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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I asked my guest to leave my home.

999 replies

bubblesdrew · 02/01/2018 22:44

We built a house a couple of fields away from some neighbours.

I met the husband at the local shop a couple of months after we got settled & after some chat asked if him and his wife would like to join us, friends & family for a New Years Eve dinner.

His wife and himself arrived that night and they were initially great. During conversation she asked for a tour of the house and I said no (not in a rude way). 20 minutes later she said again that she would like a tour of the house and again I said no. Then a THIRD time she asked and at that point my husband stepped in and said that there wouldn't be a tour.

She used the bathroom numerous times in the night which is located under the stairs. My niece was in our room at the top of the stairs past the closet which eventually leads into the master bedroom.

This woman had climbed the stairs later in the night when she asked to be excused for the bathroom went through my closet and into the master bedroom. My niece flew down and told my husband who marched upstairs and quietly asked her to leave. She claimed she was lost but, she had used the bottom bathroom all night!!
Should I have given her a tour or was she being completely unreasonable?

OP posts:
StaplesCorner · 02/01/2018 23:01

Well, you won't be seeing her again. Beyond rude.

missiondecision · 02/01/2018 23:02

I’m amazed at people who thInk the op should have given a tour.....
if nosey bat had asked to look through her fridge should the op have said yes, because fridges are interesting ?? It’s her house..... her rules and all that.

runwalkrun · 02/01/2018 23:03

I’m amazed at people who thInk the op should have given a tour

Me too.
I think it's bad manners to expect and ask for a tour.

MyDcAreMarvel · 02/01/2018 23:03

Sorry op for some reason I assumed your niece was about 19/20.

SequinsOnEverything · 02/01/2018 23:03

I don't think there is a way to refuse someone a tour when they've asked and not be rude, particularly as you say you just said no and left it at that.

However, she was unreasonable to then go snooping.

AskBasil · 02/01/2018 23:04

She is fucking MENTAL

Viviennemary · 02/01/2018 23:04

She was cheeky and a bit forward asking for a tour. But if I was a guest I'd have liked a tour but wouldn't have asked. Maybe hinted though. She wasn't an ideal guest but you sound touchy hosts.

IrkThePurist · 02/01/2018 23:04

Asking something 3 times and ignoring 2 'no's' is rude.
Saying 'no' 3 times is not rude.

WorraLiberty · 02/01/2018 23:04

I've never heard of this 'touring' thing?

Is it expected in all houses when visiting for the first time, or just newly built ones?

Are there any rooms that are considered off limits, or is it like an 'open house policy'?

I'm honestly baffled.

MrsFezziwig · 02/01/2018 23:04

cakeflower do you just want to disagree for disagreeings sake? Since when did it become etiquette to be forced against your will to give tours of your house?

Giraffesarequitetall · 02/01/2018 23:05

I probably would have given the tour but admire you for saying no!

She was ridiculously rude to go looking round anyway.

How did her husband and your other guests react when you asked her to leave?I imagine she was rather embarrassed to get caught out! You were definitely entitled to do so though.

Babybauble · 02/01/2018 23:05

I don't get house tours, I've had people show me around but I don't really get it tbh. I do love a good look, but I wouldn't be keen on showing people round either. Close friends and family different though.

PaxUniversalis · 02/01/2018 23:05

Why would I give anyone a tour of my house. It's nobody's business. They can see the downstairs (kitchen, dining room and sitting room) and use the bathroom upstairs. All other doors will be locked!

Why would you do this? It is rude to ask in the first place.

Bluntness100 · 02/01/2018 23:06

Personally I'd have told her to go for a wander, I wouldn't be concerned about it and am not precious about these things, or sent my daughter to take her, but her behaviour was very weird and totally inexcusable. Your husband did right to ask her to leave. You don't go wandering round someone's house like that, what a nosey cow.

londonrach · 02/01/2018 23:06

Dont understand why you refuse a tour if you asked them in. Very strange. Yanbu re her getting her own tour

nevereverafter · 02/01/2018 23:07

So OP, any chance of some photos of your house. 👀👀👀

peachgreen · 02/01/2018 23:07

I've never asked for a tour of someone's house but I wouldn't be surprised or offended if someone asked me - in fact I'd be quite flattered! I don't think it's rude.

Obviously taking yourself on one when it's been declined is VERY rude, though!

nevereverafter · 02/01/2018 23:07

Oooh and a plan would be useful.

PaxUniversalis · 02/01/2018 23:08

Why would I want to show anyone my bedroom????

Anyone who asks for a tour is very ill-mannered.

I will give a tour when I'm ready not when anyone else demands it!

bestthings · 02/01/2018 23:08

I'd have been annoyed but i wouldn't have been able to ask her to leave. How did he word it?

Original poster
bubblesdrew · 02/01/2018 23:09

@Giraffesarequitetall We didn't want to embarrass her anymore but, her husband was very gracious and apologised on the way out. She on the other hand wasn't so gracious but, not to worry about that! I think everyone was rightly on they didn't notice!

OP posts:
TheLegendOfBeans · 02/01/2018 23:09

Of course SWBU but I do think it’s a little bit tight not to give a tour. Sure it’s naff but it’s be the first thing I’d ask, your house sounds genuinely interesting.

Pity she turned into a possessed nosy bastard.

OurMiracle1106 · 02/01/2018 23:09

Unless it was a child I would also say “NO” first of all OP didn’t know them very well and they clearly had little respect as they asked repeatedly which would make me concerned they had a motive- such as stealing items or burglary.

I have had young kids in my home (5 or 6 years old) and automatically they are curious so I’m happy to show them about.

I also show people where the toilet is- no mistakes of i got lost.

Original poster
bubblesdrew · 02/01/2018 23:09

@nevereverafter yes I will try!

OP posts:
LassWiTheDelicateAir · 02/01/2018 23:10

YouTheCat
I don't get why you'd invite some random neighbours who you don't know for a NYE dinner party in the first place

I don't get that either

Personally, I'd have offered a quick tour anyway

Yes I don't get the big deal here- unless OP thinks she was casing the joint for a future burglary which I suppose given she was a random neighbour might be a possibility.