.

Could I just throw in though, that bereaved people do need company. I hated it when my mum was dying and so called friends would say 'oh we must go for a drink when all this is over'.. tbh I could have done with a drink at the time but they were running scared...

Because his heart had literally broken, Bubbles....

You're giving me hope that it might not be obvious though, so maybe I got away with it!