Just dropped a clanger - what are yours?

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I was talking over the web to someone I know about their mother's passing and finished off the conversation by saying drop me a line after the cremation when the dust has settled. I didn't even pick up my gaffe until their response repeating my line - they took it well!

Anyone else made an unintentional gaffe recently?

New colleague tells me he got a good price on his house because his dad had died and left him some money. That's nice I said.

I know a liam neeson. I said 'he copied you' forgetting that that meant i felt it was clear local liam neeson the older of the two. Of course it was the other way round and local liam neeson younger by nearly a decade !!

My friend's elderly grandmother lived with them. I hadn't visited for a while and she came out of her room to say hello. I greeted her with 'hello, Gran - you still around'!
DH to his mother on the day of his father's funeral 'so, Mum, have you had a nice day?'

From someone I knew:

Her FIL went upstairs on the stair lift.
By the time he got to the top, he had died.

His wife went up and found him, and as she went to phone the doc (or someone) she said to him, "Now don't you move, John."

Keep these coming!

I was working in a bar with a rather hot bartender, and there was some kerfuffle over the till receipt roll which was getting stuck. After fiddling for a bit I said "Okay you get it out, and I'll pull it off"

I’m forever saying ‘I love you’ when ending phone calls. Not okay at work.

I used to work at a pharmacy which offered free flu jabs for over 60s and we were supposed to sign up as many people as possible. I was happily telling a customer about them and he said "oh that's lovely but I'm only 52". I was mortified!

Talking to a rarely seen female relative at a family get together, who was bemoaning the fact that she had put on so much weight (she had grown huge since I had last seen her). I meant to say "What tiny wrists you have" - we were sitting close together at a table, and she did have very small wrists, but why I should fee the need to comment on it, I don't know, just wanted to give a crumb of misguided comfort perhaps. Anyway, what I actually said was "At least your wrists aren't fat." She didn't speak to me again unsurprisingly.

I love the 'manners maketh man' story!

My DH had bought some croissants for breakfast and asked if I wanted one. I replied 'no thanks, I've got a bun in the oven'. (We're both near retirement age so DH started laughing straight away!)

Watching my DD help my DN guide the claw on a grabbing machine, she advised her to ‘go down on Batman’! I shrieked with laughter, much to their annoyance when I wouldn’t explain why!!

Friend 1's mum died in an accident a few years ago. A group of us met up and went out for coffee with her not long afterwards, to show support etc.

We ended up talking about said friend's fancy dress party a few years previously. Someone asked friend 2 what he's gone to the party dressed as, "DEATH!" he answered.

Friend 2 was absolutely mortified. I'll never forget the look on his face. We nipped out for a fag and ended up crying with laughter outside.

Ha, hilarious thread!