Just dropped a clanger - what are yours?

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I was talking over the web to someone I know about their mother's passing and finished off the conversation by saying drop me a line after the cremation when the dust has settled. I didn't even pick up my gaffe until their response repeating my line - they took it well!

Anyone else made an unintentional gaffe recently?

At a wedding and a couple on the table asked me to take their picture.
Took the snap and the flash was really bright I said ‘oh sorry I hope I didn’t blind you’.
Yep they were both blind....

Not really embarrassing for anyone but friend text me last night asking if I'd seen the temperature in New York (I'm off there soon) she then said 'brrrr pack loads of willies' she'd meant woolies. Made me laugh.

"no thanks I was just admiring your jugs" reminds me of when DH and I were on a plane earlier this year, getting ready to disembark. He'd taken the shoulder strap off his hand luggage for some reason and when he pulled the bag down from the locker, I loudly asked "do you want your strap on now?" with a queue of people beside him in the aisle. Only he and I laughed, for some reason

Similarly hilarious to me, I used to work in a student accommodation building. A tenant phoned the office to report that one of the bar stools in the shared area was wobbly, and I put in a maintenance request for "loose stool".

My very first job. I was moving to a new area and the flat I would be living in wasn’t quite ready, so I was staying at the house of the most senior of my bosses.

I’d been chatting to my predecessor (I’ll call him David) about the job. Everyone had one afternoon off each week. Mine as the last in, was to be Monday.

My new boss apologised for it being Monday afternoon and suggested it would change at some point when I was no longer the newest staff member. I replied, ‘It’s fine thanks, Dave told me it was quite good having Monday afternoons as they’re often busiest.’

My parents were staying over. I noticed nothing, but my mother said my new boss’s face was a picture! Something like this I should imagine.

It was a perfectly appalling job. I never made it to a different afternoon.

sausagerollsrock surely i's more economical (what with luggage allowances) to make good use of the willies that are already in NYC should a willie be required

God I said to a neighbour once having briefly met her sister " isn't your sister lovely she's so friendly. She's nothing like you". I meant she LOOKS nothing like you but it came wrong. Even worse was what I said was actually correct the sister was much nicer

Haha peapod

Loving these - so glad its not just me!

I still cringe at this 2 decades later. I was in my first job and one member of staff had lots of children and was having about one a year/18 months. She always seemed to be pregnant.

Fast forward a couple of years and I had moved to a different department so didn’t see this woman day to day.

I bumped into her in reception one day and said ‘oh hello! I see you’re having another one, when are you due?’ She said ‘I’m not pregnant love I’m just fat now’.

I still cringe and I can’t believe I was so insensitive. In my defence I was quite young. Awful.

Dull absolutely - they've asked for some peace for now and will be with family - im helping them out with some of the legal paperwork hence them originally getting in touch so taking a more professional standpoint than I would if they were family or a close friend

"Her husband said to her Best cross your fingers then, and added and your toes."

Why were you embarrassed since you said it was her husband who said it?

I also once remember going on an assault course as part of induction army training. We were team building and I was one of the youngest. A very attractive slightly older than me man was part of my team. I was assisting him over a muddy gap with the use of a wooden pole that I was holding firmly - that bits important. I remember shouting to him very loudly and clearly ' don't worry - its nice and hard for you!'. In my mind I meant I wouldn't let it roll over so he would fall. Totally red face after. They never brought it up in the assessment but I couldn't forget it. That was day two of a three day assessment.

When asked by my favourite brother whether I liked the film Girl on the Train, I said 'I found the lead character very annoying- she's just a really sad alchie who seems like she's about to top herself. Not very relatable'.

My brother's a year sober following a stint in rehab after he tried to commit suicide. I almost swallowed my tongue...

Not really a gaffe, but i did feel foolish.
Many moons ago at a University interview, my first, I think, I was very nervous. The interviewer was telling me about the campus and said "Of course, we have our world famous library". Eager to show enthusiasm, I said "Oh good. I love reading!"
Doh.

A relative of mine works in a hospital ward which is rehab for amputees. One day she was gathering in dinner trays; and this patient had cleared his plate, and was known for having a good appetite. She remarked ‘you like your food eh, you must have hollow legs!!’
Yes, he was a double below knee amputee.

She was mortified and apologised but luckily he saw the funny side!!

I had been helping a neighbour out over Christmas doing her washing as her machine was broke. She knocked to ask if I would be able to do a load for her that day. I told her I was nipping out shopping but would be back on the afternoon and would do it then.
I just got back from shopping and she knocked and handed me a small plastic bag "oh, is that all?", I asked her. "That's not much". She just stood there looking at me, when I looked at the bag I realised it wasn't washing at all. "It's just a couple of selection boxes for the kids for Christmas", she said.
I was horrified!

I'd had a drastic haircut whilst pregnant. From rapunzel long to Pixie cut.
I went to work the next day and a work colleague complimented me on my hair, I turned round and said "I don't know whether I look a bit like a lesbian". Which to be honest is insulting enough to lesbians anyway but then I wanted the ground to swallow me up when I realised what I'd said - her daughter is one and she also worked with us.

This was my friends gaff not mine - a few nights ago we were at the gym and we weighed ourselves. She went first, saw the reading and exclaimed "such a fat bastard"

I then got on and the reading was exactly the same 😂😂

We looked at eachother and howled with laughter!

With my DM in a queue at the local shop (up north - it helps with getting the accent). Large lady in front put her shopping away and was about to leave a block of lard on the counter. So my DM says (and of all the ways she could have phrased it) "Excuse me? you've forgot your fat" I could not get out of there quick enough.

You know those "love, life, joy" type posters? My nan's old age care home has them. Including, in pride of place, one saying "Live every day as if it's your last"!

Its come rushing back to me something horrific I said to my dad. When I was applying for university at 17, one of the questions was about religion. Being very anti religion at the time. I said to my dad that 'I should put down cock worshipper' (we had a lot of chickens at home). Hastily I said we would sacrifice cockerels. He never said a word and we didnt even look at each other!

Both while at a hairdressers...

• Friend pulls hair out due to stress and wears extensions to cover it. Saw her out one day and her extensions were a different colour to her natural hair (which is much shorter and patchy, damaged etc), I told her that I loved the colour, then proceeded to tell her that she should 'dye the rest of your hair that colour'. Then realised how nasty it sounded.

• Talking to my hairdresser about hair dyes etc and mention that I used to dye my hair blonde but stopped as I hated that my roots looks black blah blah. Guess who had dyed blonde hair with black roots...

Not both while at a hairdressers
Both about hair!

mipmipmip