Just dropped a clanger - what are yours?

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I was talking over the web to someone I know about their mother's passing and finished off the conversation by saying drop me a line after the cremation when the dust has settled. I didn't even pick up my gaffe until their response repeating my line - they took it well!

Anyone else made an unintentional gaffe recently?

Not that much of a clanger, more just embarrassing for me, but I was having my new glasses adjusted by a younger than me, somewhat attractive chap in the optician's. I'll admit it, I was possibly flirting a bit, or at least laughing and making not very funny hilarious little sallies more than I would for an unattractive optician.

At one point he said 'How's your vision now?' and I meant to say something like 'Much better than before' but instead said 'It's the best I've ever had.' I think he blushed. I just sort of crashed on.

Whoops op, but at least they took it well!

I run a business with my dh and accidently sent invoice 666 to the priest at the local Catholic Church! He didn’t say a word but his secretary found it funny. I hadn’t realised....

Ha ha! I'm off to a cremation this very afternoon. If I say this out loud I wonder if I'll be picked up on it?

Wino similarly, I was working on a cruise ship where we also had a lot of TV screens all over showing movies, I think we had 3-4 of them on the loop that were then changed every few weeks.

The person in charge of the movie selection decided that the best movie for autumn storm season (during which the ship previously on that same line had sank, with many casualties) was Titanic..

In a heated debate with a colleague who has a false leg 'You haven't got a leg to stand on'. (I meant from a legal point of view, but oh my god I wanted the ground to open up)

I've put on weight over Christmas after losing a lot of weight this past year. DH and I have a holiday coming up and I was moaning that "the only way I'll get to my target weight in time now is if I cut off a limb".

His mum passed away earlier this year following diabetic complications, which included a double leg amputation. He laughed but I was mortified!

Lweji I just snorted with laughter... congratulations! How awkward!

I wonder if these 'foot in mouth' episodes are actually our sub conscious screaming out...?
When a brother of mine got diagnosed with a mental health problem, all I could say was stuff like ...'he went mad' ' that is crazy' etc etc...:(

My dads very ill and he's been told he'll be lucky to live another year or two. There've been a few 'this looks like the end' moments and a good friend has been dragging me out regularly to catch up & keep me smiling.

My FIL visited just after a crisis. It wasnt the easiest visit. Next time I saw my friend, she asked "hows the dad" and without thinking I said "he's gone" quite cheerfully. Her face! I realised she thought I was talking about my dad and quickly explained.

op my mum was cremated and that would have made me crack up laughing that is funny!

After my MIL died the family were gathered to discuss the funeral arrangements. My DH disappeared from the room for a bit. When he returned, I said, "Welcome back to the land of the living," something MIL had often said.
As soon as I had said it I wanted the ground to open up. Nobody else seemed to notice though.

Scribble Okay, I thought an aneurysm was something to do with your brain, not the heart. I'm a bit thick but, basically, I wouldn't have picked up on this

Haha!! :D

Not recent, but a gaffe never the less. When I was young and in my first job, one of the staff asked it I wanted to do any overtime, I said I'd take half of what was left but I wasn't doing it all. I looked at the rota to see who was on shift (not being awful/avoiding people, but there was a pecking order, and it was miserable being on pots for a full shift so I didn;t want to have all pots shifts), I commented that one staff member seemd to be practically moving in to the place and we got on talking about her. I decided to come out with, 'I really like her, but she doesn't half invade your personal space'. Only then did I realise I was talking to said colleagues daughter .

Haha!

I went back to work a few days after my mum's funeral, who died from alcoholism. We had a team meeting and were all sat round waiting for it to begin when the boss made a joke 'my name's mark and I'm an alcoholic' as if we were in an aa meeting. Everyone looked absolutely horrified and he couldn't apologise enough to me afterwards! I said it was absolutely fine and knew he hadn't mean any harm and I wasn't offended or upset by it but I couldn't seem to stop him from feeling absolutely awful when there was really no need for an easily made gaff!

Years ago when I worked as a home carer I was visiting a particular couple. The gentleman had had an operation and had to wear very tight compression stockings. They took ages to put on and I said " just as well you only have two legs or I would be here forever." No problem with that except his wife had just had both her legs amputated! Thankfully she saw the funny side.

I walked into one of those chi chi little lifestyle type shops and when the (older slightly grand) lady shop assistant asked if she could help I said "no thanks I was just admiring your jugs". Which I was (lovely jugs in the window) but cringe...

I was in a sixth form class with a friend, shortly after her brother tragically died and on her first day back. One of our classmates came crashing in, threw herself into a chair and exclaimed "Christ I feel like I'm gonna die."

All of us turned, horrified, to the recently bereaved friend, but luckily she pissed herself and said it was the best laugh she'd had since he died.

Bumped into a woman i know asked how her christmas went she said my husband died without a word of lie I said, oh thats not great I don't think she cottoned on because she was talking over me but ffs

My DH regaled me once with the tale of his dad (who I never knew) when they all went to a family funeral. They had just come out of the crematorium and another hearse was outside and the grieving family were waiting to go in. FiL turned round to his brother and said loudly "Bloody hell Norm, they turn 'em out like hot cakes here....."!

MiL went several shades of red and FiL was walloped with her handbag....

MrsJayy

Sorry but I'm really laughing at "oh, that's not great"

I work in university admin and a student met with me to discuss falling behind with their coursework. They said it was due to their mum being ill. I asked if she was better now and the student replied, "no, she died".

I almost burst into song and dance just to break the awkwardness

@BubblesInTheTub and@Scribblegirl an aneurysm is a weakening in an artery wall, so you can have one any where you have an artery, so you might have got away with it......

I once had a patient who was waiting for a procedure which kept getting cancelled last minute; I went to tell her there was a slot tomorrow, Her husband said to her Best cross your fingers then, and added and your toes.........yes she had all her toes amputated.
Thankfully she had a sense of humor, her husband nearly fell of the chair laughing. I was red for the rest of the shift; didn't help that other staff heard it, and her husband giggled every time he saw me.

Told a patient with a leg amputation to just hop out of bed, he commented he did have much choice.

And they're just the ones I haven't blocked out.

When I was 16, I was in a production of "Oh, What a Lovely War!" and we did a matinee for the local residential homes. When we'd finished and were getting changed to go and have tea with the audience, my friend said "well, we'd better go and see if they enjoyed it" me, quick witted as ever "the war or the play?" I was suitably told off - and I still haven't learned to think first, speak second!!

asked if she could help I said "no thanks I was just admiring your jugs".

I do hope she saw the funny side, grand or not.

I bumped into a passing acquaintance, when she had just discovered she had cancer, and was sobbing on a friends shoulder. I was put on the spot a bit, and didn't know what to say to her. What came out of my mouth was, "Its not the end of the world." This was years ago, and still makes me cringe now.