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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just dropped a clanger - what are yours?

262 replies

musicform · 05/01/2018 11:58

I was talking over the web to someone I know about their mother's passing and finished off the conversation by saying drop me a line after the cremation when the dust has settled. I didn't even pick up my gaffe until their response repeating my line - they took it well!

Anyone else made an unintentional gaffe recently?

Blush
OP posts:
MorbidBibliomancy · 05/01/2018 15:28

I work in an office as a personal assistant for someone with eyesight problems. A few months ago a new lady started and came round to introduce herself to everyone. When she got to me and I explained my role, she blurted out, 'Oh, so you're the seeing eye dog!' She was mortified but I (and the person I assist) thought it was brilliant. I love dogs Grin

Falconhoof1 · 05/01/2018 16:07

When I saw teenager I worked in a chemist shop. A very small man came in. He was really nice and chatty and he bought loads of expensive items. When i totalled it up I said "that'll leave you a bit short..." He left without further chattiness.

halfwitpicker · 05/01/2018 16:11

I do this all the time with my boss.

She's of a certain age and I'm always saying things regarding retirement, the 1800's etc. I'm sure she doesn't notice - it's just me who's crazy.

amusedbush · 05/01/2018 16:13

Falconhoof1

That's reminded me of another! (God, I'm full of these...)

I worked in a pharmacy at weekends while I was at school. A guy came in and shiftily handed me a piece of paper that had "Anusol" written on it. I'd never heard of it so I brazenly asked the pharmacist if we stocked "anus oil" Blush the poor guy looked like the wanted to curl up and die!

Raffles1981 · 05/01/2018 16:17

I once told someone, who had just survived cancer, to "keep there wig on" Blush I don't know if she had lost her hair during treatment but still....

CabbagesOnFire · 05/01/2018 16:27

This was years ago but I still cringe. I was at a gig, chatting to the singer and the guitarist from the band. I was describing the fancy dress party I'd been to the night before on the theme of "gypsies, tramps and thieves...." I said about a friend's "pikey" costume for which he'd had really bad (false) teeth.
The guitarist had bad teeth.....

misscheery · 05/01/2018 16:29

OMG, these are hilarious

I once congratulated someone and FUCKING HUGGED her for her pregnancy. She was fat. Ffs. She laughed and brushed it off, but this was 10 years ago and I still face palmConfused

I8toys · 05/01/2018 16:31

Asked a new colleague what his girlfriend's name was - Matt came the response. I have zero gaydar.

Lweji · 05/01/2018 16:44

When I was a teenager our middle aged catholic priest asked me in front of other people when was I going to gain weight. I replied that when I got pregnant.
That was not received well.

Even though it did turn out to be true.

And he deserved this type of answer.

Grin

But, speaking of cancer and wigs, I once turned up in an office where I worked, looking for another colleague, and one woman who was being treated for breast cancer had changed her hair (wig, obviously). Without thinking, I said her hair looked great. It was only as I went somewhere else and found the original colleague I was looking for that it dawned on me that it was a wig and my comment was a clanger, basically,

Berrygoodteeth · 05/01/2018 16:45

I remember when Shirley Ballas from SCD said to Johnny Peacock “you’ve got a real spring in your step”

leghoul · 05/01/2018 16:53

To patient with rectal bleeding
'we'll get to the bottom of it'

Papergirl1968 · 05/01/2018 16:54

Discovering a brothel had been discovered in a quiet nearby village that I passed through a lot and asking some acquaintances if they’d ever noticed any comings or goings!

Doreah · 05/01/2018 17:01

I was looking at something on my partially sighted colleagues screen (how is progressively losing his sight) and said "I can't see if colleague, I must be going blind". Thankfully he knows we don't mean it nastily and it's a just a figure of speach.
Not me but my mum was at a funeral and got up from her chair and her aunt sat in it. Cue my mum saying (you guessed it) "Jump in my grave why don't you".

MsHarry · 05/01/2018 17:04

Wino that made me laugh! Reminded me of when we were visiting my FIL in a Hospice. He was terminally ill and it was a relaxed ward and they played music etc. We shared a look when " Stairway to Heaven " came on but FIL laughed himself and said " Well, that's about right"

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/01/2018 17:05

We saw a friend of exDH's while were still in our funeral garb, Ex said it had been his mohers funeral that day and friend said "Oh no, is she dead?"
Ex said "Well I fucking hope so otherwise she's going to be livid!" :o

It seems to be a common gaff, someone said it to my dad when his faher died.

LuluJakey1 · 05/01/2018 17:09

We went out to buy wood for the woodburner the other day and the furst two places were waiting for deliveries. When we got to the third place I asked, and we bought some logs and kindling. As we got in th3 car DH started to laugh. Apparently, I asked the man ' Have you got wood this morning, no one else seems to have any?'

Happyhippy45 · 05/01/2018 17:10

Slightly pissed in pub close when I was about 19. I was very chatty and overly friendly to a group of women I barely knew.
One woman was quite a bit larger than me.
I said to her "Oh look, we have the same leggings....except the flowers are bigger on yours!"

MsHarry · 05/01/2018 17:12

When my DM died, I was exiting the ward with lots of family about an hour after she died and bumped into an old colleague as we passed the maternity ward. She ran up to me and said excitedly " Oi oi ,what are you doing here then?" I really didn't want to tell her as it wasn't her fault so said "Oh don't ask, I'll speak soon" She was so insistent that my DH had to tell her as I walked on. The poor woman's face, I really felt for her. Bless her, she sent me the most lovely message later on.

MsHarry · 05/01/2018 17:13

Happy and Lulu those are great, wish I could remember some that weren't so dark!

Happyhippy45 · 05/01/2018 17:13

Dh wheeled me into an appointment in my wheelchair and person looked at me and smiled and said "take a seat."

Mountainpika · 05/01/2018 17:14

On a messaga board there was a general chat thread, often with mutual support with cheering 'slogans'.

One poster said she was going for an intimate examination.

Another said she hoped it would go well, adding, "Onwards and upwards.'

Nctothisfornow · 05/01/2018 17:18

ellie56 your post had me laughing so much!
welcome back to the land of the living Grin

TheExecutionersBong · 05/01/2018 17:22

My DM bought my grandad a card for his 80th birthday that said something about '80 years of treasured memories.'

Yep. He's got Alzheimer's

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 05/01/2018 17:22

This one is NOT lighthearted.

A colleague had been off sick for a few weeks and I suspected she'd had a miscarriage. Couldn't say anything because it was only a suspicion. We went out for lunch and were talking about a project that was frustrating her. I said "Well, yeah, it was your baby."

Fuck. I will never forget the look on her face. I wanted to stab myself with a fork.

At least I can end by saying she had a beautiful healthy baby the next year.

Snowysky20009 · 05/01/2018 17:26

I asked someone to write their name. They said 'opps for someone reason then I put my old married name' so I laughed and asked 'how many times have you been married?', she replied 'five times' so I laughed and asked 'how long will you keep this one for before trading him' with a death stare she replied 'they all died'.......