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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I asked my guest to leave my home.

999 replies

bubblesdrew · 02/01/2018 22:44

We built a house a couple of fields away from some neighbours.

I met the husband at the local shop a couple of months after we got settled & after some chat asked if him and his wife would like to join us, friends & family for a New Years Eve dinner.

His wife and himself arrived that night and they were initially great. During conversation she asked for a tour of the house and I said no (not in a rude way). 20 minutes later she said again that she would like a tour of the house and again I said no. Then a THIRD time she asked and at that point my husband stepped in and said that there wouldn't be a tour.

She used the bathroom numerous times in the night which is located under the stairs. My niece was in our room at the top of the stairs past the closet which eventually leads into the master bedroom.

This woman had climbed the stairs later in the night when she asked to be excused for the bathroom went through my closet and into the master bedroom. My niece flew down and told my husband who marched upstairs and quietly asked her to leave. She claimed she was lost but, she had used the bottom bathroom all night!!
Should I have given her a tour or was she being completely unreasonable?

OP posts:
LML83 · 02/01/2018 22:47

no of course YANBU. How rude. Was she drunk?

TrojansAreSmegheads · 02/01/2018 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bubblesdrew · 02/01/2018 22:48

@lml83 No she was driving! Which makes it even worse.

OP posts:
StickThatInYourPipe · 02/01/2018 22:49

Did she think she was on an episode of come dine with me? Of corse YANBU

IrkThePurist · 02/01/2018 22:49

No you weren't being unreasonable, its rude for visitors to do things like that. You could have had the dog shut away upstairs or something.

SandAndSea · 02/01/2018 22:49

No, YWNBU. You're allowed to say no. She crossed the line.

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 02/01/2018 22:50

Tbh I would probably have given her a tour. If someone had built a house near us I'd be interested and want a look, tho i wouldn't ask! But no yanbu, once you said no, whatever the reason, she should have accepted and not asked again and certainly not gone nosing! Awful woman!

shatteredandfedup · 02/01/2018 22:50

I'd normally oblige someone asking for a tour - especially if we'd built the house ourselves - unless I had a good reason not to. (Perhaps if it was messy or if there were DC sleeping).

BUT - even if you had no reason other than you couldn't be bothered, she had absolutely no right to go poking round your house!

ferntwist · 02/01/2018 22:52

YANBU to be annoyed she wandered upstairs but how come you didn’t want to give them a quick tour? As you built the house from scratch it would be very interesting.

Silverthorn · 02/01/2018 22:52

She was rude to go for a nosy but why no tour?

YouTheCat · 02/01/2018 22:52

I don't get why you'd invite some random neighbours who you don't know for a NYE dinner party in the first place.

Personally, I'd have offered a quick tour anyway.

JacintaJones · 02/01/2018 22:52

She obviously suspected you of harbouring dead bodies and/or hiding a grow OP.

Do you come across as shady/disreputable?

Misericord · 02/01/2018 22:53

Why on earth did you refuse?

But she sounds batty.

MyDcAreMarvel · 02/01/2018 22:53

You were pretty inhospitable. And why did your niece rush downstairs?

bobstersmum · 02/01/2018 22:55

She was cheeky. But why no tour?

LadyWithLapdog · 02/01/2018 22:56

Nosy cow. YANBU.

bubblesdrew · 02/01/2018 22:56

I said no because I didn't want to do a tour. I should have made up an excuse but, at the time I just said no and left it there...

OP posts:
Shain · 02/01/2018 22:57

Nooooo YANBU!! No matter what their comfort zone is regarding their privacy in their own home, she 100% should have respected yours! Everyone has their own boundaries when it comes to their homes, personally I'm not even keen on strangers entering my front hallway, let alone my bedroom shudders... my home is my sanctuary and it's not just open to any Tom, Dick or Harry that fancies waltzing in, so yeah if I was in your shoes and I had politely refused a tour not even once but three times, and then she just invaded my space anyway, I would have to be restrained from flipping out on her let alone asking her to leave!! I'm impressed that you stayed calm lol! You are definitely not being unreasonable.

missiondecision · 02/01/2018 22:57

Yanbu
What a rude and ignorant woman.
I knew someone who did this, my ds asked if a boy could round for tea, I course I arranged it with the mum and she said yes, he’d love to but only if I can look around your house!! We had some renovations done, nothing fancy. I laughed it off and when she came to collect her ds, I opened the door and she put her foot in door to come in. I said, I’ll get him for you and shut the door. The cheek of some people.

bubblesdrew · 02/01/2018 22:58

@missiondecision Good for you!! I bet she never asked anyone else again.

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 02/01/2018 22:59

There is no way on earth I would invite anyone for a tour of my home. It is none of their business. Your DH absolutely did the right thing.

Oldraver · 02/01/2018 22:59

I am gobsmacked people are asking why no tour ?

Its fucking rude...is this expected of people nowadays ?

bubblesdrew · 02/01/2018 23:00

@mydcaremarvel Her mum was up all night checking on her whilst she was watching a DVD and I think she was a little spooked when a random lady walked in!

OP posts:
cakeflower · 02/01/2018 23:00

You were rude not to give a tour. Unless you had a good reason and explained it.

Her behaviour was of course not ok though

runwalkrun · 02/01/2018 23:01

She was rude to go for a nosy but why no tour?

Why the hell do people expect a bloody tour?
It's so rude.

You're there to enjoy the hospitality and the host's company, not go nosing through their house and all their things.

No wonder so many people hate hosting.